Isambard Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Bit of a ramble here but basically I am separated from my wife with the divorce coming through next year sometime. I am not 39 not young but not old. What actually is romance? I think I know what most women define it as - Someone who books a 5 star hotel and does the business, or someone who does a £150 meal and also does the former. What actually is romance? I actually don't know. Cooking a meal at home a nice meal - thats romance for me. Now i am not tight I'd like to think myself a gentleman and generous. I am thinking of going on dates now with other women, but i just cannot be arsed going to a pretentious restaurant to talk utter ******** all night. My ideal 'date' would be going to a gig, out with friends in a country pub something like this. Something where there isn't the pressure of the 2 of you trying to eat spaghetti lobster tidily. Maybe I need to change my outlook, maybe I am a grumpy old man, I have no idea. I think womens idea of romance is a flawed action IT CANNOT BE REPEATED throughout the relationship, it fades then you become friends or maybe not I don't know. In fact I don't know a lot about women I've decided, actually a lot less than I thought. Do men like this sort of stuff? Its an artificial situation, I also feel deep down if I do want a lovely girl of which I am sure there are lots of - I to do all of the above. Anyone feel my pain.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spyguy Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Me? Getting a girls pants off for the first time. Ive neve done the flowers thing. Im ok going out for food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Men should like engines and power tools. Gotta say a woman walked out on me when I was 40 or so. No hate, no fights, she just wanted out. I guess it's like a job! I hired the van and drove, and she paid the fuel. I never heard from her again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isambard Posted November 7, 2016 Author Share Posted November 7, 2016 I am more interested in the minds of women. Its why so many rich men have fit birds even in the PC world of ours. They love it. In General - I would love to have a post from a girl on this subject. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 All women are different as are men......test the water, check understanding, try before you buy......only fools rush in. One consolation is older = wiser, so are in more of a position of knowing what you want and what you definitely don't want.....not every woman or man for that matter is into that mushy romance thing....true love requires no flashy, extravagant, expensive proof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEATH Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Women want what they can't have and if they get it then they don't want it anymore. I think they want a man who is in control, who does most of what they want but has the final say. Says the drunk single one night stand debauched man of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 2 minutes ago, winkie said: All women are different as are men......test the water, check understanding, try before you buy......only fools rush in. One consolation is older = wiser, so are in more of a position of knowing what you want and what you definitely don't want.....not every woman or man for that matter is into that mushy romance thing....true love requires no flashy, extravagant, expensive proof. Now he has a post from a "Y gene deprived" individual. Yes women are like second hand cars! Check the oil water, and does it start? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 4 minutes ago, MrPin said: Now he has a post from a "Y gene deprived" individual. Yes women are like second hand cars! Check the oil water, and does it start? Makes sense....cut out on the four star valeting, mats and flaps and pine tree freshener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 1 minute ago, winkie said: Makes sense....cut out on the four star valeting, mats and flaps and pine tree freshener. If women were as simple as cars, I would be a stud. Unfortunately, a lot of women think that men are as simple as cars. Me? I just let them think it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeDavola Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 9 minutes ago, DEATH said: I think they want a man who is in control, who does most of what they want but has the final say. Change 'do most of what they want' to 'is most of what they want'. The blokes I know who have went out of their way to do things to impress their wives/gf's don't tend to be the ones in the happiest relationships. The ones in the happiest relationships are guys who are clearly successful, quite high status (or act like it) and are very respected by their peers/social group. Expensive flowers and restaurants don't make a man more attractive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeDavola Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Oh and I'm deeply cynical about the whole 'big romantic gesture', thing. It seems a bit grovel-ly to me, what really matters is how the two of you treat each other day to day, and no fancy restaurant or 20 grand wedding is going to fix that. As I've said before, my mate who spent the most money on his now wife, literally thousands per year when they were dating and then over 20 grand on a wedding, has a completely sexless marriage. It was sexless even before they got married. Throwing money at the problem didn't help it, I suspect it made him less attractive to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeDavola Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 46 minutes ago, Isambard said: Anyone feel my pain.... Read these books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011/dp/1460981731/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478551624&sr=8-1&keywords=athol+kay https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical-Creating/dp/149045151X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1478551624&sr=8-2&keywords=athol+kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 I have a few things to say, boys: Be honest. Make her laugh. Listen (or appear to do so, convincingly!) And from my personal viewpoint, be intelligent and treat her as if she was (even if she isn't). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bossybabe said: I have a few things to say, boys: Be honest. Make her laugh. Listen (or appear to do so, convincingly!) And from my personal viewpoint, be intelligent and treat her as if she was (even if she isn't). If she is intelligent, "appearing" to listen won't work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChewingGrass Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 9 minutes ago, MrPin said: If she is intelligent, "appearing" to listen won't work! There is an art to appearing to listen and it takes about 20-30 years to learn it. Like most things its little and often for the best results as you don't want to be too intense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 Most of us blokes suffer from SMD (Selective Male Deafness) which means you can't hear nagging! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 20 minutes ago, Bossybabe said: I have a few things to say, boys: Be honest. Make her laugh. Listen (or appear to do so, convincingly!) And from my personal viewpoint, be intelligent and treat her as if she was (even if she isn't). And what are women supposed to do? Anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 2 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said: And what are women supposed to do? Anything? I think the women are supposed to make men laugh too and be honest. They also might listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 29 minutes ago, MrPin said: If she is intelligent, "appearing" to listen won't work! We intelligent ones know but appreciate you trying to make it look good. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 10 minutes ago, MrPin said: I think the women are supposed to make men laugh too and be honest. They also might listen. I agree with all of the above. Listening to men in the same way men listen to women, with the ears but not the brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isambard Posted November 7, 2016 Author Share Posted November 7, 2016 Yeah how did women attract men. They don't really - they just try and look nice its a good point - what ACTUALLY do they do in the whole process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isambard Posted November 7, 2016 Author Share Posted November 7, 2016 I think women actually talk a lot of ******** - so do men but we probably like to admit it more. Make me laugh maybe all comedians are babe magnets. It could be true!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 1 hour ago, MrPin said: Yes women are like second hand cars! Check the oil water, and does it start? And as soon as you get it home give it a thorough service top to bottom, regardless of history. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bossybabe said: I agree with all of the above. Listening to men in the same way men listen to women, with the ears but not the brain. That's for when you are married! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 26 minutes ago, MrPin said: That's for when you are married! Yes. And some long term relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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