libspero Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Go work in the media and change it. Stop paying for and paying attention to the BBC. Edit: are you seriously saying that most of the blokes you know are victims of domestic abuse? Complaining on here is probably a fruitless exercise, but his point is nevertheless valid. There is a bias towards female victims, both in the media and in terms of funding (your suggestion of setting up a shelter.. good luck convincing TPTB to give you funding for that). It's all symptomatic of politicians jumping on a populist cause (rape, victims of domestic abuse etc) without actually thinking it through properly to see if it is fair or sensible. With rape they just seem to have taken away any requirement to prove a crime was committed (unfair), with domestic abuse they just assume women are and will always be the victims. Nonsense. But it is a popular misconception so it has misguided popular support therefore it's legislatable (spelling?!). Personally I blame Theresa May. For everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 buy cotton wool shares....its for the children dontchaknow...so was the war in Afghanistan Yes.....children are suffering all over the world......when you have got nothing to lose you lose it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormymonday_2011 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Re. domestic violence, I believe research indicates that at least 40% of violence is initiated by women, that violent relationships are usually reciprocal and the such women typically cycle from one violent relationship to another. Erin Pizzey, pioneer of Women's Refuges eventually realised this, became disaffected, and wrote a book "Prone to Violence", for which she has been excommunicated and attacked by the Feminist movement. The writers of Father Ted nailed that one. Shame most comics are not that perceptive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitevanman Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Men aren't generally victims of DV because we don't like being victims. I know it's a generalisation but women are much more likely to play on their victim status. Still, women are less violent than men. You only have to look a levels of violence between lesbian couples to see that.... oh.... it turns out they're the most violent relationships of all, with male homosexual relations being the least. I'm sure its just a statistic blip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 The reason it is considered 'funny' is because it is fantasy. A great thought, an imagination that people think ridiculous. Does that need explaining? Yes, I don't get the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knock out johnny Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 You'd imagine wrong. Getting in between a violent man and his partner is asking for a good hiding off the both of them - particularly if booze is involved. You intervene at your peril I can vouch of the 2nd part of that video when my violent ex literally tore the shirt I was wearing off me on a sunny summer afternoon in Greenwich as I attempted to walk away and withdraw from her aggression. Sweet FA from anyone, I'm glad they found it amusing though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debtlessmanc Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Getting in between a violent man and his partner is asking for a good hiding off the both of them - particularly if booze is involved. You intervene at your peril I can vouch of the 2nd part of that video when my violent ex literally tore the shirt I was wearing off me on a sunny summer afternoon in Greenwich as I attempted to walk away and withdraw from her aggression. Sweet FA from anyone, I'm glad they found it amusing though Mate of mine tried to intervene in a domestic (man hitting women) got knocked unconscious and dislocated jaw. Police turn up arrest man. Women refuses to press charges and his description of attacker didn't match ( he was knocked unconscious) the guy walked... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Go work in the media and change it. Stop paying for and paying attention to the BBC. Edit: are you seriously saying that most of the blokes you know are victims of domestic abuse? Er no thanks !! But no I don't really have a 'proper' job anyway I also never said that most of the blokes I know are victims of domestic abuse. However - a lot more will be than you assume. Its not exactly something most blokes would want to tell their pals - never mind a complete stranger like the police. Anyway - if you go by recent guidelines on what domestic 'abuse' consists of - yes I imagine most blokes in this country in a relationship are technically 'victims'. Coercion, control , mental and physical Abuse ? Can't imagine many blokes never get any if that from their other half. Sane goes for burds most probably. Only difference is the number reported to the police. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Go work in the media and change it. Stop paying for and paying attention to the BBC. Edit: are you seriously saying that most of the blokes you know are victims of domestic abuse? You seem to think that direct personal action is the only valid course on any issue, and no-one should discuss it here instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I moved out of the ex's house after she started physically attacking me instead of just the verbal stuff...nothing that would have done much damage but that's not what I signed up for I did actually call the police...not regarding assault but because she was threatening to harm herself while telling me to f off. Of course, I don't tend to think of this as domestic violence...blokes are trained a different way in their thinking. I believe she is currently reading 'The War on Women', poor love She gets very upset when people don't understand the systematic abuse and victimisation that women have to put up with! P ....I think they call it codependency..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 If you're being bullied go to ccc's shelter. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I've never been shot at in the US, does that mean I can't hold an opinion on, or discuss gun violence in the US? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Yes indeed Winkie...a lesson I thought I knew well from that funny handshake place Cosa Nostra! Always plenty more learning to be done... P Yes, always learning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Just saw a 2 minute piece on the news regarding a new 'safe house' being opened in Redcar specifically for over 40's women victims of domestic abuse. The word 'women' was used about 20 times. It was honestly like there was some sort of brainwashing going on !! One victim was talking about years of 'coersion and control' by her partner - and feeling like he needed to be in control of everything she did. Don't know about anyone else - but half the blokes I know suffer this on a daily basis !! If you look at the stats - its about 20% of claims to the police are from blokes. I truly believe that in reality - men suffered domestic abuse a lot more than women. Both mentally and physically. For a women to go to the police if a victim must be a huge thing - however for a man to do the same ? A whole different level. I just find the whole one sided media view on this pretty disgusting. A few token comments that 'oh and men can also be victims too' is about all the likes of the BBC bother with. Some people are just born victims. Male or female, if you see one, just run. They will make your like Hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I also heard this on the radio. it's interesting in the context of another segment of the show where a woman was talking about training her husband 'like a dog', by using a clicker every time he did something right. This is funny, apparently. You only have to reverse the sexes to see how unfunny it really is. Er apparently, I'm not trainable and just do what I like, er, a bit like a cat. I like women to be the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Some people are just born victims. Male or female, if you see one, just run. They will make your like Hell. Run for your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Bear Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Some people are just born victims. Male or female, if you see one, just run. They will make your like Hell. I will never forget a 60-ish woman who used to come into the library where I worked. She used to take out several audio books, never print, and one day she had a friend with her who asked why she only took audio books. She said she couldn't take proper books. She had to listen while doing housework or ironing, because, 'He doesn't like me reading.' I was almost speechless. I wanted to shake her and yell, 'Why don't you just tell him to sod off, the pathetic little man?' Some people do seem to get some sort of perverse satisfaction out of making martyrs of themselves. I have known one or two, though it took me years to work out that although they moaned, when it came down to it they didn't actually want to change. Mind you I'm not talking violence here - just the sort of person who makes herself into a complete doormat and then wonders why people are wiping their feet on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Lots of men do exactly the same regarding being a doormat. I am a bloke so clearly I have a view from one side - however I see way more doormat blokes doing things they don't want to than females. Would others agree ? Just look at those "home or away" buying holiday programmes on channel 4. Serious - watch a few and see how often the blokes preferred location gets the thumbs up. From my viewing - lucky if it's even 5%. So either these blokes just give in to their demanding wives or......burds are nearly always right. Discuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I was actually being quite serious for once, and didn't mention badgers! If there's a hint of "dodgieness" about a person, you probably right about it. If you can't detect the "dodgy", you will be a victim! Do not be a victim. Victims get angry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turned Out Nice Again Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I will never forget a 60-ish woman who used to come into the library where I worked. She used to take out several audio books, never print, and one day she had a friend with her who asked why she only took audio books. She said she couldn't take proper books. She had to listen while doing housework or ironing, because, 'He doesn't like me reading.' I was almost speechless. I wanted to shake her and yell, 'Why don't you just tell him to sod off, the pathetic little man?' Some people do seem to get some sort of perverse satisfaction out of making martyrs of themselves. I have known one or two, though it took me years to work out that although they moaned, when it came down to it they didn't actually want to change. Mind you I'm not talking violence here - just the sort of person who makes herself into a complete doormat and then wonders why people are wiping their feet on her. The first game that Eric Berne introduces in Games People Play is “If It Weren’t For You”or IWFY. Berne uses this game as an example to explain all types of games. Berne writes: Mrs. White complained that her husband severely restricted her social activities, so that she had never learned to dance. Due to changes in her attitude brought about psychiatric treatment, her husband became less sure of himself and more indulgent. Mrs. White was then free to enlarge the scope of her activities. She signed up for dancing classes, and then discovered to her despair that she had a morbid hear of dance floors and had to abandon this project. This unfortunate adventure, along with similar ones, laid out some important aspects of her marriage. Out of her many suitors, she had picked a domineering man for a husband. She was then in a position to complain that she could do all sorts of things “it if weren’t for you.” Many of her woman friends had domineering husbands, and when they met for their morning coffee, they spent a good deal of time playing “If It Weren’t For Him.” As it turned out, however, contrary to her complaints, her husband was performing a very real service for her by forbidding her to do something she was deeply afraid of, and by preventing her, in fact, from even becoming aware of her fears. This was one reason… [she] had chosen such a husband. His prohibitions and her complaints frequently led to quarrels, so that their sex life was seriously impaired. She and her husband had little in common besides their household worries and the children, so that their quarrels stood out as important events. http://www.ericberne.com/games-people-play/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Hmm. Interesting. Was listening to a short podcast the other day re BBC's 'The History Ideas'. They do a week of short podcasts from different people per topic and this week was on 'beauty'. The item under discussion on this particular day was whether all opinions on beauty were equal. There are many, perhaps led by Hulme, who considered there to be a 'standard' for 'taste' and that with hard work, concentration, study and experience one judge's opinion could be considered 'better' and whose tastes could be considered more refined than another. After all, you wouldn't go to an untrained doctor for his opinion would you? So, on that score, given your lack of any sort experience, I guess your opinion (on this matter) doesn't count for very much. (and for that matter, neither does mine) Are you going to put the punchline in a separate post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEATH Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Relationships are unhealthy and are to be avoided. I am staying well away from the hybrid creation business too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Are you going to put the punchline in a separate post? Punching lions is more dangerous than punching domestics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Punching lions is more dangerous than punching domestics. *badoom tish* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Lots of men do exactly the same regarding being a doormat. I am a bloke so clearly I have a view from one side - however I see way more doormat blokes doing things they don't want to than females. Would others agree ? Just look at those "home or away" buying holiday programmes on channel 4. Serious - watch a few and see how often the blokes preferred location gets the thumbs up. From my viewing - lucky if it's even 5%. So either these blokes just give in to their demanding wives or......burds are nearly always right. Discuss The more more you stand up to a women, the more they will stand up to you. Be a "doormat" and you have lost big time! Obviously I am not applauding "domestic violence" and I have seen very little of that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StainlessSteelCat Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Run for your life. Run from your wife! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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