Has waiting for a House Price Crash affected your relationship/s

[user not found]

My wife and I were happy to get married even though house buying was not certain. Indeed we had kids in rented and continue to rent a 2 bed (even though kids share a room - boy 6 and girl 8).  The stress of knowing we need to move soon into somewhere with a 3rd bedroom does have some impact on our relationship, but we certainly didn't put marriage/kids on hold. I hope to eek out our current property for another year, so we can buy in summer '21 once the corvid-crash has matured.

[GregBowman]

7 hours ago, winkie said:

That is how it should be.....if it is to be anyway, a personal promise to each other with a blessing from a higher intermediary.?

The promise is  what counts and as you rightly say you don't need a piece of paper for that. At its purest a look into each others soul through their eyes - it is looking up at the stars and taking a punt on forever - still magical and its why we all still get misty eyed when we are in the presence of a young couple in love. I am finding I am freshly valuing these things amongst all the madness ?

[PeanutButter]

12 hours ago, longgone said:

Post war women yes that's just how it was. I'm sure any woman would stick around kids or not now mind, not all women actually wanted kids in the first place. Single mum looked very bad in the 40 50 60's

The stats for single parenthood in UK are surprising (to me anyway). 1 in 4 kids has a single parent.

People need to have the freedom to say no, I don’t want kids, without society reacting in horror and ‘who’s going to wipe your bum when you’re old’ emotional manipulation. As if raising children in order to have a carer isn’t an insane way to look at things. 

And politicians always banging on about hard working families, as if single people are lazy spongers.

 

[winkie]

29 minutes ago, GregBowman said:

The promise is  what counts and as you rightly say you don't need a piece of paper for that. At its purest a look into each others soul through their eyes - it is looking up at the stars and taking a punt on forever - still magical and its why we all still get misty eyed when we are in the presence of a young couple in love. I am finding I am freshly valuing these things amongst all the madness ?

Yes lovely to see....can only wish the best for them and may nothing drive them apart, in it for the long haul.....healthier countries/communities have strong families.

[Si1]

3 hours ago, GregBowman said:

The promise is  what counts and as you rightly say you don't need a piece of paper for that.  ?

Making the promise in front of combined family in a ceremony of sort makes it somewhat more binding, imho, with or without govt paperwork. I think where current or future children are involved, especially, this is important.

 

Edited July 1, 2020 by Si1

[longgone]

3 hours ago, PeanutButter said:

The stats for single parenthood in UK are surprising (to me anyway). 1 in 4 kids has a single parent.

People need to have the freedom to say no, I don’t want kids, without society reacting in horror and ‘who’s going to wipe your bum when you’re old’ emotional manipulation. As if raising children in order to have a carer isn’t an insane way to look at things. 

And politicians always banging on about hard working families, as if single people are lazy spongers.

 

well that in itself tells everything about relationships between people. either got together for the wrong reasons and then went on to have kids like they were picking something out the argos catalog then changed their mind and one of them ran off. stands to reason as we live in the buy now pay later world, why should kids not be included too ? 

if you ask me its just a load of brainwashed morons again taking on debt, having kids its the same, instant gratification but they don`t want any of the down sides. 

 

[longgone]

5 hours ago, scottbeard said:

 

This, however, is true - none of us know how we will react to things until we are tested.  That doesn't mean, unlike Orb's generalisation, that we never even think about it.

If people had anything about them they would have thought about that in the first place. for those that do tie the knot its all their in black and white in the vows.  don`t like the terms and conditions don`t sigh on the dotted line. 

[GregBowman]

1 hour ago, Si1 said:

Making the promise in front of combined family in a ceremony of sort makes it somewhat more binding, imho, with or without govt paperwork. I think where current or future children are involved, especially, this is important.

 

So do I -  a family is more than just the couple

[GregBowman]

1 hour ago, longgone said:

well that in itself tells everything about relationships between people. either got together for the wrong reasons and then went on to have kids like they were picking something out the argos catalog then changed their mind and one of them ran off. stands to reason as we live in the buy now pay later world, why should kids not be included too ? 

if you ask me its just a load of brainwashed morons again taking on debt, having kids its the same, instant gratification but they don`t want any of the down sides. 

 

So true and sad

[Si1]

27 minutes ago, GregBowman said:

So true and sad

+1

[winkie]

50 minutes ago, GregBowman said:

So true and sad

+2  A child and a promise is for life, not just for Christmas or an excuse for a party.

[richmondtw]

20 hours ago, GregBowman said:

I wanted to marry under the auspices of my god the piece of paper from the government was irrelevant

That is fine each to their own - personally I am an atheist I and my partner are very happy with no bit of paper or god 

[ucnvpe0]

What about the implications of inheritance/pension/ taxes etc.?

[whynow]

100%

Last year I pulled out ornaments a house at the last second as I just couldn’t deal with paying half a million for a mid terrace at the end of the northern line - 15 minutes from the station in a town I hated (Morden).

Then this year, I took that lesson and put in an offer of £530k for a mid terrace but close to the station in the nice town of Cheam (not on the tube) and Covid Hit the week before i was due to pay the deposit - I work in travel and was personally sacking people that week. It felt too risky and again I pulled out. I now have a child and my partner is not enjoying life in our 1 bed flat esp in lockdown. She wants to move but does understand that buying today would be madness. The banks have put paid to our plan anyway as we only had 10%, I’ll spend the next two years continuing to save to get to 15%. I was lucky not to lose my job but we all took a chunky pay cut.

My hope isn’t 1) the market goes down at least 15-20% and we can look at semis in our chosen location (well my real hope is a 50% crash and I am get an amazing house!)

2) forced to have a 15/20% deposit our monthly payments will be less and we end up paying off the house before the baby gets to Uni - much easier than on that 10% deposit.

sitting right and being patient has not been my strong suit! But I think this will wind to its lowest point over the next 2-3 years.

[whynow]

2 minutes ago, whynow said:

100%

Last year I pulled out ornaments a house at the last second as I just couldn’t deal with paying half a million for a mid terrace at the end of the northern line - 15 minutes from the station in a town I hated (Morden).

Then this year, I took that lesson and put in an offer of £530k for a mid terrace but close to the station in the nice town of Cheam (not on the tube) and Covid Hit the week before i was due to pay the deposit - I work in travel and was personally sacking people that week. It felt too risky and again I pulled out. I now have a child and my partner is not enjoying life in our 1 bed flat esp in lockdown. She wants to move but does understand that buying today would be madness. The banks have put paid to our plan anyway as we only had 10%, I’ll spend the next two years continuing to save to get to 15%. I was lucky not to lose my job but we all took a chunky pay cut.

My hope isn’t 1) the market goes down at least 15-20% and we can look at semis in our chosen location (well my real hope is a 50% crash and I am get an amazing house!)

2) forced to have a 15/20% deposit our monthly payments will be less and we end up paying off the house before the baby gets to Uni - much easier than on that 10% deposit.

sitting right and being patient has not been my strong suit! But I think this will wind to its lowest point over the next 2-3 years.

1) I pulled out of - I did not nothing with ‘ornaments’

2) my hope IS

3) where the eff is the edit button?

[Dorkins]

43 minutes ago, whynow said:

3) where the eff is the edit button?

I think you probably don't have enough posts yet to get an edit button.

[scottbeard]

46 minutes ago, Dorkins said:

I think you probably don't have enough posts yet to get an edit button.

I joined this site in May 2007 and have over 4,500 posts and still don't have an edit button!

[PeanutButter]

1 hour ago, scottbeard said:

I joined this site in May 2007 and have over 4,500 posts and still don't have an edit button!

Lol I mainly use it to add stupid emojis ?

[whynow]

This site is a git to use on a mobile phone! I have ads follow me down the threads blocking me from reading anything or posting!

[dryrot]

On 30/06/2020 at 14:56, spyguy said:

Larkin was born in 1922. I douht he saw many colourd people til he was well in his 30s.

And he didnt start a 3rd Reich.

Indeed. But his father was a Nazi sympathiser - he kept a statuette of Hitler on the drawing-room mantelpiece - press a button and its right arm shot up in a Nazi salute. 

I love Larkins poetry, tho. Wish he'd accepted the Poet Laureate-ship

[sammersmith]

13 hours ago, whynow said:

100%

Last year I pulled out ornaments a house at the last second as I just couldn’t deal with paying half a million for a mid terrace at the end of the northern line - 15 minutes from the station in a town I hated (Morden).

Then this year, I took that lesson and put in an offer of £530k for a mid terrace but close to the station in the nice town of Cheam (not on the tube) and Covid Hit the week before i was due to pay the deposit - I work in travel and was personally sacking people that week. It felt too risky and again I pulled out. I now have a child and my partner is not enjoying life in our 1 bed flat esp in lockdown. She wants to move but does understand that buying today would be madness. The banks have put paid to our plan anyway as we only had 10%, I’ll spend the next two years continuing to save to get to 15%. I was lucky not to lose my job but we all took a chunky pay cut.

My hope isn’t 1) the market goes down at least 15-20% and we can look at semis in our chosen location (well my real hope is a 50% crash and I am get an amazing house!)

2) forced to have a 15/20% deposit our monthly payments will be less and we end up paying off the house before the baby gets to Uni - much easier than on that 10% deposit.

sitting right and being patient has not been my strong suit! But I think this will wind to its lowest point over the next 2-3 years.

I grew up in the area you are now looking to buy. 

When i was young the miles of depressing 1930's semis made me hurry to get out. I could never have imagined any house in that area would sell for 0.5 million. I honestly don't know why anyone would choose to live around Cheam/Worcester Park/Morden/Malden/Sutton/etc. and give up their entire life's work in an attempt to afford it. It is a dull area, with bad schools and too far from London to be useful. Kingston is also too far and Sutton is too rough. 

I left there long ago and live in Manchester now. Up here there are areas that look almost identical to Cheam but are around the 100-200k mark. £300k and you're into very decent house territory.

If you say you have a 10% deposit for a £500k house (£50k) if we assume a 4 x mortgage does that mean you are earning over £110k in the travel industry? Your partner has a baby so is either not working, on maternity, or forking out for child care. I'm genuinely interested in how you or anyone can afford to live in London(ish) without BOMAD as I gave up and left. 

Edited July 2, 2020 by sammersmith

[whynow]

2 hours ago, sammersmith said:

I grew up in the area you are now looking to buy. 

When i was young the miles of depressing 1930's semis made me hurry to get out. I could never have imagined any house in that area would sell for 0.5 million. I honestly don't know why anyone would choose to live around Cheam/Worcester Park/Morden/Malden/Sutton/etc. and give up their entire life's work in an attempt to afford it. It is a dull area, with bad schools and too far from London to be useful. Kingston is also too far and Sutton is too rough. 

I left there long ago and live in Manchester now. Up here there are areas that look almost identical to Cheam but are around the 100-200k mark. £300k and you're into very decent house territory.

If you say you have a 10% deposit for a £500k house (£50k) if we assume a 4 x mortgage does that mean you are earning over £110k in the travel industry? Your partner has a baby so is either not working, on maternity, or forking out for child care. I'm genuinely interested in how you or anyone can afford to live in London(ish) without BOMAD as I gave up and left. 

Yes I do earn over that figure - I’m a marketing director and feel pretty bummed out that on this salary and working like a **** 7 days a week I can only get a 3 bed terrace for half a million quid! I’m a northerner and would LOVE to go back but there’s few jobs and my partner thinks anything outside of the M25 is akin to hades (not British and London is her world). 

[Habeas Domus]

On 01/07/2020 at 09:39, PeanutButter said:

And politicians always banging on about hard working families, as if single people are lazy spongers.

I always hear that phrase as "lets get those 12 year olds back to work, cleaning chimneys, like the good old days"

[sammersmith]

4 minutes ago, whynow said:

Yes I do earn over that figure - I’m a marketing director and feel pretty bummed out that on this salary and working like a **** 7 days a week I can only get a 3 bed terrace for half a million quid!

That's truly shocking. You're on a very decent salary, even by London standards, yet you're living in a 1bed rented flat with a baby and aspiring to a terrace in Cheam. If there's anything that shows what is wrong with being a professional in London it's got to be this. 

9 minutes ago, whynow said:

but there’s few jobs and my partner thinks anything outside of the M25 is akin to hades (not British and London is her world). 

My misses (also not British) felt the same before we moved up north but she wanted a family and there was no hope of having a decent stable family life in London. She eventually, begrudgingly, accepted that. If working from home becomes the new normal then i'll be moving somewhere more rural, and i suspect others will do the same.  

[whynow]

10 hours ago, sammersmith said:

That's truly shocking. You're on a very decent salary, even by London standards, yet you're living in a 1bed rented flat with a baby and aspiring to a terrace in Cheam. If there's anything that shows what is wrong with being a professional in London it's got to be this. 

My misses (also not British) felt the same before we moved up north but she wanted a family and there was no hope of having a decent stable family life in London. She eventually, begrudgingly, accepted that. If working from home becomes the new normal then i'll be moving somewhere more rural, and i suspect others will do the same.  

I have no BOMAD where a lot of my peers do that allow them to get on the ladder easier. Very hard for the bootstrappers amongst us that don't have any inheritance or bomad to help us. I think us northerners really get it stuck in our throats about the high prices, even my father who worked in a factory and my mum at a supermarket - had a better quality of home than I do in London at their age (they lived in Yorkshire). 

Those from London, or elsewhere who go "yeah but its London, you have to pay a premium" can accept it. For me, with everything deliverable now and streamable, whats the need to be so close to London? I can live in North Yorkshire and get the finest wines from the world delivered to my door if I want! "But what if we want to go to the theatre"?! We never do! And with a baby we never will! I'll take a Scarborough seafront panto instead and a 5 bed detached! 

 

Do i seem bitter? I f**king am! lol