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My Best Mate Has Found Out His Partner Is Screwing Someone Else


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HOLA441

Just been speaking to him.

His plan is to do the business one last time from behind and photo it with date.

Then give it to the ******wit lover.....he works in a local shop. Apparently they were seen arguing recently; he accused her of still f*****g my mate even though she told him it was over.

Good idea or bad one?

A very bad idea.

Having sex with someone cheating on you makes you a bigger fool.

And sending photos of the act could be something that gets him in trouble.

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HOLA442

Everyone else has quite correctly pointed out what your mate should do, which is practise his acting / poker face for a couple of days, and then break up with her as if he's truly sorry but it's just not working out. It occurs to me that if she's a wily campaigner she may then tell him about the affair she's been having for one of two reasons- either to say that she thinks he knows and she's sorry and can they patch things up...or as a final 'up yours' to try and regain some power by hurting him. If it's the former he should look hurt and chuck her out of the house straight away. If it's the latter he should be magnanimity itself and express relief that he's not breaking her heart, then do the 'I'm glad we can still be friends' act (until she's out of the door, from which point forward he should endlessly muck her about if she ever gets in touch suggesting they meet up).

Sorry if I'm teaching granny to suck eggs here, but however angry he may be, and however in control he may seem at the moment, I'm pretty sure that he will be very upset about the proceedings, so do make sure you're there for him in the aftermath.

Yep, that's exactly what I meant by "Let's just be friends"

It would be interesting to post the same question on Mumsnet but with the sexes reversed.

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HOLA447

Just say Ive met someone more suited to me and younger.

While that is priceless, I'd be wary of her turning into a bunny boiler.

I'd still go for the "Just not right for me, there's nobody else, so sorry I feel that way but I'll not change my mind, it's better to split now while we can still be friends"

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Wouldnt even bother with anything, I'd just come home, change the locks and not say a word.. Shes bound to either kick off or whinge as to "why?" and she would get told "I know, you know, so see ya"

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HOLA4412

Never touch a woman with a drink problem.

Yes on the clap. Shes probably riddled.

True. many years ago I hooked up with someone who was basically an alky. At first I thought she was just a real live wire party girl, and it was fun. After a while it became apparent that she was hammered every night, and in the process of losing her job and house through alcoholism (the pressure of which 'forced' her to drink even more, she explained). All offers of help and efforts with the alcoholism were a waste of time and generated nothing but deceptions and lies. She was also constantly tapping me up for money, given that she'd drunk hers.

When I said I didn't sign up for this there was a ton of emotional blackmail. Turned out that this scenario was why her ex had dumped her the year before.

As for the OP, I'd recommend jettisoning her and moving on. It'll be his gain and her loss. Cut his losses and let her live in squalor with her skint lover; such people aren't worth wasting valuable life on.

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True. many years ago I hooked up with someone who was basically an alky. At first I thought she was just a real live wire party girl, and it was fun. After a while it became apparent that she was hammered every night, and in the process of losing her job and house through alcoholism (the pressure of which 'forced' her to drink even more, she explained). All offers of help and efforts with the alcoholism were a waste of time and generated nothing but deceptions and lies. She was also constantly tapping me up for money, given that she'd drunk hers.

When I said I didn't sign up for this there was a ton of emotional blackmail. Turned out that this scenario was why her ex had dumped her the year before.

As for the OP, I'd recommend jettisoning her and moving on. It'll be his gain and her loss. Cut his losses and let her live in squalor with her skint lover; such people aren't worth wasting valuable life on.

They drink cos they're happy.

cos they're sad.

cos they have money

cos they are broke.

20 YO party girls tend to turn into 40 YO lushes.

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Does he have a mate that has a spare key? If so, that mate could get the locks changed before he gets back.

Would be priceless for her to turn up with the other guy looking forward to a shag and her key doesn't work.

The best revenge imo is for him to say absolutely nothing to her. Or at the most, something vague like 'Every summer dies'.

The lack of closure will do her head in.

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While "politely ditch her and say nothing" is pretty good advice, I doubt it'll be a quick and easy process given that they're actually living together. Decorum and decency[1] require that he doesn't simply hoof her onto the street, so it'll take time. This means he needs to steel himself emotionally and come up with a script to stick to - and all the time he needs to be burying his instinct to blurt out "..it's because you're a duplicitous lying slapper and I know everything" which would rather ruin it.

And do let us know how this resolves. I love a good gossip and can't stand it when salacious threads peter out without the denouement.

[1] I, at least, am sort of old fashioned. But I've found that sticking to these values does actually make life's trials and tribulations easier.

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HOLA4417

Um, these suggestions are now illegal under the revenge laws - people posting photos, texts, video, of partners online in order to shame and gain revenge.

Change the locks and sheets. Move on.

Do see how it would illegal to install a covert "security" camera in the bedroom in your own house and accidentally let slip the IP address, could go viral ...

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Does he have a mate that has a spare key? If so, that mate could get the locks changed before he gets back.

Would be priceless for her to turn up with the other guy looking forward to a shag and her key doesn't work.

The best revenge imo is for him to say absolutely nothing to her. Or at the most, something vague like 'Every summer dies'.

The lack of closure will do her head in.

He's getting locks changed this afternoon but not telling her. The locksmith can drill the old one out and replace. Also locksmith is making sure all windows are closed and secure.

My mate has changed from a hurt soul to angry Alpha.

He's taken the red pill.

Say's he's gonna practice dread and plate spinning then erase the ****** from his memory.

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