Turned Out Nice Again Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 My own tonic for never ever being depressed (which I never do) is that i love to solve problems/challenges, and this will sound odd, but spent a large portion of my life hoping for things to go wrong in some way, so that I could actually help out - so in one sense I am never disappointed as I always see worse out come as possible than what actually happens (this is why I like HPC). Rather weird, but I could almost call it a superhero complex. I'm not deluded enough to make things go wrong myself in a Munchhausen by proxy kind of way, but a massive asteroid plunging toward to Earth or threatened Nazi invasion is the sort of mobilization challenge I'd relish - though not something I'd actually want to happen of course. I don't think society really needs people like this very often, but when it does, it really needs them. I find I can fuss over minor detail, but can be very calm is a crisis, and the bigger the crisis the better. My heroes are people like Red Adair. I think you have a point. It's a lack of significant challenges in life (and yet still failing) that is really depressing. here's how to have a good day in terrible circumstances: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Hey - no offence taken, I don't post my thoughts for hugs or ego boosts, I like a bit of honest debate! So I appreciate the post. The wasted day/month/year bit.... I do feel like that sometimes, but if I were to rationally look at what I do every year I guess I'd have to agree that I'm not a total loser sitting in their parents basement 24/7. I'm earning a living, looking after myself, and doing a reasonable bit of travelling. But I still have these chonic feelings of inadequacy. I feel I haven't lived the life I feel I could have, or achieved as much as I could, because of my constantly daydreaming/wandering mind, my tendency towards depression and social withdrawl and my difficulty in finding 'my people'; i.e. people that I really connect with. I also have a number of niggling medical issues, I haven't felt fully 'well' in years. But as for being 'broken', who knows. It's all subjective isn't it. We've all got our quirks. I'm self aware anyway, and I think I'm getting wiser as the years pass. On a lighter note today I wrote a bit of comedy in the morning, then went to the gym for a while, contacted someone I hadn't seen in a while and went to the cinema/drink with them, and got my shopping done. So I'm in good form today You're not going to win a 4 depressed Yorkshire men sketch with that sort of day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted August 9, 2014 Share Posted August 9, 2014 Joe - you made a comment on a thread (not sure if it was this one) about your opinion that the modern world is insane. I have exactly the same feeling, I live my life in a state of permanent confusion about how things work. Things that should be simple are difficult, always. I find coping with that hard, and I'm sure it's a source of anxiety for many. As far as coping goes, I have a family (wife and 2 kids) that I love dearly and couldn't bear to be without. They're my crutch and keep me sane. I know that if I lost one of my kids I would fall apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I am more like Mr CCC, than I would like to admit! I have hobbies (too many), and I don't think I have ever been depressed! But I get miserable, and I am good at that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 OK I do agree that exercise is a 'distraction' - but a good one - and one that naturally makes you feel better. That can never be bad - can it ? Head in the sand ? Well if the sand makes you feel good - ram it right in there Challenge for anyone with balls on this thread who is depressed - look out your window - see a hill - go and run/walk up it. Tell us how you feel when you reach the top. I will be interested to know if the sand feels nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeDavola Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Joe - you made a comment on a thread (not sure if it was this one) about your opinion that the modern world is insane. I have exactly the same feeling, I live my life in a state of permanent confusion about how things work. Things that should be simple are difficult, always. I find coping with that hard, and I'm sure it's a source of anxiety for many. As far as coping goes, I have a family (wife and 2 kids) that I love dearly and couldn't bear to be without. They're my crutch and keep me sane. I know that if I lost one of my kids I would fall apart. Yes - there are so many aspects of modern culture and the things that the whole country just 'accepts' as being the way things are, that I just think are utterly insane. This is why I love good standup comedy, because the best comedians tell people how ridiculous they are, in an entertaining way. There's only a handful of comedians that do this really well (George Carlin, Bill Burr, Louis CK and Doug Stanhope are my favs), but they are worth their weight in gold. I guess what you have to do is learn to avoid the stressors when they are things that you cannot change - one step would be to just avoid most mainstream media - most news is of no use whatsoever to the plebs, it just gives them something to complain about to each other in lieu of any real conversation. I remember visiting my parents a few months back. Dad had been retired a couple of years, no mortgage, decent pension, had retired at 59. All good. Not a care in the world you'd think. And he suddenly went into this prolonged rant about the fact that a Prime Minister gets a pension after one day in service. I mean he was getting really worked up, nearly turning purple with rage, and for what? I usually glimpse the newspaper headlines in a shop every day as I pass by on my way to work, and the headlines seem to be designed to wind the plebs up in this way about things that either have no relevance to them whatsoever (celeb stuff) or things that they cannot change. We need to learn to let it go. Dwelling on these things is a waste of a life, but for alot of people (and I'm certainly not immune from this either), they seem to get some sort of psycological kick from being angry - perhaps as somebody said we need struggle in our lives and if we don't get it, we look to the easiest source we can to create it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustYield Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I was actually looking for the scene in "In Bruges" where Ralph Fiennes says, "we're all ******ing depressed!" when I came across this Colin Farrell interview: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepwello'nights Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I don't think I've suffered with the condition but did go through a major 'blue' patch a few years ago. I did as well, about 10 years ago. Fortunately my wife was very supportive and it passed. Looking back it was a very dark period. It started off as feeling the blues, then I started to focus on the negative aspects of my live. I started to look back and became aware of my shortcomings, mistakes I had made, decisions that didn't work out as I'd hoped. The more I concentrated on how badly things were because of my shortcomings, how I could have or should have done things differently and better the steeper the spiral into depression became. I became morose, sullen and difficult to live with. Everything was too much trouble, there was no point in doing anything, whatever it was would only end badly so why bother. I started to think that there was no point and thoughts of ending it all started to form an allure. Then the blackness eased. I've always been a very introspective person and I'm accused of over analysis and dragging the past with me. The simplest thing reversed the spiral. I was reading an article about depression and it contained the phrase "be kind to yourself". That was it. I think that was all it took, a simple written sentence. Then the realisation took hold that perhaps I wasn't such a failure I should count my blessings, look at how well my now grown up children were doing, how we had the material sustenance we needed that despite the financial pressures we faced we still had savings and resources. Exercise was an influence as well. To ease the boredom of doing nothing I would often go out for short walks, sometimes drive into the countyside, park the car and walk around. I also started martial arts classes to relieve the boredom and have something to do. A while later I read Gerald Ratners autobiography in it he relates how after his ignominious fall his feelings towards himself changed when he started cycling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RentingForever Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Depression is the great hidden illness. Once you open up about having it it's amazing how many people confide that they or someone close have suffered somewhere along the spectrum. I had a very bad patch about a year ago. For me the two best things that got me out of it were exercise (as others have said) and some of the techniques of mindfulness. Of the latter the best insight, very similar to "this too will pass", was that you are not your emotions or thoughts, and you can step back from them both, regarding them as 'weather' blowing through your mind and with no more validity than other 'weather'. The worst thing was keeping a diary, which encouraged spiralling negativity. I suspect it's different for everyone though. You just have to find your personal way through. The good news is that after the first time you develop techniques to ward off or lessen subsequent attacks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 Depression is the great hidden illness. Once you open up about having it it's amazing how many people confide that they or someone close have suffered somewhere along the spectrum. I have a friend! He does not get depressed any more! Sort of "grew out of it"! I am sure his father is a bit of shit, and he doesn't talk him any more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronyx Posted August 10, 2014 Share Posted August 10, 2014 I had my first ever severe anxiety attack/nervous breakdown with that going round my head back in 2003 Happy times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I had my first ever severe anxiety attack/nervous breakdown with that going round my head back in 2003 Happy times One lesson worth learning is that nobody can save another from their misery and pain, only they themselves can save themselves......generally speaking people tend to avoid unhappy, depressed and needy people......are attracted to happier more self-assured people.....human nature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crashmonitor Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I reckon exercise is the best antidote to depression. Walking is my serotonin fix. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Let's get britain moving !! Slimmer fitter happier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuG III Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 The way I see it - The only way we can cope with the truth of our condition is by ignoring that truth. That means distracting ourselves from reality to allow ourselves to focus. This can be in form of drugs/drinking, excercise, religeon, tv, gaming etc. The only difference between someone who is depressed and someone who is not, is that the depressed person has lost the ability to distract himself from reality and is now staring at the truth - that we all die, that everyone we love dies, that everything we hold dear is only temporary, and that death is a miserable, undignified, painful experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuggets Mahoney Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 The way I see it - The only way we can cope with the truth of our condition is by ignoring that truth. That means distracting ourselves from reality to allow ourselves to focus. This can be in form of drugs/drinking, excercise, religeon, tv, gaming etc. The only difference between someone who is depressed and someone who is not, is that the depressed person has lost the ability to distract himself from reality and is now staring at the truth - that we all die, that everyone we love dies, that everything we hold dear is only temporary, and that death is a miserable, undignified, painful experience. Aren't allotments great. I doubled my yardage shortly after watching a couple of close relatives die miserable, undignified, painful deaths. Probably something to do with being fully occupied with physical labour and syncing with the seasons and rhythm of life and all that. Winter can be a tad tricky though. I've had friends and family try to talk me out of my current mindset, which is detached but mostly functional rather than depressed, and I've said 'I don't think we should do this. We're only going to come out the other end with me feeling the same and you feeling a little bit worse about your own condition', but we have and they have. As I see it, there are at least two categories of 'depression'; one the result of physiological imbalances, the other intellectual. Confusing the latter with the former and trying to blot it out with pills would be unwise imho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Aren't allotments great. I doubled my yardage shortly after watching a couple of close relatives die miserable, undignified, painful deaths. Probably something to do with being fully occupied with physical labour and syncing with the seasons and rhythm of life and all that. Winter can be a tad tricky though. I want to see your allotment! I will sit there until something grows! You seem like a kind person! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuggets Mahoney Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 I will sit there until something grows I spend a fair bit of time doing that. I'll maybe capture a photo of my spread one evening this week, heavens permitting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Economic Exile Posted August 11, 2014 Author Share Posted August 11, 2014 Aren't allotments great. I doubled my yardage shortly after watching a couple of close relatives die miserable, undignified, painful deaths. Probably something to do with being fully occupied with physical labour and syncing with the seasons and rhythm of life and all that. Winter can be a tad tricky though. I've had friends and family try to talk me out of my current mindset, which is detached but mostly functional rather than depressed, and I've said 'I don't think we should do this. We're only going to come out the other end with me feeling the same and you feeling a little bit worse about your own condition', but we have and they have. As I see it, there are at least two categories of 'depression'; one the result of physiological imbalances, the other intellectual. Confusing the latter with the former and trying to blot it out with pills would be unwise imho. Yes. Physiological imbalances which I think need to be addressed by diet, exercise and relaxation techniques instead of/as well as medication. However, intellectual types usually figure this out for themselves . I think ongoing "depression" that isn't alleviated by diet etc, medication or therapy is likely to be existential angst. Something from the past or an existential fear eg fear of death or dissatisfaction with life. I agree, trying to blot this type of "depression" out with pills or alcohol is unwise. I relate to Scophenhaur's (spelling?) views on life. He thought that nature and life was cruel and that the world was full of suffering. His antidote was to take solace in nature and art and creativity. In life if something can't be changed it needs to be accepted/come to terms with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Let's get britain moving !! Slimmer fitter happier. Let's go for 18 pints an a kebab! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Democorruptcy Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Aren't allotments great. I doubled my yardage shortly after watching a couple of close relatives die miserable, undignified, painful deaths. Probably something to do with being fully occupied with physical labour and syncing with the seasons and rhythm of life and all that. Winter can be a tad tricky though. I've had friends and family try to talk me out of my current mindset, which is detached but mostly functional rather than depressed, and I've said 'I don't think we should do this. We're only going to come out the other end with me feeling the same and you feeling a little bit worse about your own condition', but we have and they have. As I see it, there are at least two categories of 'depression'; one the result of physiological imbalances, the other intellectual. Confusing the latter with the former and trying to blot it out with pills would be unwise imho. I'm not sure about that last bit. It seems to assume there is no connection between mind and body. You could have someone with an intellectual problem who because of their depression is not sleeping or eating well. Once out of a regular sleep cycle and not eating properly surely it would be harder to solve the intellectual problem because they would be run down? So pills that promote better sleep and appetite, could for a time, be helpful. Then once a better sleep and eating pattern is established the pills could stop and there would be more chance of the person being able to solve the intellectual problem. Of course this depends on how easy it is to stop taking the pills, once they are started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuggets Mahoney Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I'm not sure about that last bit. It seems to assume there is no connection between mind and body. You could have someone with an intellectual problem who because of their depression is not sleeping or eating well. Once out of a regular sleep cycle and not eating properly surely it would be harder to solve the intellectual problem because they would be run down? So pills that promote better sleep and appetite, could for a time, be helpful. Then once a better sleep and eating pattern is established the pills could stop and there would be more chance of the person being able to solve the intellectual problem. Of course this depends on how easy it is to stop taking the pills, once they are started. I would not deny connections between between mind and body. What I'm suggesting is that what is referred to as depression may sometimes have a root physiological, essentially chemical, cause but it could also be the result of observation, experience, personal circumstances and reasoning. Maybe the subject is feeling a tad negative because there are rational grounds to feel that way. In the scenario you're outlining, the 'pills' you are referring to are being used to suppress symptoms rather than root cause. It wouldn't be my own preference but there may be some situations where it could take some pressure off the individual in the way you outline. The practice I suggest as being unwise is the use of 'pills', either prescribed or self-medicated, to suppress or manipulate an individual's ability to reason, on the pretext that individual is having not happy thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I think trying to work out your place in the Cosmos and obtaining some understanding of Existence is important. It is all pointless. We are all going to die. Nothing will stop that inevitability. Now you have made me depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Now you have made me depressed. Right! We are off to the pub then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 But I still have these chonic feelings of inadequacy. I feel I haven't lived the life I feel I could have, or achieved as much as I could, because of.. Maybe you haven't. But, perhaps you could. The past is not necessarily a guide to the future. I have a tendency to depression. The last one lasted for perhaps two years and lifted - finally - about three months ago. I do think it has a lot to do with childhood experiences and possibly a predisposition. I am not, actually, bipolar, but it's something that I have pondered. But then we're all different and unique, and I don't think it would necessarily help even if the label "bipolar" could be attached. A few successes and lifting the brain out of the negative self-reinforcing tendencies seem to work for me. At least, it did this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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