council dweller Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 We average about 150-200 applications for every job advertised at the moment, and I'd say it still seems to be increasing. I reckon the redundancy money's running out. But....but.....but.....surely there are some regional variations? Being up against 9 or 10 others is pretty good odds I've always found, it must be like this in some parts of the country? (Ps, please don't say scarry things so close to bedtime.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Executive Sadman Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 A south African college of mine has just been made redundant, no savings, has no right to benefits, and is considering burglary. What do we do with him? Hows that?. What zud efrika needs is the YMCA Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground. I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town There's no need to be unhappy. Young man, there's a place you can go. I said, young man, when you're short on your dough. You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find Many ways to have a good time. It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a. It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a. They have everything for you men to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boys ... It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a. It's fun to stay at the y-m-c-a. You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal, You can do whatever you feel ... Young man, are you listening to me? I said, young man, what do you want to be? I said, young man, you can make real your dreams. But you got to know this one thing! ...etc... oh theyll have a ball Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashConnoisseur Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 A south African college of mine has just been made redundant, no savings, has no right to benefits, and is considering burglary. What do we do with him? Give him a list of MP's home addresses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.C. Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 No, they draw it up from the Hg wells. Very good sir! But you forgot to bash the poor, must try harder. :angry: Try reading the Daily Mail for inspiration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charliemouse Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 (edited) Perhaps unemployed people can be turned into some kind of fuel. Maybe they could peddle the windmills on a still day. How long pefore we reach peak unemployed? Edited July 16, 2009 by charliemouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flatnose Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 This has got to win the prize for the most banal post in the history of HPC. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sibley's Love Child Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 "Sigh* What I don't understand is why these unemployed don't just find themselves work? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guillotine Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 This has got to win the prize for the most banal post in the history of HPC. You are correct, congratulations to you Flatnose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Monk Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 This has got to win the prize for the most banal post in the history of HPC. Yes, I thought HPC was better when we had some Bulls to debate with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabberwocky Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 (edited) There is no unemployment . In fact there is a surplus of 3,976,001.50 of available jobs and house prices are going up together with green shoots. The stark epiphany of it all. Edited July 16, 2009 by Jabberwocky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helena Handbasket Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 I think unemployed people should be given food vouchers instead of cash.That way, they'll be easily identifiable in supermarkets and can be sent to the back of the queue every time a hard working taxpayer joins it! After all, they're unemployed, what does it matter to them how long they spend in a supermarket queue? And the humiliation of being singled out like that might just motivate them to get off their backsides and find a job! Congratulations, you've made it to Government Minister! They gave vouchers to the Asylum Seekers a few years back, but you won't remember that, cos the public have a short memory n'all. And the voucher scheme has stopped now, due to its inherent flaws. I bet you'll never guess what the flaws were, so I'll just sit here and laugh at you, like I laugh at all simpletons with 'magic' solutions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ralphmalph Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Congratulations, you've made it to Government Minister!They gave vouchers to the Asylum Seekers a few years back, but you won't remember that, cos the public have a short memory n'all. And the voucher scheme has stopped now, due to its inherent flaws. I bet you'll never guess what the flaws were, so I'll just sit here and laugh at you, like I laugh at all simpletons with 'magic' solutions. Was one of the flaws that taxpayers took preference at supermarket queues? Sounds good to me, in fact I think they should clean my shoes and iron my shirts for free to save my time to work more to pay more tax to pay for their food vouchers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNACR Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Congratulations, you've made it to Government Minister!They gave vouchers to the Asylum Seekers a few years back, but you won't remember that, cos the public have a short memory n'all. And the voucher scheme has stopped now, due to its inherent flaws. I bet you'll never guess what the flaws were, so I'll just sit here and laugh at you, like I laugh at all simpletons with 'magic' solutions. Was the flaw that they stopped voting Labour? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petetong Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Congratulations, you've made it to Government Minister!They gave vouchers to the Asylum Seekers a few years back, but you won't remember that, cos the public have a short memory n'all. And the voucher scheme has stopped now, due to its inherent flaws. I bet you'll never guess what the flaws were, so I'll just sit here and laugh at you, like I laugh at all simpletons with 'magic' solutions. Oh I see, you're saying we shouldn't give them anything at all, so they're more motivated to find work. Good to see your on message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Thinker Posted July 16, 2009 Share Posted July 16, 2009 Except old bean, there are no jobs. Poundland just opened a few more shops and had 150 applicants for every avaliable job. The absolute vast majority of unemployed people actualy want work, even the worst kind of work it would seem. The reason unemployment goes up is on account of redundancy and vastly shrinking number of vacancies rather than a desire all of a sudden for more people choosing it as a career. As they say you can be ignorant without being arrogant but you cant be arrogant without being ignorant, it seems you haver chosen to be one of the latter. ps, hope you find your obnoxious self in this position one day. Hmmm, nice. I'm gonna have to give this some serious thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giordano Bruno Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 troll Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
expatowner Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 we should sterilise anyone who claims benefits Couldnt we get them to pick up litter and dog poo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ITSmidge Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 "Sigh*What I don't understand is why these unemployed don't just find themselves work? Here, for example? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesagainstmachines Posted July 17, 2009 Author Share Posted July 17, 2009 Couldnt we get them to pick up litter and dog poo? It would make so much more sense than the employed people picking up their own or facing a fine. We could create thousands of shit jobs While they are at it, why don't they sort out my recycling for me, it's a bloody annoying job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nationalist Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I think they should all generate electricity by cycling on a bike linked to a mini generator.1. Keep 'em fit thereby reducing health costs. 2. Keep 'em warm. 3. It's green and has a purpose (can't watch telly without cycling). 4. If they produce more than they consume then they can earn themselves a bit of cash. (could extend it to anyone on tax credits too) Brilliant! And your scheme lends itself to payment by effort, 1p per kilowatt hour generated. Solves polution, solves global warming, solves unemployment, solves peak oil, and is healthy for the unemployed person. Every town could have a drop-in centre where anyone could go and do some cycling to earn a few bob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I'd have the wasters jogging on the spot until they get a bloody job. If nothing else, they'll be fit for employment after a few days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dispossessed Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Well, I find it incredulous that we still have so many immigrants coming into the country at such a time. Nice article in The Telegraph yesterday about the numbers of British born (note not indigenous British) made unemployed this last quarter against the numbers of immigrants who gained jobs. To me, it just defies immagination. What's more, just like the Ghurkas, I though the additional costs would be too great anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PopGun Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 I think unemployed people should be given food vouchers instead of cash.That way, they'll be easily identifiable in supermarkets and can be sent to the back of the queue every time a hard working taxpayer joins it! After all, they're unemployed, what does it matter to them how long they spend in a supermarket queue? And the humiliation of being singled out like that might just motivate them to get off their backsides and find a job! Remember this post, should the day ever arrive when you're having to que in the Jobcentre yourself. NO ONE is bullet proof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helena Handbasket Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 Was one of the flaws that taxpayers took preference at supermarket queues? Sounds good to me, in fact I think they should clean my shoes and iron my shirts for free to save my time to work more to pay more tax to pay for their food vouchers. OK, give up? They just trade the vouchers for cash. £50 voucher = £40 cash. These people can live off a bowl of rice and a glass of water, and live 8 to a room. The £30 left over each week gets saved to buy a house back home. In the game of Rock-Scissors-Paper, Foreigner beats English beats... God knows. Well done for trying though! Oh, and what made you think they shopped in a supermarket? So unsporting of them to get their produce from a cheap supplier after trading the vouchers in the black economy. Especially since you need to feel superior in Tescos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNACR Posted July 17, 2009 Share Posted July 17, 2009 OK, give up? They just trade the vouchers for cash. £50 voucher = £40 cash.These people can live off a bowl of rice and a glass of water, and live 8 to a room. The £30 left over each week gets saved to buy a house back home. In the game of Rock-Scissors-Paper, Foreigner beats English beats... God knows. Well done for trying though! Oh, and what made you think they shopped in a supermarket? So unsporting of them to get their produce from a cheap supplier after trading the vouchers in the black economy. Especially since you need to feel superior in Tescos. Is it too hard to print the recipients photo on the voucher? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.