Hail the Tripod Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I don't know what on earth they must talk about all day...I think you need to re watch that Patrice O'Neal "Women tell horrible stories" bit.Edited as cannot format on a smartphone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Limpet Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 That'll never wash A very pretty trophy edition, ten years his junior. Soul-less and tedious as f**k. And, deep down, he knows it. Anyway, back to your original problem. I would suggest losing the hat and the comedy beard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuggets Mahoney Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Anyway, back to your original problem. I would suggest losing the hat and the comedy beard. More astuteness. Yes, a rapid and surprising personal transformation could introduce that sense of mystery which is so completely lacking and tip the scales in my favour. Some tattoos might also be in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sPinwheel Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Women wear a mask during the beginning stages of a relationship and right up to marriage. Then it falls off and the man realises hes doesnt have a clue who he just married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eight Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I've been happily married for the neck end of twenty years. I can't work out now if that makes me a winner or a loser, in the eyes of this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hovis Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 I've been happily married for the neck end of twenty years. I can't work out now if that makes me a winner or a loser, in the eyes of this thread. Winner if you don't get divorced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Marriages seem to last 5 years, or forever. Actually one of the longer relationships I know never bothered with marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Austin Allegro Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I've been happily married for the neck end of twenty years. I can't work out now if that makes me a winner or a loser, in the eyes of this thread. If you're genuinely happily married, I'd say that makes you a winner in anybody's eyes, except perhaps those of a divorce lawyer. For all the cynicism I display I do still believe there is such a thing as a happy marriage, although they are increasingly rare and more the result of effortless personal compatibility (ie, luck) than anything to do with 'working hard at the marriage' etc. Although of course one can never truly know what goes on in another's marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StainlessSteelCat Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Women wear a mask during the beginning stages of a relationship and right up to marriage. Then it falls off and the man realises hes doesnt have a clue who he just married. Yes, absolutely this. The great truism is that women see men as work in progress, while men fervently want women to stay the same. Both end up disappointed. I've been happily married for the neck end of twenty years. I can't work out now if that makes me a winner or a loser, in the eyes of this thread. Lucky winner - providing you don't get divorced. Personally, I'd say I'm reasonably happily married for more than ten years. Life is never dull with my missus which I rather like - although I could do with a little less drama at times. Were it to end, I would never get married again though. Simply too higher risk of getting stiffed and it is pure luck whether you don't for the reasons outlined in the first quote. Cohabiting is not the same (yet). The gays have it wrong. We should have been campaigning for its abolition for all in favour of a standardised legal contract (retrospectively applied to all marriages, with a no consequence opt-out should either party decide it's not for them). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 More astuteness. Yes, a rapid and surprising personal transformation could introduce that sense of mystery which is so completely lacking and tip the scales in my favour. Some tattoos might also be in order. I like the hat and comedy beard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Yes, absolutely this. The great truism is that women see men as work in progress, while men fervently want women to stay the same. Both end up disappointed. Ha ha. some women think you might be great "starting material". Sorry women, this is the finished item. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XswampyX Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Women wear a mask during the beginning stages of a relationship and right up to marriage. Then it falls off and the man realises hes doesnt have a clue who he just married. Quite so. Source :- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3186785/Groom-sues-bride-damages-one-day-wedding-seeing-without-make-time-feeling-cheated-wasn-t-pretty.html The husband was so shocked after seeing his bride's face the morning after their wedding that he failed to even recognise her. He even accused her of being a thief that had broken into his house. After realising it was in fact the woman he had married only yesterday, he decided to take her to court - accusing her inflicting 'psychological suffering' by 'cheating' him with her make-up. The groom is now seeking $20,000 (£13,000) damages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Quite so. Source :- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3186785/Groom-sues-bride-damages-one-day-wedding-seeing-without-make-time-feeling-cheated-wasn-t-pretty.html It's best if they don't wear much makeup Mr Swampy. Bit like buying a used car. See it before it gets tarted up for the forecourt. The bloke must be a plonker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XswampyX Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Well, you don't look at the mantelpiece when you are poking the fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Well, you don't look at the mantelpiece when you are poking the fire. Actually I think I do. A bit of makeup and a nice outfit makes a hell of a difference. Same for men, bit of a shave, comb the hair (if any), and wear a nice jacket, and you have turned from Wayne Slob, into James Bond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitevanman Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Ha ha. some women think you might be great "starting material". Sorry women, this is the finished item. How can you improve on perfection? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 How can you improve on perfection? Indeed! They they should look at what they have "captured" and appreciate it. Some women are wise, and know when they have hit the jackpot. Others not so. Also applies to men BTW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longtomsilver Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Women wear a mask during the beginning stages of a relationship and right up to marriage. Then it falls off and the man realises hes doesnt have a clue who he just married. Absolutely 100% agree. The person I married is not the person I married. :confused: Also from previous conquests (sorry relationships) I found them hard to get and difficult to lose once they have their hooks in you. I think NM should get over his infatuation and move on. Plenty more fish in the sea. As a side note from the ages of 18-23 I had plenty of cash but no luck with the ladies always being too nice buying them drinks until one eventful evening where a really fit lass asked me to get her a drink and I snapped telling her to f*** off and buy her own... to my surprise she did quite the opposite. There after my tally went up exponentially, sometimes 2-3 in a week, a destructive path in itself.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 As a side note from the ages of 18-23 I had plenty of cash but no luck with the ladies always being too nice buying them drinks until one eventful evening where a really fit lass asked me to get her a drink and I snapped telling her to f*** off and buy her own... to my surprise she did quite the opposite. There after my tally went up exponentially, sometimes 2-3 in a week, a destructive path in itself.. I admire your "stud-ness"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longtomsilver Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I admire your "stud-ness"! There's a few good ones in there, bolts out of the blue. Another time I managed to secure the phone number of a truly gorgeous blonde bombshell copper stealing a kiss from her as we left a nightclub. Anyway, the next night I was out in my red neck local and the alpha farmer types were (tantamount to bullying) ribbing my apparent lack of success with the ladies, so armed with the desire to cut them down I called her up (we didn't text back then) and arranged to meet up the next week in my village pub. All I can say is everyone went silent when she walked in the door, including me - I didn't stand a chance, so we went on to have the most appalling, awkward first date with 'Jenny' knocking back the wine on collectively, possibly the worst date we had ever been on... keen to end the misery and content the job had been done I closed the date flying a two fingered victory salute to my mates as we left and was driven by this now trollied upholder of the law back to my folks house. As I was genuinely concerned she was in no fit state to drive I innocently invited her in for a coffee and oh f*** me she did, didn't want to wake up my folks so we ended parked up in a layby in the back of her (private) fiat panda. I went on to see her a few more times and when that fizzled out her cousin showed an interest ad filled the void Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 I'm sorry you had to do it in the back of a Fiat Panda. I appreciate you midget guys are real men, despite being vertically "challenged". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Probably the subject of a Deluded Old (not really a) Scrapper Birds pt3 thread but I'm currently involved in a tricky 'friendzone' situation with a ladyfriend who I first met years ago when (we were both) coupled up. Neither of us have been coupled up for a while now and have been seeing each other as chums over that time. She mentioned to me a couple of weeks ago that she'd started 'seeing someone'. At which point I made the unforgivable mistake of expressing some depth of feeling towards her. The reasons why I hadn't prior to that are a bit convoluted. Cutting a long story short I've been served a large helping of 'you're a dear friend but...' pie with lashings of sprinkles and a portion of 'I don't want to lose you as a friend, maybe you'll get used to it'. She's off on hols now for a couple of weeks with her little un. After which we'll be getting together and I'll be saying ta ta. The problem being, I suspect, that we get on like a house on fire in virtually all respects but that in all the years I've known her I've never once treated her like s**t, acted like I'd rather be somewhere else, or anything like that, and it's a bit late to start now. Just sharing and perfectly aware that I may be inadvertently initiating a Deluded Old Scrapper Blokes thread. Drop her cold, immediately, not even an excuse. Just drop out of her schedule completely. Get back in touch very tentatively at least 6 months on to the future and, unless her relationship with this new person is still going, she'll wonder what happened between you two. Never give her an explanation for dropping away so suddenly, remain mysterious on that point. That'll put the nugget of doubt in her mind that stops you being her subconscious backup plan (which is what the friend zone is) and gives her conscious feelings for you. In the meantime throw yourself into some hobby or interest, anything, that prevents you going all mushy on her in the meantime or, heaven forbid, getting in touch. You have to drop her (OK, as a friend) absolutely cold, don't wait for the end of her holiday to be all nice about it. Just an opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Drop her cold, immediately, not even an excuse. Very Wise Si1. Get a motorbike instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si1 Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Very Wise Si1. Get a motorbike instead. Indeed Or join the French foreign legion. Motorbike's less of a commitment however... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 12, 2015 Share Posted August 12, 2015 Indeed Or join the French foreign legion. Motorbike's less of a commitment however... Oh no, I would have to learn French. Motorbikes are fun, and can't nag you! I'm not really a misogynist, just not suited for relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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