PeanutButter Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 14 hours ago, Adrian Mole said: Can honestly say I see more hate against women on this site than man hating on Mumsnet. You don't see many women making casual sexist comments over there & I would say the popular suggestion to LTB on the Relationship forum is usually very well deserved. No you’re right, they don’t seem to make random misandrist comments often, but if you can’t see the in-group behaviour perhaps you are part of the in-group. It’s not a coincidence that so many threads on mumsnet (by women) start with “Please be kind but…” No one here has to preface threads that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 48 minutes ago, PeanutButter said: No you’re right, they don’t seem to make random misandrist comments often, but if you can’t see the in-group behaviour perhaps you are part of the in-group. It’s not a coincidence that so many threads on mumsnet (by women) start with “Please be kind but…” No one here has to preface threads that way. Only because on here there is zero chance of people being kind just because someone has requested it! (not much chance on Mumsnet either to be fair) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pebbles Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 15 hours ago, Adrian Mole said: Can honestly say I see more hate against women on this site than man hating on Mumsnet. You don't see many women making casual sexist comments over there & I would say the popular suggestion to LTB on the Relationship forum is usually very well deserved. Mumsnet is massively man hating and it is almost site policy. I got banned from there saying something about women that exactly the same words were used about men earlier. You can often write the same thread and get massively different results if the person mentioned is a man or a woman. Even people on their own site notice that. Mumsnet is a hotbed of misandry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 6 minutes ago, Pebbles said: Mumsnet is massively man hating and it is almost site policy. I got banned from there saying something about women that exactly the same words were used about men earlier. You can often write the same thread and get massively different results if the person mentioned is a man or a woman. Even people on their own site notice that. Mumsnet is a hotbed of misandry. People have their prejduces, I have always found Mumsnet to be a good place to go to for advice wheras HPC has a big negative component that peer review everything which also has its place in a decision making formula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 1 minute ago, Pebbles said: Mumsnet is massively man hating and it is almost site policy. I got banned from there saying something about women that exactly the same words were used about men earlier. You can often write the same thread and get massively different results if the person mentioned is a man or a woman. Even people on their own site notice that. Mumsnet is a hotbed of misandry. I don't agree it's massively man hating and the official policy is that everyone is welcome equally which is why there have been many calls by members to change the name of the site as it doesn't scream inclusivity. I think the only reason they won't do that is that the name "mumnet" has become such a big brand. There are a few man haters on there of course, as in any huge community, but there are a few women haters on here too. With my limited knowledge of this site, there is way more random sexist hate & stereotyping on here than over there. Take this whole thread - aimed at belittling women without their knowledge. The majority of women on Mumsnet are actually pretty realistic about the housing market (in my opinion) and the ones who aren't soon get pulled up by other people on the threads telling them if it won't sell the main issue is likely to be the price. Yes they may suggest decluttering or other tactics to make the house look more appealing but the bottom line advice is inevitably to reduce the price. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeanutButter Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 30 minutes ago, shlomo said: People have their prejduces, I have always found Mumsnet to be a good place to go to for advice wheras HPC has a big negative component that peer review everything which also has its place in a decision making formula Good summary. Use both and know their flaws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70PC Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 This is exactly why HPC is so important. These poor people cannot afford prep school fees with their current mortgage! They are having to send their children to school with riff raff. And what about holidays in Capri? Can they even afford those? How many more lives are going to be ruined by house prices. "We cannot - realistically - afford prep school fees (certainly not for both of them, in due course) with the size of our currently mortgage. If we left London & had a smaller mortgage, we would be able to afford the fees." https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/property/5065622-is-it-a-good-idea-to-leave-london Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Teardrop Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 28 minutes ago, 70PC said: "We cannot - realistically - afford prep school fees (certainly not for both of them, in due course) with the size of our currently mortgage. If we left London & had a smaller mortgage, we would be able to afford the fees." https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/property/5065622-is-it-a-good-idea-to-leave-london They need to look on the bright side, their kids speaking MLE and going to a comprehensive isnt the barrier it once was... ...unless they are thick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pebbles Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 2 hours ago, Adrian Mole said: I don't agree it's massively man hating and the official policy is that everyone is welcome equally which is why there have been many calls by members to change the name of the site as it doesn't scream inclusivity. I think the only reason they won't do that is that the name "mumnet" has become such a big brand. There are a few man haters on there of course, as in any huge community, but there are a few women haters on here too. With my limited knowledge of this site, there is way more random sexist hate & stereotyping on here than over there. Take this whole thread - aimed at belittling women without their knowledge. The majority of women on Mumsnet are actually pretty realistic about the housing market (in my opinion) and the ones who aren't soon get pulled up by other people on the threads telling them if it won't sell the main issue is likely to be the price. Yes they may suggest decluttering or other tactics to make the house look more appealing but the bottom line advice is inevitably to reduce the price. Oh i can aggree on the housing issues yes. They are often no differnet to us. I was more on about issues towards men working in nurserys provision of male and female only spaces and the obviously differnt attitudes to family money when the man is the man earner compared to the woman. Oh and every thread that involved a murder of a woman by a man seem to result in "i hate men' responses a woman committing the same crime then its 'this is very unusual' responses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nero120 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 3 hours ago, Adrian Mole said: I don't agree it's massively man hating and the official policy is that everyone is welcome equally which is why there have been many calls by members to change the name of the site as it doesn't scream inclusivity. I think the only reason they won't do that is that the name "mumnet" has become such a big brand. There are a few man haters on there of course, as in any huge community, but there are a few women haters on here too. With my limited knowledge of this site, there is way more random sexist hate & stereotyping on here than over there. Take this whole thread - aimed at belittling women without their knowledge. The majority of women on Mumsnet are actually pretty realistic about the housing market (in my opinion) and the ones who aren't soon get pulled up by other people on the threads telling them if it won't sell the main issue is likely to be the price. Yes they may suggest decluttering or other tactics to make the house look more appealing but the bottom line advice is inevitably to reduce the price. Christ, you must be reading very different threads to the ones I see!! 😂 It's a running joke that the responses will mention every conceivable detail before *gasp* suggesting the price might be too high. If someone does happen to mention it then very likely they are ignored by the OP. This is logical. People come to HPC because instinctually we are contrairian to the popular HPI narrative. Most people are not like this and have been conditioned to expect HPI so the likelihood of anyone on Mumsnet confronting this is extremely low. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 34 minutes ago, Pebbles said: Oh i can aggree on the housing issues yes. They are often no differnet to us. I was more on about issues towards men working in nurserys provision of male and female only spaces and the obviously differnt attitudes to family money when the man is the man earner compared to the woman. Oh and every thread that involved a murder of a woman by a man seem to result in "i hate men' responses a woman committing the same crime then its 'this is very unusual' responses. To be honest it is statistically correct that men are way more likely to murder a woman than the other way around - males both kill more people generally and are more likely to kill or cause bodily harm to their partner in a domestic dispute than the other way around. So I can understand why some people on Mumsnet might give the response "this is very unusual" though I would personally take the "very" out of it. That doesn't mean the women making this comment are man haters or believe that all men are capable of murdering a woman (or anyone else). I don't see the overall site as massively man hating as you suggested above and definitely not to the degree that it is "practically site policy". I honestly feel like the mods are very quick at deleting personal insults so if anyone says anything insulting to a male poster that will normally be removed if reported. If it is just a case of differences of opinion then yes I expect the site is more sympathetic to the female view but that is to be expected considering the community is mainly female. I don't look at the feminist boards often as some of the views can be rather too extreme even for me as a woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 1 minute ago, nero120 said: Christ, you must be reading very different threads to the ones I see!! 😂 It's a running joke that the responses will mention every conceivable detail before *gasp* suggesting the price might be too high. If someone does happen to mention it then very likely they are ignored by the OP. This is logical. People come to HPC because instinctually we are contrairian to the popular HPI narrative. Most people are not like this and have been conditioned to expect HPI so the likelihood of anyone on Mumsnet confronting this is extremely low. Yes I must be because the vast majority of the threads I see do have the suggestion withing the advice given that the price might be too high. Sure you get all the other advice too around making the house and garden more attractive without spending loads of money, but that's good advice because many buyers are influenced by first impressions etc (maybe women more than men unless that's my prejudice speaking). You see it as a joke on here but many of the women giving advice have successfully bought and sold several properties themselves. And the bottom line of reduce the price if you're not getting offers/viewings will be made at some point on almost all threads over the last year. That is sometimes ignored by the OP but often taken on board, plus maybe some people need to sit with the idea for a while before realising it makes sense? I think sentiment has changed on Mumsnet as they have come to terms with the changes in the market. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orb Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 Mumsnet seems like a place to stealth brag to other women than hating men. Threads such as "what should I buy my cleaners for Christmas?" or "AIBU to tell the kids they're only having 4 holidays this year as our mortgage has risen from £6k per month to £7K?????" or "Why isn't my house getting any viewings/interest???" followed by a RM link to a £1-million show house.......... they seem insecure attempts to showcase and validate 'success' by one-upping everyone else. I've never seen one of those links go to a RM link of a bedsit above a kebab shop in Grimsby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob8 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 3 hours ago, Adrian Mole said: To be honest it is statistically correct that men are way more likely to murder a woman than the other way around - males both kill more people generally and are more likely to kill or cause bodily harm to their partner in a domestic dispute than the other way around. So I can understand why some people on Mumsnet might give the response "this is very unusual" though I would personally take the "very" out of it. That doesn't mean the women making this comment are man haters or believe that all men are capable of murdering a woman (or anyone else). I don't see the overall site as massively man hating as you suggested above and definitely not to the degree that it is "practically site policy". I honestly feel like the mods are very quick at deleting personal insults so if anyone says anything insulting to a male poster that will normally be removed if reported. If it is just a case of differences of opinion then yes I expect the site is more sympathetic to the female view but that is to be expected considering the community is mainly female. I don't look at the feminist boards often as some of the views can be rather too extreme even for me as a woman. My impression is that has changed a lot. It used to be that everything was the man's fault inherently. Now, "real women" are perfect, so any woman admitting to fault is in trouble. There are plenty of misogynists on here too. I looked at the feminist bit and, yes, bonkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear Necessities Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 4 hours ago, nero120 said: Christ, you must be reading very different threads to the ones I see!! 😂 It's a running joke that the responses will mention every conceivable detail before *gasp* suggesting the price might be too high. If someone does happen to mention it then very likely they are ignored by the OP. This is logical. People come to HPC because instinctually we are contrairian to the popular HPI narrative. Most people are not like this and have been conditioned to expect HPI so the likelihood of anyone on Mumsnet confronting this is extremely low. I've looked at quite a few threads on there in the last month related to houses not selling or "what can i do to get this sold" and every single one of them mentions price repeatedly right from the start, usually the first or second comment and then at least a quarter of all comments are like "cut the price". You are correct in as much as the original poster usually ignores it, but it's not the case that noone mentions it. There are threads on there 30 pages long about someone's house on rightmove and every single one of those pages mentions that the price needs reducing. to the point where there are other people saying "well everyone is saying its the price but i think it just need a tidy up and a giant clock". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70PC Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 3 hours ago, Orb said: Mumsnet seems like a place to stealth brag to other women than hating men. Threads such as "what should I buy my cleaners for Christmas?" or "AIBU to tell the kids they're only having 4 holidays this year as our mortgage has risen from £6k per month to £7K?????" or "Why isn't my house getting any viewings/interest???" followed by a RM link to a £1-million show house.......... they seem insecure attempts to showcase and validate 'success' by one-upping everyone else. I've never seen one of those links go to a RM link of a bedsit above a kebab shop in Grimsby. Very much so "Help us decide which place fits our lifestyle best in England (Richmond, St Albans, Bath, Reading, Oxford)?" https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/property/5064842-help-us-decide-which-place-fits-our-lifestyle-best-in-england-richmond-st-albans-bath-reading-oxford Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 3 hours ago, Orb said: Mumsnet seems like a place to stealth brag to other women than hating men. Threads such as "what should I buy my cleaners for Christmas?" or "AIBU to tell the kids they're only having 4 holidays this year as our mortgage has risen from £6k per month to £7K?????" or "Why isn't my house getting any viewings/interest???" followed by a RM link to a £1-million show house.......... they seem insecure attempts to showcase and validate 'success' by one-upping everyone else. I've never seen one of those links go to a RM link of a bedsit above a kebab shop in Grimsby. I think you are seeing things through a negative lens. Just because someone doesn't know what to buy their cleaner for Christmas doesn't mean they are showing off about having a cleaner. Just because someone links to their £1M house, that doesn't mean they are necessarily trying to stealth brag. It could actually be as simple as they don't understand why their house isn't getting any viewings/interest. Probably the price! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 1 minute ago, 70PC said: Very much so "Help us decide which place fits our lifestyle best in England (Richmond, St Albans, Bath, Reading, Oxford)?" https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/property/5064842-help-us-decide-which-place-fits-our-lifestyle-best-in-england-richmond-st-albans-bath-reading-oxford That thread was a bit nuts especially as Reading isn't posh so it was more like spot the odd one out. I find it hard to believe that someone is really considering so many different areas with no clue about them and think the best way to decide which one to pick is to ask on Mumsnet. But hey, could be real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 2 minutes ago, Adrian Mole said: I think you are seeing things through a negative lens. Just because someone doesn't know what to buy their cleaner for Christmas doesn't mean they are showing off about having a cleaner. Just because someone links to their £1M house, that doesn't mean they are necessarily trying to stealth brag. It could actually be as simple as they don't understand why their house isn't getting any viewings/interest. Probably the price! On an individual basis no. But when there are hundreds of posts/threads like that a pattern forms Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 Just now, Si1 said: On an individual basis no. But when there are hundreds of posts/threads like that a pattern forms Maybe you would be surprised how many people have cleaners, it's not that unusual. Million pound houses more so but Mumsnet is a site that attracts mainly middle class women & a £1M house is just a 3 or 4 bed house in many parts of the South & especially London (or even just a flat in London). Though I think you are exaggerating slightly as most of the properties linked are not as expensive as £1M. People do provide links to much cheaper houses all the time, asking for advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 7 minutes ago, Adrian Mole said: Maybe you would be surprised how many people have cleaners, it's not that unusual. Million pound houses more so but Mumsnet is a site that attracts mainly middle class women & a £1M house is just a 3 or 4 bed house in many parts of the South & especially London (or even just a flat in London). Though I think you are exaggerating slightly as most of the properties linked are not as expensive as £1M. People do provide links to much cheaper houses all the time, asking for advice. Err if you say so. You possibly don't appreciate your own level of privilege by responding like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrian Mole Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 4 minutes ago, Si1 said: Err if you say so. You possibly don't appreciate your own level of privilege by responding like this. As I say Mumsnet is a site that attracts mainly middle class women and I happily admit I fall into that category. I do appreciate my privilege. Middle class women may not be your favourite demographic but still, I believe the majority of posters who talk about employing cleaners or having £1M houses are not doing it to "stealth brag" to other people on the site but more because it reflects their life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 4 minutes ago, Adrian Mole said: As I say Mumsnet is a site that attracts mainly middle class women and I happily admit I fall into that category. I do appreciate my privilege. Middle class women may not be your favourite demographic but still, I believe the majority of posters who talk about employing cleaners or having £1M houses are not doing it to "stealth brag" to other people on the site but more because it reflects their life. That gets into some quite subtle psychology and whether status symbols play a role in middle class-ness tbf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nero120 Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 @Adrian Mole do you have shares in mumsnet or something?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DownwardSlopingPlateau Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 2 minutes ago, nero120 said: @Adrian Mole do you have shares in mumsnet or something?! +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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