Deluded Old Scrapper Birds On Dating Sites

[bendy]

At what point did you twig? Was it when you were on all fours with your bototm in the air or was it the reverse cow position... I mean, reverse cow swing?

i hope it wasn't when he said 'hole in one'

[silentstan]

Thanks for that, pretty much what I was looking for.

As I said I'm a long term user, 3000+ posts on my other profile. So I'm well used to the off-topic forum (I think 50% of my 3,000 posts are in here).

[Mr. Miyagi]

Thanks for that, pretty much what I was looking for.

As I said I'm a long term user, 3000+ posts on my other profile. So I'm well used to the off-topic forum (I think 50% of my 3,000 posts are in here).

Were you banned in the great cull of 2010?

[The Masked Tulip]

Were you Ken? If you were, I would suggest knowing your luck, dating sites are best avoided.

Nah, Ken had many a dating site anecdotal IIRC.

[silentstan]

Were you Ken? If you were, I would suggest knowing your luck, dating sites are best avoided.

No

Were you banned in the great cull of 2010?

No, never banned.

Just wanting to start my life again, which to be honest is almost impossible in this digital age.

[cashinmattress]

Nobody, and I mean nobody wants a fat old UK bird with a fanny gut and an equally nasty attitude.

Why do you think so many blokes marry thin, attractive Thai and women of other Asian nationalities, and of course visit prostitutes?

[WorkingForTheMan]

Bringing this thread back from the dead to get some advice.

Created a match.com profile at the weekend and had, what I would consider a decent response. Of course I don't have any idea of the quality of responses as I haven't as yet paid for anything, but the number suggests there is some interest in me at least. It seems the general consensus here is that on the whole it's not worth it, but is that really the case. I'm considering giving it a go for a month and seeing what happens.

Reasonable idea or a waste of £30.

Waste of £30 imo. I joined a few months ago..all the decent women seemed to be miles away, everytime i logged on was just the same old faces..had no replies to any of my messages..gave up after a week. forgot to cancel and ended up paying for 3 months!

Plentyoffish has worked for me recently, actually very well. Had 2 decent relationships out of it, with apparently sane, normal women . First one didn't work out but she was a nice girl (current one has been a couple of months, will see how it goes, looking good at the mo)

Problem with POF is you have to spend hours on it sorting the wheat from the chaff (and theres lots and lots of chaff!)

but at least its free

[Austin Allegro]

Waste of £30 imo. I joined a few months ago..all the decent women seemed to be miles away, everytime i logged on was just the same old faces..had no replies to any of my messages..gave up after a week. forgot to cancel and ended up paying for 3 months!

Plentyoffish has worked for me recently, actually very well. Had 2 decent relationships out of it, with apparently sane, normal women . First one didn't work out but she was a nice girl (current one has been a couple of months, will see how it goes, looking good at the mo)

Problem with POF is you have to spend hours on it sorting the wheat from the chaff (and theres lots and lots of chaff!)

but at least its free

Golden rules for dating sites:

1. Don't pay for them. Quality is not much better on paid for sites than free sites; although you have to sift through more timewasters and nutjobs on free sites, you still get timewasters and nutjobs on paid-for sites...

2. They are not a way to find your 'soul mate'. Consider them only as a way of meeting people as soon as you can be reasonably sure that the woman is relatively sane and you have enough in common to keep conversation going over a couple of drinks.

3. Don't start email correspondences to rival '84 Charing Cross Road' before you have even met somebody. Emails are only a way to get the first meeting set up as mentioned in point 2. Otherwise you are just wasting each other's time.

4. Use internet dating as a back up only. The best way to meet people is through other people; so network like crazy and don't turn down any possible social events or things going on. That said, before you start dating, give up any hope of finding soul mates etc; just see it as a way of meeting people and having a bit of fun which might, but probably won't, lead to anything more.

[WorkingForTheMan]

Golden rules for dating sites:

1. Don't pay for them. Quality is not much better on paid for sites than free sites; although you have to sift through more timewasters and nutjobs on free sites, you still get timewasters and nutjobs on paid-for sites...

2. They are not a way to find your 'soul mate'. Consider them only as a way of meeting people as soon as you can be reasonably sure that the woman is relatively sane and you have enough in common to keep conversation going over a couple of drinks.

3. Don't start email correspondences to rival '84 Charing Cross Road' before you have even met somebody. Emails are only a way to get the first meeting set up as mentioned in point 2. Otherwise you are just wasting each other's time.

4. Use internet dating as a back up only. The best way to meet people is through other people; so network like crazy and don't turn down any possible social events or things going on. That said, before you start dating, give up any hope of finding soul mates etc; just see it as a way of meeting people and having a bit of fun which might, but probably won't, lead to anything more.

+10000

Having spent almost ten years on dating sites I concur with all the above. For all the bad press they get dating sites have given me a steady stream of women and fun for nearly ten years.

Still not found 'the one' yet though!

[silentstan]

Thanks to all those that have replied.

Must say having trawled the various sites over the last week or so I do have to agree with the original post. Deluded is not the word, you would have thought by now somebody single and in their 40's would have got the message that a long list of demands akin to a mexican ransom note is going to put people off.

The worst is pictures of people with their kids, I have no issue with kids in general and I would't be opposed to meeting somebody with kids but do they really expect much of a response.

[Frank Hovis]

I used to have a no-women-with-kids rule but I've made an exception, however if I was on the dating websites that would still be my first filter as it's such a big negative that there have to be enormous positives to make it worthwhile.

[silentstan]

I used to have a no-women-with-kids rule but I've made an exception, however if I was on the dating websites that would still be my first filter as it's such a big negative that there have to be enormous positives to make it worthwhile.

I think it would be seriously unrealistic to expect there to be many women on these sort of sites around my age (late 30's) reasonably good looking, few issues and no kids.

As much as everything is weighted in favour of women on these sites for me it's still a sales pitch, if these people didn't expect much and didn't issue a list of demands it might even be acceptable to mention kids but they seem to want the moon on a stick. Obviously if they have kids it's going to come up at some point but at least pretend for a small while that they are not going to dominate things early on.

Very early doors at the moment but I don't have huge expectations having read this thread and seen it for myself.

P.S. I have had that picture booked marked for months, seemed the perfect time to use it

[Starla]

I think it would be seriously unrealistic to expect there to be many women on these sort of sites around my age (late 30's) reasonably good looking, few issues and no kids.

As much as everything is weighted in favour of women on these sites for me it's still a sales pitch, if these people didn't expect much and didn't issue a list of demands it might even be acceptable to mention kids but they seem to want the moon on a stick. Obviously if they have kids it's going to come up at some point but at least pretend for a small while that they are not going to dominate things early on.

Very early doors at the moment but I don't have huge expectations having read this thread and seen it for myself.

P.S. I have had that picture booked marked for months, seemed the perfect time to use it

One thing I learnt from dating sites/life is it's not about finding people with no issues, it's about finding someone with issues compatible to your own. No one wants to admit it to themselves, but everyone has issues to varying degrees.

Agree, would avoid anyone with a list of specifications and requirements like they're ordering a car. Sounds like hard work.

I met some great guys (some still really great mates) and some total weirdos, it's the same cross section of society as you can meet in the supermarket, bar, anywhere. It got a lot better for me when I started to approach it with the idea of meeting someone I could have a cracking good laugh with, rather than "the one".

Never accept a black and white photograph from anyone.

[bearwithasorehead]

Golden rules for dating sites:

snip

3. Don't start email correspondences to rival '84 Charing Cross Road' before you have even met somebody. Emails are only a way to get the first meeting set up as mentioned in point 2. Otherwise you are just wasting each other's time.

snip

PMSL

spot on.

[Austin Allegro]

One thing I learnt from dating sites/life is it's not about finding people with no issues, it's about finding someone with issues compatible to your own. No one wants to admit it to themselves, but everyone has issues to varying degrees.

Excellent point. As I see it, any 'normal' person, ie, someone with mainstream views, conventional behaviour/outlook and average or above in looks, will have paired off long term before they are 30.

Those that don't either have 'issues' (ranging from anything from serious problems like alcoholism down to unusual opinions/unconventional lifestyles) which limit the number of possible partners they could have, or they 'punch above their weight' (ie, have unrealistic expectations of their partner in terms of looks, money, intelligence etc) and limit their possible partners in this way (I would consider myself to have suffered from both these symptoms).

However, by mid 30s or so a number of people can come back on the market due to relationship break ups, divorce etc which is why I never discounted women with children per se. There's a difference between a decent woman with one or two children whose husband left her for another woman, and the Yeah-but-no-but Waynetta Slobb type with a family of mixed and uncertain paternity.

[Starla]

Excellent point. As I see it, any 'normal' person, ie, someone with mainstream views, conventional behaviour/outlook and average or above in looks, will have paired off long term before they are 30.

Those that don't either have 'issues' (ranging from anything from serious problems like alcoholism down to unusual opinions/unconventional lifestyles) which limit the number of possible partners they could have, or they 'punch above their weight' (ie, have unrealistic expectations of their partner in terms of looks, money, intelligence etc) and limit their possible partners in this way (I would consider myself to have suffered from both these symptoms).

It seems likely that if someones main priorities in life are watching Eastenders in their sportswear, communicating in text speak, or the classic "staying in and watching a DVD with a glass of wine" then the chances of being single are reduced. Their dating pool is sadly about 75% of the single UK population. You just need to vaguely fancy someone and it's a done deal. My mates (men/women) that struggle most finding a relationship are the ones that are the most articulate, interesting and stupid-funny left field. The dating pool (puddle) is tiny in comparison. It's not meeting someone that's the problem, it's meeting someone worth meeting. Then you're at the mercy of luck, looking for someone not tangibly described on paper.

[snowflux]

Excellent point. As I see it, any 'normal' person, ie, someone with mainstream views, conventional behaviour/outlook and average or above in looks, will have paired off long term before they are 30.

Those that don't either have 'issues' (ranging from anything from serious problems like alcoholism down to unusual opinions/unconventional lifestyles) which limit the number of possible partners they could have, or they 'punch above their weight' (ie, have unrealistic expectations of their partner in terms of looks, money, intelligence etc) and limit their possible partners in this way (I would consider myself to have suffered from both these symptoms).

However, by mid 30s or so a number of people can come back on the market due to relationship break ups, divorce etc which is why I never discounted women with children per se. There's a difference between a decent woman with one or two children whose husband left her for another woman, and the Yeah-but-no-but Waynetta Slobb type with a family of mixed and uncertain paternity.

As a single dad (my wife died when my lad was 2 years old) on a dating site, I'm probably one of the few men who actually tend prefer women with one or two kids since they are more likely to appreciate the limitations that having children to care for places on a potential relationship. Women of my age (30s/40s) without children tend to have what seems to me a rather immature and unrealistic outlook on life, though that's obviously generalising rather wildly.

[The Masked Tulip]

I might stick my profile back up just so I can add this photo.

[thecrashingisles]

Those that don't either have 'issues' (ranging from anything from serious problems like alcoholism down to unusual opinions/unconventional lifestyles) which limit the number of possible partners they could have, or they 'punch above their weight' (ie, have unrealistic expectations of their partner in terms of looks, money, intelligence etc) and limit their possible partners in this way (I would consider myself to have suffered from both these symptoms).

Sadly an aversion to debt comes into that category.

[DrMartinSanchez]

I'm reviving this thread...

Just found another interesting profile:

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=12954384

r u man enuffff for her? I know I'm not

[OnionTerror]

It seems likely that if someones main priorities in life are watching Eastenders in their sportswear, communicating in text speak, or the classic "staying in and watching a DVD with a glass of wine" then the chances of being single are reduced. Their dating pool is sadly about 75% of the single UK population. You just need to vaguely fancy someone and it's a done deal. My mates (men/women) that struggle most finding a relationship are the ones that are the most articulate, interesting and stupid-funny left field. The dating pool (puddle) is tiny in comparison. It's not meeting someone that's the problem, it's meeting someone worth meeting. Then you're at the mercy of luck, looking for someone not tangibly described on paper.

I think thats absolutely true. Those with a "strange" outlook on life (me included) can find it hard to meet anyone...You know within the first few sentences if speaking to someone whether they get you, or whether you're just hopelessly embarrassing yourself with bizarre ramblings...

[pl1]

I might stick my profile back up just so I can add this photo.

Awesome. But illustrates it well. A dating bird will have a bond with her kids naturally which will be obviously missing from you. She'll see love, you'll just see some random kid who can't put World Of Warcraft down, at first anyway.

[Mr. Miyagi]

I'm reviving this thread...

Just found another interesting profile:

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=12954384

r u man enuffff for her? I know I'm not

Tits are alright.

[Starla]

I'm reviving this thread...

Just found another interesting profile:

http://www.pof.com/v...ile_id=12954384

r u man enuffff for her? I know I'm not

I'm definately not man enough.

I'm just not sure that calling yourself "The Starfish" is a good idea. It conjures up the wrong image from the start.

[The Masked Tulip]

I had a classic one today.

I begun browsing the dating sites about 2 months ago and noticed a woman in Swansea who had a profile on both dating direct and on plentyoffish.

On her plentyoffish profile she is seeking a woman to explore her bisexual side for the first time.

On her dating direct profile she writes a normal vanilla profile seeking a bloke. Her dating direct profile sounded intelligent, balanced and interesting.

She has the same photo on both profiles.

So I emailed her today simply wishing her all the best stating that I thought it was honest and brave of her to put such a profile on-line - especially as there are so many small-minded people in Wales when it comes to sexuality. That is all I said - I basically encouraged her and thought that I would hear no more from her. She is in her fifties and several years above my maximum age range in seeking a partner. I did not expect a response.

This is the response I got back.

I think you have the wrong person. I'm not on dating direct. I dont appreciate being contacted by a man on a lesbian dating site either.

Within minutes her profile photo on dating direct seeking a man had been deleted - presumably so no one can now link her with her female seeking profile on plentyoffish. I mean, does she really think that I am the only person who has seen both profiles, especially as both had the same profile photo?

So I emailed her back pointing out her profile handle on dating direct and what it said about her seeking a man, pointed out that plentyoffish is NOT a lesbian dating site only and, whilst I wished her all the best coming to terms with any sexual insecurities she might have, that I did not appreciate her trying to project her insecurities on to me by trying to make out that she did not have such a profile on dating direct as well as on plentyoffish.

I have to say that her reply caused me nutter alarm radar to begin flashing.

I understand that she may have reservations and doubts about her bi-sexual desires but, gee, come to terms with them before you begin sticking up your photo on one dating site seeking a woman and on another seeking a man!!!