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Frank Hovis

When You Hiit Your 40S

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It's in Telegraph Women but it think it's fairly gender neutral.

My head was nodding a lot at this but really jarred at some things (other than fancying Take That obviously, now that isn't gender neutral):

2. Aches and pains become A Thing.

Every time I move my neck or wrist after a period of inactivity, I hear the sound of someone gently palpating a bag of nachos. Noisier still is the entirely needless grunt I expel as I hoist myself from a chair after dinner. I now need reading specs which I clean by leaning over an open dishwasher door and waiting for them to cloud up.

Pure good fortune but no; for which I am very grateful.

And:

8. Death becomes a pre-occupation

Not in some nihilistic or maudlin way – I think about death every day simply because I am more accepting of its inevitability. This is in some ways a positive thing. I’m much less interested in having “stuff” than I was when I was younger. By contrast, I now collect happy memories obsessively, take time out to enjoy my loved ones and actively plan things I want to do instead of putting them off. Less maturely, I become irrationally furious at all the obnoxious people allowed to live while my loved ones are stolen by cancer.

Really? I don't think I'm alone in not being concerned by death in my 40s; maybe she's a goth.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11984031/The-Secret-Life-of-40-year-olds.html

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Really? I don't think I'm alone in not being concerned by death in my 40s; maybe she's a goth.

Just wait until you're nearly 60...

Every time I read the obit of someone younger than me who has died, I feel that my surviving is an achievement...

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The compulsion to make a noise when exerting any physical effort.

Viewing young children as if they are an alien species.

Wondering "who watches that" when flipping through what's on TV.

Thinking that every little twinge or pulsing sensation might be a sign of something ominous.

Failing eyesight.

Looking down into the bowl when sitting on the toilet to make sure there's nothing there that shouldn't be.

Thinking that the memories of yourself in your teens are actually someone else's memories.

Swearing at the television, especially when politicians are on.

Repeatedly using the word "unbelievable".

Letting the fast Audi past you on a back road instead of joining in.

Coming home from the shops with not very much since everything that you want is really expensive, that being the reason why you don't already have it.

Wondering why someone would pay £50 for a T-shirt.

Musing how many years there are to go before you develop the desire to understand opera.

Making a bucket list.

Worrying about the outstanding things on said bucket list.

Thinking that certain things are overpriced ignoring the effect of inflation.

Taking a deeper interest in the wellbeing of friends and people around you.

--

OK, how much of that lot is just me.. do your worst :)

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Struggling to follow a TV programme or film because you find yourself completely preoccupied with the quest to remember what else the actor was in.

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Mr Depardeui sums up how I feel.

Explaining the need for his dangerous drinking habit, Depardieu writes, “I’m obsessed with the racket in my body, the beating of my heart, the gurgling of my intestines, my joints cracking. . . . It’s become a phobia to the point that if I’m alone in a hotel, I must drink so as not to hear it, so as not to go mad from it. I can’t get to sleep unless I am dead drunk.”

http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2014/10/gerard-depardieu-grave-robber-male-escort

Mind, i've been paranoid about getting cancer since I was 20. Even got them to shove a camera up my anus. Apparently its in tip top condition.

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Just giving up competing.

Its funny how risk aversion increases with age. When I was 19 or 20, id get pissed in town, park the car right outside the bar/pub/club (peer pressure/normalization I guess. Everyone else seemed to drive pissed. General rule was if you forgot where you left the car you were probably too drunk to drive), drive home. Gradually, as I passed through my 20s, id get more worried about police so started parking round the corner, then a few streets away, then in a surburban street, then on the edge of town. Nowadays I darent drink more than a pint or two and drive and can't even relate to how I was back then. Idiotic, but I guess most people are at that age. Well, they were around here, anyway.

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I didn't really drink when I was younger. So when I did, I'd invariably get pi**ed very quickly.

I can remember the various shop doorways and friends' patios that I decorated.

The time one of my mates opened the car door at 60mph and puked, some of which must have caught the windscreen of the following car, which became rather aggrieved with us. But back then I could drive like a nutcase and outrun a surprising number of things in my MG Metro.

Whereas now I can surprise myself with just how much I can drink. Time for another Bacardi and Coke..

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You never get pulled over by the plod. :blink:

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You start to resemble one of your parents.

Not caring what others think.

You have the odd ache or pain which appears during autumn/winter/damp cold days and doesn't go away.

Generally comfortable in own skin.

Health is something you pay attention to.

At work, your role is slowly becoming that of a teacher. Or at least you are no longer the 20 something eager to turn everything upside down and get it done yesterday.

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Struggling to follow a TV programme or film because you find yourself completely preoccupied with the quest to remember what else the actor was in.

Hmm, I pause it. Grab my tablet and see if the actress has done anything 'artistic' - you're as young as the naked images you at on the net.

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Its funny how risk aversion increases with age. When I was 19 or 20, id get pissed in town, park the car right outside the bar/pub/club (peer pressure/normalization I guess. Everyone else seemed to drive pissed. General rule was if you forgot where you left the car you were probably too drunk to drive), drive home. Gradually, as I passed through my 20s, id get more worried about police so started parking round the corner, then a few streets away, then in a surburban street, then on the edge of town. Nowadays I darent drink more than a pint or two and drive and can't even relate to how I was back then. Idiotic, but I guess most people are at that age. Well, they were around here, anyway.

How about that! For some reason I thought you were in your late 20s or 30s.

I'm 54 and everyone I knew, including my one-time police woman girlfriend used to drive around over the limit. As most of my motors were boy racer type cars, I was frequently stopped by the police when I was over the limit, often quite a bit over the limit, and it seemed as long as you were polite and coherent they'd let you go. Even when there was something wrong with your car.

It may be that I have some super power I'm not aware of, and I was subconsciously beaming a sort of "these are not the droids you are looking for" message into the coppers minds. But I doubt it.

I made the mistake of telling this to a mate (from work) and his wife who were 10 years younger than me when I was a bit pissed, and they were horrified!

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I think the drink driving thing is more symptomatic of the era than something risk aversion related.

When I was 18 or so, living in the country, everyone drove pissed after the pub. The rule of thumb was that you just stayed on the back roads and off the nearby motorway.

The biggest change I've noticed since entering my forties has been children related. They've sort of passed from being Mrs JTB's domain in a childcare role to mine in a financial and life planning role. I suppose I was a hands-off, old school (Victorian school, actually) father in the early years - read a bed time story, kissed them goodnight, and took them fishing occasionally being about the limit of my interaction and worry. Suddenly, I felt myself on the hook for career planning, university funding, responsible for ensuring "good grades", etc.

Apologies for the anachronistic gender roles at JTB towers!

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Aches and pains are appearing (I'm not far off my 40s). The only preoccupation with death is hoping that it arrives soon (preferably for most of the rest of the human race, but I'd settle for me just to get away from the rest of them). The general dislike of a lot of the things around me and annoyance at people is something I've had for years, it's to do with having (sort of) functioning eyes and a functioning brain.

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I feel much better in most ways in my 40s than I did in my 20s.

Mild aches and pains - yes, had them since mid 30s or so, but daily exercise keeps them at bay.

Preoccupation with death - not really, more an acceptance of its inevitability, and a reminder that I should live each day to the full. I've learnt to live in the moment and have accepted that I'm just a part of the endless cycle of death and rebirth, rather than a special snowflake deserving of personal immortality. Death is just a drop returning to the ocean, etc etc.

Learning to live without sexual love has been a bit difficult, in fact it's required quite a lot of effort to accept I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. It's not so difficult though when you look back at all the emotional energy, time and money spent in the fruitless search for that 'special someone' and quite liberating really when you realise she doesn't exist.

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Learning to live without sexual love has been a bit difficult, in fact it's required quite a lot of effort to accept I'll probably be single for the rest of my life. It's not so difficult though when you look back at all the emotional energy, time and money spent in the fruitless search for that 'special someone' and quite liberating really when you realise she doesn't exist.

Of course she exists. And she's lonely. We're just all too terrified of social transgression to get to know each other.

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Of course she exists. And she's lonely. We're just all too terrified of social transgression to get to know each other.

Haha...the only problem is I don't really want to move to Thailand or the Phillipines to find her...

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How about that! For some reason I thought you were in your late 20s or 30s.

I'm 54 and everyone I knew, including my one-time police woman girlfriend used to drive around over the limit. As most of my motors were boy racer type cars, I was frequently stopped by the police when I was over the limit, often quite a bit over the limit, and it seemed as long as you were polite and coherent they'd let you go. Even when there was something wrong with your car.

It may be that I have some super power I'm not aware of, and I was subconsciously beaming a sort of "these are not the droids you are looking for" message into the coppers minds. But I doubt it.

I made the mistake of telling this to a mate (from work) and his wife who were 10 years younger than me when I was a bit pissed, and they were horrified!

32...so maybe I shouldn't be on this thread :wacko:

Yes, I did get stopped a couple of times. Breathalyzed after 6 or 7 pints and passed. Not sure if because my license was clean they just decided to let it go, whether their device wasnt working, or whether I just have a constitution that allows me to drink a lot without getting 'drunk'. I've dropped a couple of stone since then and seem to get inebriated more easily. Ironically being breathalyzed and passing, rather than being a wake up call it emboldened me even more for a year or two.

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