stormymonday_2011 Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Take salsa lessons or something a bit clichéd like that, it'll still work. Join a climbing club/tennis club/swimming club etc ad infinitum Or whatever takes your fancy. I knew someone who met his wife at a car rally(OK I thought she was awful, but he seemed happy) Just do stuff and look happy about it, women will show up, they always do. Any sort of dance form that requires a partner is a winner. I remember years noting years ago at University when that type of activity was seriously uncool that there was a huge surplus of nice looking girls over blokes in the ballroom dancing society. I expect that applies at all age groups.It is also one of the few activities where you get to handle the goods before buying so to speak without risk of arrest. Of course, it helps if you can dance and do not have two left feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissy_fit Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 If someone hasn't got any hobbies/activities where they might meet a woman, maybe they should get some anyway? POF isn't going to help much if for an IT spod who plays his X-box in the evenings and eats takeaway pizzas/curries. On the other hand they might meet someone similar, I suppose... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ARIMA Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 it all was going great, and I messed one little thing up and I've been 'friend-zoned'. What did you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Piddle Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Nutter Update: she sent me a message this morning on POF saying: "I've lost your number " Thank Christ....I have now blocked her on POF. Her number and messages have been deleted from my phone....I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! She sounds lonely and probably painfully shy, still unless you've got tons of time of your hands like it sounds she has, you're probably lucky she lost your number, texts could go on for years and you'd maybe never meet! Good luck with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'Bart' Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 You sure its not a bot? A fembot? and when your at a low ebb you think 'sod it why bother'. I think this thread has done that to me. Another advantage is the sight of jodhpur-clad totty in riding boots The mention of jodhpurs brings back happy memories of Amy Adams in Night at the Museum II. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austin Allegro Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Take salsa lessons or something a bit clichéd like that, it'll still work. Join a climbing club/tennis club/swimming club etc ad infinitum Or whatever takes your fancy. I knew someone who met his wife at a car rally(OK I thought she was awful, but he seemed happy) Just do stuff and look happy about it, women will show up, they always do. Best advice on here. Choose activities where men are in the minority. Anything 'cultural' or 'literary' will do - choirs, amateur dramatics, book clubs etc. If meeting women is the main objective (it shouldn't be, but let's face it it's one of the main reasons) don't sign up for anythinglong term (like the starring role in a play or something) unless you know you have a number of 'hot leads' worth pursuing in the group. Also - and this is really important - DON'T come on too strong, lech, or corner women in one of these groups - believe me they are all aware that undesirable single men haunt their groups. One poor sod called 'Duncan' used to do this at a literary group I belonged to - so much so that at each function, someone was put on ' Duncan Watch' to tactfully steer him away if he cornered any young girls. Activities where there is a lot of mixed, informal interaction are good - dancing, walking etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffneck Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Well after two months of silence from my 'stalker', she starts sending me the occasional message on POF, which I ignore. She then sent me a text message, at a point where I was feeling rather low because i'd just been rejected by what was the most promsing woman that I have met so far; so against my better judgement I replied to it. What followed was about 4 days of her continuing to ask me a flood of inane questions day and night. I tried to engage with her as an intelligent human being, asking her how things were going for her on POF. She ignored the question so I asked it again, and the following happened: - she has had a profile on POF for over 6 months, but has went on no dates - she says she has went on no dates because guys are only interested in sex, and she's 'not that kinda girl' - this comment was immediatley followed up by a text asking what sort of women I was into in terms of looks - I explained to her that by having no profile description, she was actually putting off men who wanted more than just sex - she accepted this - I then explained that I was a bit cut up about something not working out so I wasn;t interested in pursuing a relationship right now - she then told me that she wan't interested in me any more anyway - then texted a few mins later saying that since we both knew what we wanted we could just meet as friends - then a couple of days of inane texts of her asking me what I was up to at various points in the day - feeling very lonely, I asked her what she was up to on Friday, she was busy - again she continues with the flood of inane messages asking me every little detail about myself - I don't reply to most of them - I genuinely don't have time - I reply to one message, then get another one saying (bear in mind this is at least 4 months since she started stalking me): "So what;s your thoughts on some quick fire get to know you questions?" - I tell her that I don't have time to text my life story to her, and if she wants to get to know me we can meet up for a cofee some time. - She replies with 'yea whatever' and I didn't hear from her again. She's 100% bonkers buddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feed Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Any sort of dance form that requires a partner is a winner. I remember years noting years ago at University when that type of activity was seriously uncool that there was a huge surplus of nice looking girls over blokes in the ballroom dancing society. I expect that applies at all age groups.It is also one of the few activities where you get to handle the goods before buying so to speak without risk of arrest. Of course, it helps if you can dance and do not have two left feet. I’ve danced for a number of years, and at the beginner, intermediate and lower advanced level. Age 25+ there are more men than women. This is across various forms of social and latin&ballroom. Ratios are probably around 60:40 M:W at this level. At the very advanced it’s a different story, but clearly they’re looking for proficient partners and under 25 is female dominated as well, but that shouldn’t be a surprise either. Simple reason, by the time Woman reach 25 – 30, they can either dance as they’ve had plenty of opportunity to learn, or they’re not that interested. Some will want to learn with a partner, but a single (i.e. solo) woman that wants to learn and goes alone, is very rare. For guys it’s different, in that it’s not until around 30, most guys stop caring what other people think. For a beginner lead it’s pretty hard starting mid 30’s without a partner. Practice becomes impossible to schedule and weekend socials a nightmare. I have regular partner now, and wouldn't consider going to a social without one, as I’ve been to socials where I’ve sat on a table with 6 other guys without partners. If you want to join a class to learn and broaden a social circle then fine, but just to meet woman, it’s a bad idea. Occasionally we’ll see a single guy join a class with the express reason of meeting woman. It stands out a mile and they don’t stay long. And Salsa. Well salsa is dead. I know of 3 evening classes and one monthly weekend social that have been cancelled in the last 12-18 months. Main reason is Zumba. The ladies would have gone to a casual salsa class are getting exactly what they want from a Zumba class. Typically they’re cheaper as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Examples of clubs or interests to join....photography, walking, amateur dramatics, learning a language, cooking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
15stiftgasse Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Examples of clubs or interests to join....photography, walking, amateur dramatics, learning a language, cooking. " sprechen Sie Nookie?..............." " parley vous Rumpy Pumpy ?....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloo Loo Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Examples of clubs or interests to join....photography, walking, amateur dramatics, learning a language, cooking. I love winkie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freeholder Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 " sprechen Sie Nookie?..............." " parley vous Rumpy Pumpy ?....." ''donnez vou tete'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thunderbird 900 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Methinks she is telling porkies... Karen Marley, 45, has been a self-confessed serial mistress for the last six years and has dated 50 married men. 'Married men are better trained,' she says. 'They have had all their rough edges sanded off by their wives and know how to behave around a lady. And married men are better in bed.' 'I've learned that a single man in his 40s is single for a reason. Either he has no social etiquette whatsoever or he's a player, just looking for his next wrestle.' Karen is a member of IllicitEncounters.com, the dating site for married people. Women can join for free but men are charged £134 a month to find a mistress having consciously made a decision to have an affair. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2155767/Confessions-serial-mistress-Affairs-50-married-men-past-years-Mr-Right.html#ixzz1xD0hexqf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentstan Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Interesting to see this back on the front page as I was just coming back to give an update. Been on Plenty of Fish for a couple of months, after an initial reaction of the place being a nut house I soon got the rub and worked out the best approach. Met somebody pretty quick and we had a little fling for a few weeks, went a bit too fast for her liking although it was all driven by her and she ended up saying she wasn't ready for relationships. She was 36 and the longest she had been in one before was 5 months, so in future I'm tending to use that as a filter to who I contact. But the sex was good and we had fun so no hard feelings on my part, it was a shame as I was pretty keen on her at the time, but now looking back I'm not so sure so I guess I dodged a bit of a bullet there. Went back on the next day and quickly got some other dates going. Been on a few more all have generally ended up with me staying over for the night. Plenty of time wasters to be fair but you just need to keep plugging away, although at times it can get a bit of a handful, you can have 8-9 on the go at once and nothing come of them one week and the next you have the dates stacked up. Got a really keen one at the moment, possible stalker material though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garybug Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Not wanting to go into the reasons for signing up to this, but anyone used Ellicit Encounters? The price is EXTREMELY steep at a few hundred for a month or so's access - but my profile is getting quite a few messages, and I'm unsure if it's used by toms looking for clients, or bots. Some of the profiles of the senders definitely look like prossies, but a few look legit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Interesting to see this back on the front page as I was just coming back to give an update. Been on Plenty of Fish for a couple of months, after an initial reaction of the place being a nut house I soon got the rub and worked out the best approach. Met somebody pretty quick and we had a little fling for a few weeks, went a bit too fast for her liking although it was all driven by her and she ended up saying she wasn't ready for relationships. She was 36 and the longest she had been in one before was 5 months, so in future I'm tending to use that as a filter to who I contact. But the sex was good and we had fun so no hard feelings on my part, it was a shame as I was pretty keen on her at the time, but now looking back I'm not so sure so I guess I dodged a bit of a bullet there. Went back on the next day and quickly got some other dates going. Been on a few more all have generally ended up with me staying over for the night. Plenty of time wasters to be fair but you just need to keep plugging away, although at times it can get a bit of a handful, you can have 8-9 on the go at once and nothing come of them one week and the next you have the dates stacked up. Got a really keen one at the moment, possible stalker material though. You must be photogenic and/or a male looker then, 'cause the majority of Brit men on PoF report very few dates and just being ignored by every woman they email. Yes happened to me too when I was on there, never got one date out of it, 100s of emails sent Don't have any interest these days in online dating as am abroad but most I know of found it absolutely a waste of time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentstan Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 You must be photogenic and/or a male looker then, 'cause the majority of Brit men on PoF report very few dates and just being ignored by every woman they email. Yes happened to me too when I was on there, never got one date out of it, 100s of emails sent Don't have any interest these days in online dating as am abroad but most I know of found it absolutely a waste of time Well I would never have said I'm that good looking, average, maybe a little better than average in the right light, but after dates I do often get follow up messages that I was "even better" looking than my profile made out. However as that's after then there must be something there in the first place. However I would say i have made an effort while on there, I took a lot of time to make sure my profile was presented in the way I wanted it, it's full of humour (not just the odd shit joke and lol) but presents a good representation of what I'm all about. I get a lot (relatively from what people tell me) of messages from women, I don't have to send messages to them and almost always it's due the profile. How much of that is genuinely to do with the profile or that it makes me easier to approach and message I don't know. For example one thing I had on my profile was that I'm good at origami, later in the profile I put up a joke about every date that month gets a free origami swan, had all sorts of crap about terms and condition must bring own paper and so on. For the week or so it was on there I had 20 or so messages explicitly relating to that, I set up 4 dates and they all brought paper for the swan. Of course it was a joke, a bit of fun but it gave them something to use when messaging me and then it gave me something to refer back to, "so when do you want your swan" and so on. Equally if I do message somebody I will read their profile in detail and message accordingly. I have a feeling that the blokes are as bad as the women most of the time with short and often naff one liners. You need to hook them in and get them to reply, once that part is done you can work your magic. I did get talking to one lady, she messaged me but wasn't my type so nothing doing there, but we chatted about the site, how we had been doing on there and so on. She felt I was very strategic about the whole thing and it surprised me that you wouldn't be. This is another thing I have done, made sure if the conversation isn't leading to a date you get as much out of them as possible before you or they break it off. Often if somebody messages me that I have no interest in meeting I will use them to test stuff out, how early is too early to mention XYZ, what pictures on my profile work/don't work. Of course it could be that I'm really good looking, but I honestly do not for a second believe that is the case or that is the reason I have done OK on there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissy_fit Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Not wanting to go into the reasons for signing up to this, but anyone used Ellicit Encounters? The price is EXTREMELY steep at a few hundred for a month or so's access - but my profile is getting quite a few messages, and I'm unsure if it's used by toms looking for clients, or bots. Some of the profiles of the senders definitely look like prossies, but a few look legit. Surely they don't let huas on there? I'd expect them to police that carefully, because why would anyone pay for a site with huas on when hua sites are free to browse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Well I would never have said I'm that good looking, average, maybe a little better than average in the right light, but after dates I do often get follow up messages that I was "even better" looking than my profile made out. However as that's after then there must be something there in the first place. However I would say i have made an effort while on there, I took a lot of time to make sure my profile was presented in the way I wanted it, it's full of humour (not just the odd shit joke and lol) but presents a good representation of what I'm all about. I get a lot (relatively from what people tell me) of messages from women, I don't have to send messages to them and almost always it's due the profile. How much of that is genuinely to do with the profile or that it makes me easier to approach and message I don't know. For example one thing I had on my profile was that I'm good at origami, later in the profile I put up a joke about every date that month gets a free origami swan, had all sorts of crap about terms and condition must bring own paper and so on. For the week or so it was on there I had 20 or so messages explicitly relating to that, I set up 4 dates and they all brought paper for the swan. Of course it was a joke, a bit of fun but it gave them something to use when messaging me and then it gave me something to refer back to, "so when do you want your swan" and so on. Equally if I do message somebody I will read their profile in detail and message accordingly. I have a feeling that the blokes are as bad as the women most of the time with short and often naff one liners. You need to hook them in and get them to reply, once that part is done you can work your magic. I did get talking to one lady, she messaged me but wasn't my type so nothing doing there, but we chatted about the site, how we had been doing on there and so on. She felt I was very strategic about the whole thing and it surprised me that you wouldn't be. This is another thing I have done, made sure if the conversation isn't leading to a date you get as much out of them as possible before you or they break it off. Often if somebody messages me that I have no interest in meeting I will use them to test stuff out, how early is too early to mention XYZ, what pictures on my profile work/don't work. Of course it could be that I'm really good looking, but I honestly do not for a second believe that is the case or that is the reason I have done OK on there. I've read all your reply above and while doubtless you did an original and humorous profile I can cut to the chase and just tell you 99.9% of the time if they don't feel attracted to the photo(s) they don't read any text, not even the headline, and they click away. This leads me to conclude you either look like you belong on the front cover of GQ/Mens Health/the Top Man catalogue or The women you have attracted from there are not physically in the medium or upper leagues From what you have said in the post immediately above, ie that you got lots of emails, I think it's your outward appearance - you jammy git you were likely far nearer the front end of the queue when the looks were given out and you float their boat plus you have the ability to express individuality once they do read on after the photo. They don't go beyond the photo if it doesn't register in their butterflies-tummy department - so any guys reading this invest time and perhaps a bit of money in some decent photos of yourself for your online dating unless you're a lost cause like yours truly was when I was still in the market (past it now) Here's one for all you male rejects out there like myself, let's rooooock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentstan Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 I've read all your reply above and while doubtless you did an original and humorous profile I can cut to the chase and just tell you 99.9% of the time if they don't feel attracted to the photo(s) they don't read any text, not even the headline, and they click away. Of course and I totally agree 99.9% I'm not unattractive, possibly I'm better looking than I give myself credit for but I'm certainly not Mens Health material. I'd agree get a good shot done, my profile pic is pretty decent and I was careful to pick out decent shots. Some times you do wonder, 3-4 nice pics and then one looking like a total monster, it's only natural to think that's what they normally look like. Having said that many of the women I have met from there are better looking than their profile suggests, one in particular had a number of photos, none of them did her justice at all. As you say if you look crap then you won't get contacted, but neither will you if you get past that initial stage and then sound like a total ******, there are loads of good looking ladies on there that I would never message simply because of the way they present themselves on their profile. However I didn't say the messages were from all super hot ladies, there are a fair few and none of the ones I have been on dates with were anything like unattractive. But that's why for example I got 20+ responses to my origami offer and ended up on 4 dates "directly" as a result, but that seems to be 4 more dates than most get in a week. Do the ground work and you get to pick. I would stick up a picture but, I'm a bit odd about linking accounts on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billfunk Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Beautiful women like you are invariably conceited. Are you any different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Of course and I totally agree 99.9% I'm not unattractive, possibly I'm better looking than I give myself credit for but I'm certainly not Mens Health material. I'd agree get a good shot done, my profile pic is pretty decent and I was careful to pick out decent shots. Some times you do wonder, 3-4 nice pics and then one looking like a total monster, it's only natural to think that's what they normally look like. Having said that many of the women I have met from there are better looking than their profile suggests, one in particular had a number of photos, none of them did her justice at all. As you say if you look crap then you won't get contacted, but neither will you if you get past that initial stage and then sound like a total ******, there are loads of good looking ladies on there that I would never message simply because of the way they present themselves on their profile. However I didn't say the messages were from all super hot ladies, there are a fair few and none of the ones I have been on dates with were anything like unattractive. But that's why for example I got 20+ responses to my origami offer and ended up on 4 dates "directly" as a result, but that seems to be 4 more dates than most get in a week. Do the ground work and you get to pick. I would stick up a picture but, I'm a bit odd about linking accounts on the internet. Definitely don't link your picture, apart from the privacy worries you'll break the HPC or PoF mail servers Anyway, well done and every happiness if you meet someone special, I know it happens there to some! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 Beautiful women like you are invariably conceited. Are you any different? He's a man not a woman! Oh I get what you mean, anyway he sounds fine, normal etc. The good looking women on these sites ignore the average men so it's their choice. I'd have been quite happy to get an average woman, all I attracted were The Munsters who would drop me like a hot brick in seconds if they could get a Silentstan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billfunk Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 He's a man not a woman! Oh I get what you mean, anyway he sounds fine, normal etc. The good looking women on these sites ignore the average men so it's their choice. I'd have been quite happy to get an average woman, all I attracted were The Munsters who would drop me like a hot brick in seconds if they could get a Silentstan No I'm not talking about him I'm talking about what you should say to women so that you get more replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inflating Posted June 11, 2012 Share Posted June 11, 2012 No I'm not talking about him I'm talking about what you should say to women so that you get more replies. LMAO I was having a blonde moment, please excuse that, normal service will be resumed later this evening (good line btw yes, although on POF they don't read the email if they don't like the photo shown next to it or on the email itself) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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