Finding People

[DTMark]

We've had a death in the family - my uncle.

Funeral date is set for Friday.

In the meantime, we have, shall I say, an extended "faction" of our family with whom we have lost contact over the years.

Last contact was 13 years ago.

The phone numbers we have don't work.

We know the last address and I've looked it up on 192.com - it's an hour's drive from here.

However that may not be the right address now.

I hate Facebook but I have registered an anonymous account, tracked down three of them, and sent them messages. It does say "the message will go into the "other" folder because you are not connected".

Basically, I need to be sure to get a message to them ASAP and in any event before Friday.

Ideally I need to know that the message has been received which is why although a letter is the obvious option, it could go astray and it could be that they've moved anyway.

Driving to the last known address is one option.

Any ideas?

[happy_renting]

We've had a death in the family - my uncle.

Funeral date is set for Friday.

In the meantime, we have, shall I say, an extended "faction" of our family with whom we have lost contact over the years.

Last contact was 13 years ago.

The phone numbers we have don't work.

We know the last address and I've looked it up on 192.com - it's an hour's drive from here.

However that may not be the right address now.

I hate Facebook but I have registered an anonymous account, tracked down three of them, and sent them messages. It does say "the message will go into the "other" folder because you are not connected".

Basically, I need to be sure to get a message to them ASAP and in any event before Friday.

Ideally I need to know that the message has been received which is why although a letter is the obvious option, it could go astray and it could be that they've moved anyway.

Driving to the last known address is one option.

Any ideas?

Sorry to hear your sad news.

Try Google of names, last known employers.

Bebo, LinkedIn and mySpace as well as Facebook.

Phonebook Directory enquiries. Electoral Register

Can you recall any mutual aquantances and their contact details?

Did these people have any hobbies, they might be members of local clubs who might pass a message on for you.

Maybe get in your car, take a map, and go from there. if they have moved, neighbours might know where to.

Godd luck.

[porca misèria]

One more idea ...

If you have an address that may or may not be current, you can look up when it was last sold (as HPC customarily does when looking at prices). If no sale since last contact, you've much-improved your chance they're still there. If there has been one sale, try phoning round estate agents in the area with the address and date, and see if they can help. If lots of sales then that may be more trouble than it's worth.

[wherebee]

One more idea ...

If you have an address that may or may not be current, you can look up when it was last sold (as HPC customarily does when looking at prices). If no sale since last contact, you've much-improved your chance they're still there. If there has been one sale, try phoning round estate agents in the area with the address and date, and see if they can help. If lots of sales then that may be more trouble than it's worth.

If you have the address and the name, are they not in the phone book at 192.com? You get 20 free searches with phone numbers...that will at least give you a chance if they havent moved. if they have moved, and someone answers, ask which estate agent they bought through. Those agents may have a forwarding address.

there are other ways, but they start to get complex and sometimes shady.

[DTMark]

Thanks all. The house doesn't appear to have been sold in the last ten years.

The street it is on has recorded hardly any sales. I think this is probably because that street is predominantly council owned, and theirs is a council house. I suppose contacting the council isn't out of the question.

There isn't all that much to go on, that part of our family is somewhat estranged, the last time we had contact was the last death in the family 13 years ago.

I'm still digging around on Facebook, I've even come across people I never knew about including a possible aunt who looks exactly like an Asian version of my Irish Nan with the same surname linked from one of the profiles I found. Resemblance is too great for it to be coincidence.

I paid the ten quid to get access to 192.com which is what gave me the address in the first place. On finding it, my mother recalls it - it is familiar - it is definitely where they lived, or live. No phone numbers for that address or neighbours. Mind you does anyone use landline numbers these days.. it doesn't have mobile details.

It is actually possible that the person we are trying to contact, my uncle's brother, has actually died. We wouldn't necessarily have found out about that. I'm sure this will all sound odd to some, just humour me. It's one of those family rifts that has gone on forever.

I'm going to see if the Facebook contacts work today or tomorrow and if not, I'll get in the car and have a drive up there.

[The Knimbies who say No]

Thanks all. The house doesn't appear to have been sold in the last ten years.

The street it is on has recorded hardly any sales. I think this is probably because that street is predominantly council owned, and theirs is a council house. I suppose contacting the council isn't out of the question.

There isn't all that much to go on, that part of our family is somewhat estranged, the last time we had contact was the last death in the family 13 years ago.

I'm still digging around on Facebook, I've even come across people I never knew about including a possible aunt who looks exactly like an Asian version of my Irish Nan with the same surname linked from one of the profiles I found. Resemblance is too great for it to be coincidence.

I paid the ten quid to get access to 192.com which is what gave me the address in the first place. On finding it, my mother recalls it - it is familiar - it is definitely where they lived, or live. No phone numbers for that address or neighbours. Mind you does anyone use landline numbers these days.. it doesn't have mobile details.

It is actually possible that the person we are trying to contact, my uncle's brother, has actually died. We wouldn't necessarily have found out about that. I'm sure this will all sound odd to some, just humour me. It's one of those family rifts that has gone on forever.

I'm going to see if the Facebook contacts work today or tomorrow and if not, I'll get in the car and have a drive up there.

Sorry to hear that Mark. I can only add the suggestion that the Facebook users you have found, if younger types, may be locatable on Twitter.

[The Ayatollah Buggeri]

It is actually possible that the person we are trying to contact, my uncle's brother, has actually died. We wouldn't necessarily have found out about that. I'm sure this will all sound odd to some, just humour me. It's one of those family rifts that has gone on forever.

Death certificates are a public record (as are birth and marriage certificates), available to anyone. If you know the county (or metropolitan authority) in which he is likely to have died, a phone call to the relevant county record office should establish whether a death certificate exists for anyone of that name. The certificate will also give you the address at which the death took place, the address at which the deceased last lived (if different), and the name and address of the person who registered the death.

Once you have established that a record exists, you can order a copy of the certificate for £9.25, which will give you that information. You do need to know the name of the town or city in which the death took place, plus the full name of the deceased, in order to do this, though. I'm guessing that the name and address of the person who registered the death might enable you to reach other family members.

[Darkman]

I hate Facebook but I have registered an anonymous account, tracked down three of them, and sent them messages. It does say "the message will go into the "other" folder because you are not connected".

They probably won't see it in that folder. Most people don't know it exists. For a small charge (cost me a dollar) you can message someone on FB directly & make sure they see it. Also be careful, because if you send too many friend requests to unknown people FB will automatically put a ban on new friend requests for a week.

You may know this already, but the most effective way of tracking down people on FB who aren't on your friend list is to look through other people's friend lists. You can then jump from one list to another, despite not being on their friend list. Just putting names in the search field won't bring up many people, probably because most accounts are set to private.

I haven't been stalking people btw. I only know all this because I've been finding very old school friends from 30yrs back.

Sorry for your loss.

[SarahBell]

Add as friend .. Unless your fake user names too bizarre

[DTMark]

Top tip on the "pay to send a message" - I've paid the 68p to get the message into the Inbox so hopefully that will work.

The ID I used for Facebook was probably not the most subtle: "Dirk Gently". It wouldn't let me have "President Borusa".

But the message makes clear who I actually am. There's no way I'm putting genuine information into Facebook.

Also thanks for the other tips, I'll check the death cert records too.

I'll go and make up a Twitter account now, my old one got closed the last time Twitter got hacked into.

[Frank Hovis]

I thought a site like this:

http://www.123people.co.uk/

Is good unless they have a very common name and live in London (for example). Detaisl off teh electoral register, phone numbers etc.

Good luck Mark.

[SarahBell]

Ad in local papers too?

Cheaper to do direct rather than via funeral directors.

[Si1]

Thanks all. The house doesn't appear to have been sold in the last ten years.

The street it is on has recorded hardly any sales. I think this is probably because that street is predominantly council owned, and theirs is a council house. I suppose contacting the council isn't out of the question.

There isn't all that much to go on, that part of our family is somewhat estranged, the last time we had contact was the last death in the family 13 years ago.

I'm still digging around on Facebook, I've even come across people I never knew about including a possible aunt who looks exactly like an Asian version of my Irish Nan with the same surname linked from one of the profiles I found. Resemblance is too great for it to be coincidence.

I paid the ten quid to get access to 192.com which is what gave me the address in the first place. On finding it, my mother recalls it - it is familiar - it is definitely where they lived, or live. No phone numbers for that address or neighbours. Mind you does anyone use landline numbers these days.. it doesn't have mobile details.

It is actually possible that the person we are trying to contact, my uncle's brother, has actually died. We wouldn't necessarily have found out about that. I'm sure this will all sound odd to some, just humour me. It's one of those family rifts that has gone on forever.

I'm going to see if the Facebook contacts work today or tomorrow and if not, I'll get in the car and have a drive up there.

Why don't you send a personally addressed letter to that address, special delivery, asking them to get in touch, save yourself the trip?

[The Masked Tulip]

Are they Catholic? Google the Catholic church in the area and make a call.

[StainlessSteelCat]

It wouldn't let me have "President Borusa".

You blooming geek.

[Darkman]

You blooming geek.

I'm sure these relatives will love to hear from "Dirk Gently"

[The Masked Tulip]

It probably is easier to drive the hour and knock on a few doors. If the death of this person is so important to them then surely a face to face conversation is preferable?

You will also be able to tell whether it was worth the effort or not by their reaction. They may be grateful for you telling them or not care less.

[Bloo Loo]

Top tip on the "pay to send a message" - I've paid the 68p to get the message into the Inbox so hopefully that will work.

The ID I used for Facebook was probably not the most subtle: "Dirk Gently". It wouldn't let me have "President Borusa".

But the message makes clear who I actually am. There's no way I'm putting genuine information into Facebook.

Also thanks for the other tips, I'll check the death cert records too.

I'll go and make up a Twitter account now, my old one got closed the last time Twitter got hacked into.

Are you from Nigeria?...dead Uncle, money to give, cant get it due to x reason, send cash?

[happy_renting]

Are you from Nigeria?...dead Uncle, money to give, cant get it due to x reason, send cash?

Is it wise to joke, considering that DTMark has just lost a relative?

[Mr. Miyagi]

It probably is easier to drive the hour and knock on a few doors. If the death of this person is so important to them then surely a face to face conversation is preferable?

You will also be able to tell whether it was worth the effort or not by their reaction. They may be grateful for you telling them or not care less.

This^

I use a package from experian in work to trace poeple, but ultimately I have to give them a knock on the door

Edit to add

If you have addresses and aren't sure if they are still there you can check land registry, of course only relevant if they have bought the house.

[winkie]

It probably is easier to drive the hour and knock on a few doors. If the death of this person is so important to them then surely a face to face conversation is preferable?

You will also be able to tell whether it was worth the effort or not by their reaction. They may be grateful for you telling them or not care less.

That is what I would do...also you could pop down the local shop, school, church or post office....all depending on the type of community they live in.....unless they never ventured out or kept themselves to themselves, someone should know them.

[DTMark]

Is it wise to joke, considering that DTMark has just lost a relative?

No worries - after all it was my odd sense of humour that led me to choose the name "Dirk Gently" as being nicely inconspicuous.

Thanks to everyone for all the tips - that was exactly what I was looking for, so as to have the best shot at certainty of contact before Friday.

And the one that worked was the "pay to send a message on Facebook" - the initial one didn't get anywhere, but the paid one did - an hour later that cousin called, the news has been conveyed and we are back in contact now.

Thanks all.

[Bloo Loo]

Is it wise to joke, considering that DTMark has just lost a relative?

It was partly a reason the other relative might not respond.....and this crime is no joke.

[Rave]

Bumping this with a question about messaging people on Facebook.

This evening one of the cleaners approached me in the bus garage where I work and gave me a Spanish ID card, an EHIC card, a credit card and a university ID card, all belonging to the same Spanish woman- which he said he'd found on one of the buses that was finished for the night. I went and handed them in to the office, but then quickly realised that 1) she might suffer some considerable difficulty from the loss of those cards, especially if she was using the national ID card in lieu of a passport (?); and 2) that it was possible that she'd been pickpocketed in the street, with the crim then boarding our bus to sort through her purse and discard the bits that were of no use to them- and so potentially the owner would have no reason whatsoever to contact us and ask after them. So I went and photocopied them all, and then set about trying to contact her. My colleague in the control room upstairs found her easily enough on Facebook, and sent her a message.

I've just got home and sent an email to what I think is an administration address for the university she works for, asking them to pass along the message- the text of which I chucked into Google Translate, and copied their Spanish under my English. But now I'm wondering if I ought to make more of an effort with Facebook, as by the sound of it my colleague's message will end up in her 'other' folder as he's not her friend. So I could in theory pay a dollar to message her direct, or as I understand it I can try and add her as a friend myself and put a little message to go with my friend request. Alternatively I can not bother, on the basis that University professors in their mid-50s might not use Facebook much, and/or that going to any further lengths than I have already might look more like stalking than trying to do someone a good turn! What do you Facebook experts reckon?

She is also on LinkedIn - I have no reason at all to be on there TBH. I'm just going to check for her on Twitter now.

[wherebee]

Bumping this with a question about messaging people on Facebook.

This evening one of the cleaners approached me in the bus garage where I work and gave me a Spanish ID card, an EHIC card, a credit card and a university ID card, all belonging to the same Spanish woman- which he said he'd found on one of the buses that was finished for the night. I went and handed them in to the office, but then quickly realised that 1) she might suffer some considerable difficulty from the loss of those cards, especially if she was using the national ID card in lieu of a passport (?); and 2) that it was possible that she'd been pickpocketed in the street, with the crim then boarding our bus to sort through her purse and discard the bits that were of no use to them- and so potentially the owner would have no reason whatsoever to contact us and ask after them. So I went and photocopied them all, and then set about trying to contact her. My colleague in the control room upstairs found her easily enough on Facebook, and sent her a message.

I've just got home and sent an email to what I think is an administration address for the university she works for, asking them to pass along the message- the text of which I chucked into Google Translate, and copied their Spanish under my English. But now I'm wondering if I ought to make more of an effort with Facebook, as by the sound of it my colleague's message will end up in her 'other' folder as he's not her friend. So I could in theory pay a dollar to message her direct, or as I understand it I can try and add her as a friend myself and put a little message to go with my friend request. Alternatively I can not bother, on the basis that University professors in their mid-50s might not use Facebook much, and/or that going to any further lengths than I have already might look more like stalking than trying to do someone a good turn! What do you Facebook experts reckon?

She is also on LinkedIn - I have no reason at all to be on there TBH. I'm just going to check for her on Twitter now.

Contact the alumni section of her University. They tend to be more active and efficient that the admin centres.