Rigsby Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I go for the cheapest stuff in LIDL, I think it's about £2 for a dozen rolls. But if you go for a good long dump, you have to wrap it over and over about 4 times to get some strength or your finger goes through it, and its so cr*p that its doesn't absorb and you can't get proper purchase, so you have to have 3 or 4 goes at it. So at the end of the day you are using about 5 or 6 times as much paper per two-bob-bit. But I just can't bring myself to pay out for Andrex or such luxury. I'd use old newspaper, but 'er indoors and the kids won't have any of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Accept no substitutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormymonday_2011 Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cattius Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 What a load of cr@p. I work offshore where they have the cheapest, roughest, thinnest bog roll you can buy and it still cleans my @rse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattW Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 ^ Badger's a*se toilet paper (courtesy of Viz) ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turned Out Nice Again Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I go for the cheapest stuff in LIDL, I think it's about £2 for a dozen rolls. There's a slightly better option at lidl: the 4-ply job; sometimes on offer. Try that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquid Goldfish Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 We had that at school. Because it was so shiny I remember a very high possibility of slippage and spreadage when trying to get enough purchase. Accept no substitutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steppenpig Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Separate the sheets and glue squares of newspaper inbetween to strengthen them, and then roll it all up again. The wife'll never notice. I hate the ones with the little yellow and brown flowery patterns on them, so you have to examine them really closely to tell if you're done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 What a load of cr@p. I work offshore where they have the cheapest, roughest, thinnest bog roll you can buy and it still cleans my @rse. Why not just crap over the side. and let the sea lick your bum clean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkman Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Why not just crap over the side. and let the sea lick your bum clean? Well quite. But anyway if you require a load of toilet paper each time it really means you need to change your diet i.e. you need more fibre and probiotics etc. You'll be pooping so cleanly no paper necessary. An even cheaper alternative is, of course.... the Arab method. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rave Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Aldi's 'Saxon' brand white rolls, £1.99 for 9 are good IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 A mate was renovating an old house. The toilet was blocked by one of the builders wiping their **** with coarse grain woodchip wallaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 A mate was renovating an old house. The toilet was blocked by one of the builders wiping their **** with coarse grain woodchip wallaper. I use woodchip wallpaper to wipe my backside too. It works best while it is still on the wall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Miyagi Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 We use cheap aldi rolls, not because I like the feeling of wiping my ass with coarse sandpaper but because, thanks to our 'eco' water saving toilet, any hint of luxury invariably means I have to dispatch the plunger to clear the wreckage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 No toilet paper required when you invest in a bidet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Grease paper like, Izal could make a comeback. I had a look for a laugh, but an Amazon seller sells it for 12 boxes for a £17. Assuming one normal bog roll is equivalent to one box of Izal, that's pricey. If you can pick up a box of Izal for 10p, then one will make do and mend when you're skint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Accept no substitutes Grease paper like, Izal could make a comeback big time in the coming years as incomes get more squeezed. I believe it is the stuff that you used at school. I had a look for a laugh to see if you could buy it in bulk. An Amazon seller, sells it at £17 for 12 boxes. Assuming one normal bog roll is equivalent to one box of Izal, that's pricey. If you can pick up a box of Izal for 10p, then one will make do and mend when you're skint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tankus Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Izals a good option when you have visitors , can't be used for anything else ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wherebee Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Maybe I have missed the point here, but WHY is Izals used at all? Is it by hospitals to stop misude of normal paper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Izals a good option when you have visitors , can't be used for anything else ...... ....yes it can, tracing paper. .....almost forgot, ideal for lining baking trays, good alternative to baking parchment, sometimes you have to overlap but the readymade creases make the job so much easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daft Boy Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I will ask my young Romanian maid servant what she uses on mine. It does feel jolly nice. It must be from Waitrose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erat_forte Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Maybe I have missed the point here, but WHY is Izals used at all? Is it by hospitals to stop misude of normal paper? I too genuinely wonder about this. I have never seen any reason given. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Not another Daily Mail thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the gardener Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 No toilet paper required when you invest in a bidet. Tell me, does a bidet shoot cold water up your ****? I'd rather use Izal than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Habeas Domus Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Why not just crap over the side. and let the sea lick your bum clean? Have you never been on an oil rig, the sea is about 600 feet down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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