happy_renting Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 So I should put a loud bell on my black Wolseley, and chase Jags? You don't have a Wolsely, you fibber! And never chase white jags, they always, ALWAYS, go over cliffs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
okaycuckoo Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 You've overlooked the real piece of wisdom from Desree's renowned treatise on life: I don't want to see a ghost, It's a sight that I fear most I'd rather have a piece of toast There are nine million bicycles in Beijing That's a Fact, it's a thing we can't deny Like the fact that I will love you till I die. Katie Melua. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Morrissey, Everyday is like Sunday "Trudging slowly over wet sand Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen" Marky Mark & Prince Ital Joe, Life in the Streets "I know what you're all thinking. This is some more of that Janet Jackson type of shit" Eminem "Who put my music on the internet?" George Michael "I'd be surprised if I Want Your Sex isn't a number One" [it got to #2] Happy Mondays, Step On "You know I'm twisting the melon, man" Alan Partridge "God created Adam and Eve. He didn't create Adam and Steve" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Further points: I am delighted to say, being sans TV, that I had no idea who Fearne Cotton is. She's like a fat version of Gloria Hunniford, if that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 She's like a fat version of Gloria Hunniford, if that helps. Errr... no. That's Venessa Phelps, isn't it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Morrissey, Everyday is like Sunday "Trudging slowly over wet sand Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen" What's wrong with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendy Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 'No more boom and bust' Gordon Broon. Politikz is showbiz, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The XYY Man Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 We all celebrate Kant, Wittgenstein, Descartes, Russell, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, and the other intellectual giants that have shaped human culture and wisdom. But, right under our noses, are another, unrecognised source of wisdom, pushing forward the frontiers of humanity's understanding of the world and providing the moral, intellectual and analytical insight into all that is around us. It is time for a thread so that their gems of wisdom shall not go forgotten and unappreciated: Everything Sid Waddell ever said... “Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow.” “Jockey Wilson . . . What an athlete.” “That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!” “He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed” “Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a waterbuffalo with a pea-shooter” “The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them” “Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.” “It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline” “Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out” “His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry ch.affinch” “That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.” “It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia.” “His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna.” “He's as cool as a prized marrow!” “Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.” “He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.” “The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome” “His face is sagging with tension.” “The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.” “He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.” “That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank” “As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here.” “He is as slick as minestrone soup” “There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.” “The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!” “This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.” “John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians” “When I see Steve Davis I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorceror” “By the time of the final on Sunday he should be fit to burst!” “There's only one word for that - magic darts!” “Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!” “I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow” “Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles” “Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.” “If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie's and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other” “When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27.” “Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex.” “If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home.” “He's playing out of his pie crust.” “They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!” “Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.” “There's no one quicker than these two tungsten tossers... ” “Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas Bobby George is like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.” “He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league” “Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!” “The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu.” “Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!“ He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory.” “Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis...!!!" XYY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Everything Sid Waddell ever said... “Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow.” “Jockey Wilson . . . What an athlete.” “That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!” “He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed” “Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a waterbuffalo with a pea-shooter” “The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them” “Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.” “It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline” “Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out” “His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry ch.affinch” “That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.” “It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia.” “His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna.” “He's as cool as a prized marrow!” “Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.” “He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.” “The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome” “His face is sagging with tension.” “The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board.” “He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.” “That's like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank” “As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here.” “He is as slick as minestrone soup” “There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.” “The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!” “This lad has more checkouts than Tescos.” “John Lowe is striding out like Alexander the Great conquering the Persians” “When I see Steve Davis I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorceror” “By the time of the final on Sunday he should be fit to burst!” “There's only one word for that - magic darts!” “Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!” “I don't know what he's had for breakfast but Taylor knocked the Snap, Crackle and Pop outta Bristow” “Even Hypotenuse would have trouble working out these angles” “Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.” “If you're round your auntie's tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie's and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other” “When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow's only 27.” “Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex.” “If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home.” “He's playing out of his pie crust.” “They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!” “Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.” “There's no one quicker than these two tungsten tossers... ” “Look at him as he takes his stance, like he has been sculptured, whereas Bobby George is like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.” “He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league” “Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!” “The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu.” “Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!“ He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory.” “Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis...!!!" XYY WTF does that guy smoke? It has to be tongue-in-cheek, surely...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 "The mountains are used to the snow" Greek marital proverb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diver Dan Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 'No more boom and bust' Gordon Broon. Politikz is showbiz, right? He also promised a future free-for-all or something else equally demented. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Battenberg Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 "I love blinking, I do" Helen Adams, Big Brother 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motch Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 There are nine million bicycles in Beijing That's a Fact, it's a thing we can't deny Like the fact that I will love you till I die. Katie Melua. when that song was played a bit on the radio at work, when it first came out, i'd sing, there are nine hundred bicycles in Bathside, and most of them nicked. (small rough and ready part of a town near me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motch Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I like "every dog has his day" - from a few random Tour de France domestigue riders who have the odd unexpected stage win over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eight Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 He also promised a future free-for-all or something else equally demented. It was actually "A future fair for all". Conjured up images of zero gravity roller coasters and Laser Quest with real lasers. To me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 It was actually "A future fair for all". Conjured up images of zero gravity roller coasters and Laser Quest with real lasers. To me anyway. He promised us zero gravity and lasers, we got ZIRP and losers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 What's wrong with that? It just makes me giggle. Especially since the song is straight out of the catalogue of "music to slit your wrists to". Though to qualify, I regard him as talented and actually that song has a strangely endearing haunting quality to it. Have we done Prince Philip's quotes yet.. http://www.mirror.co...live-65-1445185 6 After accepting a conservation award in Thailand in 1991: "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species." 16 To Atul Patel at reception for influential Indians, 2009: "There's a lot of your family in tonight." 17 Peering at a fuse box in a Scottish factory, he said: "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys." 18 To Lockerbie residents after plane bombing, 1993: "People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle 25 To a woman solicitor, 1987: "I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit." 44 "I'd like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family." 1967. 55 At a Scottish fish farm: "Oh! You're the people ruining the rivers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little fish Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Adding to Battenburgs introduction of Helen Adams, I'll add Paul Clarke BB2 who was Helens partner and responsible for one of the most cringe worthy chat-ups ever, declaring that he 'lived his adult life like an international rock star.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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