Guest happy? Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 "Originally built" - it was either built or it wasn't - in which case you're buying a field. Acceptable only where a property has been rebuilt. "Comprises of" - what's with comprising: value1, value2, Rant over.
VacantPossession Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 "Originally built" - it was either built or it wasn't - in which case you're buying a field. Acceptable only where a property has been rebuilt."Comprises of" - what's with comprising: value1, value2, Rant over. Tip of the iceberg. Malapropsims, spoonerisms, syntax errors, pre-GCSE grammar errors, appalling spelling and ghastly sentence construction is the exclusive domain of the Estate Agent, Surveyor and even Property Lawyers. Not picking on deslexics here, but on those who favour the grey suit and attempt to give off one image but underneath the satorial elegance are nothing more than wide boys. VP
Dead Spider Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Not picking on deslexics here, VP Lol , good one :-) Reminds me of when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat .
miko Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 lol, Noticed on a local agent's web site under the headings of some of the property's a banner saying KEEN TO SELL . Correct me if I am wrong but surely if a buyer was not keen to sell they would not put their property in the estate agents . Or is it a case that the other property's on the site are only there for a laugh.
DementedTuna Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Recently saw "in a sort after location" on one ad. It's quite clear that you don't need any qualifications to become an estate agent, most of them became one after failing at what they really wanted to do in life. I might start up my own one, and hire the local chavs to smash up people's houses if they don't lower the asking price. CHAV & CO. - Fookin' proper-eees, innit!
bimyo Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 Tip of the iceberg. Malapropsims, spoonerisms, syntax errors, pre-GCSE grammar errors, appalling spelling and ghastly sentence construction is the exclusive domain of the Estate Agent, Surveyor and even Property Lawyers. Not picking on deslexics here, but on those who favour the grey suit and attempt to give off one image but underneath the satorial elegance are nothing more than wide boys.VP I'm glad it's not just me being a grammar Nazi. I've always wondered how they build up the trust to get someone to spend 200k using semi-literate drivel.
darwin Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I already posted this mess on Anecdotals but it's so bad it might be worth repeating. Incredibly, they actually managed to spell "accommodation" correctly! I didn't think EA's had any surprises left - this lot take the frickin' biscuit. Found on Rightmove: Link 1 bedroom apartment for sale, Shepherd's Bush, England We pleas to interduce this property which located within easy access to main transport. The accommodation compriese one bedroom ,spacious reception room,fitted kitchen,bathroom,central heating. Link 2 bedroom apartment for sale, Shepherd's Bush, England There are 5% discount from the asking price. We like to pressnt this two bedroom falt ,spacious reception room,fitted kitching, bathroom,central heating . Link 3 bedroom apartment for sale, Shepherd's Bush, England Ther are 5% discount from the asking price. Well presented three bedroom flat.Newlly docrted kitching leadingonto reception. The propety facing south-west garden.
RichB Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Perhaps its simply to get around trading standards?
Nelly Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I hate 'new instruction' And 'we are pleased to offer'...........who gives a flying fuk if they are pleased?
pablopatito Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 I got an e-mail off an estate agent today that reads "We believe now is the perfect time to buy your new property and we have some fantastic properties on the market with great prices to match! Many of these properties are in a position to look at offers" Now I know a salesman needs to be positive, but even so, "perfect time" seems to be over-egging it somewhat. And WTF does "in a postition to look at offers" mean? Its been said a million times before on HPC.co.uk but I'll say it again "Just drop the effing price, its not rocket science!"
Simon_Trinity Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 (edited) My favourite ever is for a house down the road which reads, "the property requires some updating and the asking price is refective as such", which is particularly beautiful because propertybee reveals that it used to read "...the asking price reflects this" and some t1t estate agent obviously decided the phrasing wasn't sufficiently obtuse so changed it to "...reflective as such". I cannot think of any other situation in which this phrase could possibly be used*. *In our opinion Edited October 9, 2008 by Simon_Trinity
Mr. Miyagi Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 My personnal fav is an agent near me using the phrase "Priced to sell" Complete oxymoron, why else would it be priced if it wasent for sale.....
symo Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 My personnal fav is an agent near me using the phrase "Priced to sell" Complete oxymoron, why else would it be priced if it wasent for sale..... Thus implying all his other prices are not there for that! Also implying that it needs to be sold or the bank will be repossessing soon.
housespider Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Check this one out - It is one of the most stomach churning property details I have ever read. I have selected some of my 'favourite' bits but will be happy to share the whole thing should you wish but I must warn you, you will need a very strong stomach....... Just like your favourite Chanel suit this house fits like a second skin. Confident and natural, it just feels right. Think Barnsley House meets Far from the Madding Crowd. step inside the front door and you feel the worries and strains of the day just slip away a lush new lawn has been laid which has everyone fighting over who’s going to cut the grass
Simon_Trinity Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 (edited) My personnal fav is an agent near me using the phrase "Priced to sell" Complete oxymoron, why else would it be priced if it wasent for sale..... My ex-flat mate had a real bee in his bonnet about that phrase and hence once listed his car in Loot for much more than it was worth as "priced to amuse at...". And there's a few asking prices round here which certainly amuse me. Edited October 9, 2008 by Simon_Trinity
corevalue Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 "plain brick exteriors with Georgian fenestration and a minimally neo-Classic entrance"
BROF Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 referring to houses and flats as 'property' has always royally p*ssed me off. its a house ffs! 'interesting aspects' runs a close second
Mr. Miyagi Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Check this one out - It is one of the most stomach churning property details I have ever read. I have selected some of my 'favourite' bits but will be happy to share the whole thing should you wish but I must warn you, you will need a very strong stomach.......Just like your favourite Chanel suit this house fits like a second skin. Confident and natural, it just feels right. Think Barnsley House meets Far from the Madding Crowd. step inside the front door and you feel the worries and strains of the day just slip away a lush new lawn has been laid which has everyone fighting over who’s going to cut the grass That made my LOL
housespider Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 That made my LOL This particular estate agent really winds me up, this is typical of how they describe all the properties they have on their books! Whoever writes them up is obviously a frustrated fiction writer!!
thecrashingisles Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 "Rarely available" - I've seen that one on properties that have been on the market for over a year. "A credit to its owner"
Mr Tall Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 There's a sign up in our local EA - "Now is the perfect time to buy - before the market shows signs of recovery", or some such drivel. Makes me laugh every time I see it
sparkle-space Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 One that had me chuckling was the description of a newbuild as a "muse house"... maybe they were just musing about selling it, not actually selling it - but if an estate agent doesn't know how to spell the different types of houses then as someone said earlier, how can they expect us to trust them with large amounts of money.... oh. and this is the estate agent that loves to put up signs saying "sold quickly"! so what do they do with all the other houses on their books - sell them slowly??
renterbob Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 "Rarely available" - I've seen that one on properties that have been on the market for over a year."A credit to its owner" Pretty good, but we can do better can't we? I'd love to hear an EA say 'oh, no, please stop. Not the crow bar sir, oh sir, please N-O!. (loud thud) Oh my God, I don't want to die'.
housespider Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 "Rarely available" - I've seen that one on properties that have been on the market for over a year."A credit to its owner" Or more ironic still; "in a very sought after road/street". Especially when they have been on the market for the best part of a year - Not so sought after afterall eh?!!
thecrashingisles Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Or more ironic still; "in a very sought after road/street". Especially when they have been on the market for the best part of a year - Not so sought after afterall eh?!! In genuine EA language it would be, "in a very sought sort after road/street"
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