Democorruptcy Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 (edited) What next? A leading banker has today advised the government to reduce the minimum working age and allow children of any age to go to work. The banker said “In today’s high inflationary economy it is absolutely ridiculous that children sit at home while both parents have to work increasingly longer hours to try keep the family solvent”. “When I was a child my mother was able to stay at home to look after me and my sisters Tabitha and Hortensia but now an increasing number of women have to work. In 1997 when house prices were £60k, a 25 year mortgage at 6% was £380 a month but now the average house costs £160k+ the mortgage has ballooned to £1,030. That extra £650 a month represents an increase of 170%, similar to the rise in house prices. Remember that increase is just on an average house and who wants to live in one only worth that much? These extra mortgage payments are crippling families all over the UK. They are no longer able to spend as much money in the economy and the outlook for UK consumption is bleak. While my pay and bonuses are escalating, due to the government diverting money to bankers from savers via low interest rates, I really worry for CEO’s in the retail sector. Where are their future bonuses going to come from, when the public are left with little or no disposable income? How long can the government go on devaluing sterling, so that foreigners can come here to buy things that people in the UK can no longer afford themselves? “If children went straight to work when leaving school it solves a lot of problems in the UK. There would be a reduction in anti-social behaviour with less children roaming the streets. The money they earn would increase household incomes. Another advantage of children working is that many retired grandparents currently take on child care duties. With children working this childcare would not be necessary so this would free up the grandparents to find work of their own. Even though their own mortgages may be paid up these retirees could contribute a large portion of their new incomes towards their children’s mortgage. All this extra income would mean there be less mortgages underwater and people could even pay a lot more for their next house” “In order to fully maximise the mortgage paying potential of the higher earning households, the UK should abolish what little financial regulation it still pretends it has. At the moment 70% of mortgages granted in the UK had to have income verified compared to 50% in 2007. However once children were allowed to work, income verification would not be necessary at all, as parents could keep popping out wage earning children to meet any mortgage shortfall. In addition, with life expectancy increasing, if children started working earlier, mortgage terms could be extended to 60 or 70 years, to give them longer to pay their mortgage interest.” “So what would work would all these children do? Well I would suggest that children cannot start learning about how to get in debt early enough. At the height of the housing boom it became obvious that mortgage broking required little or no skill. Just being able to see that people were not showing signs of rigor mortis was enough to be able to grant them mortgages. Therefore every Primary school could open up it’s own mortgage broking office for their pupils. This could be manned 247 on a shift system, to keep the children gainfully employed. ” “I feel very confident that the dark clouds that have gathered over the UK, would be blown away if my ideas were adopted. It doesn’t matter how many hours, days, weeks, months, years you have to work, if people know that when they get home and go to bed, those four walls are worth a lot more. With another housing boom on top of our current housing boom, the UK would then have the largest banks in the world and the public would be safe in the knowledge that banks of that size are too big to fail”. http://news.sky.com/home/business/article/26042449 Edited August 3, 2011 by Redhat Sly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipbuilder Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 What next? Very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awaytogo Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 (edited) What next? Yep they are increasing the retirement age which will starve jobs from the young unemployed who want to work, they allow people from every country in the world to come here to further starve jobs, and now they want to reduce the minimum working age. What for just to boost the unemployed market. Another guy on the radio had the idea of building a major road between Cambridge and Oxford to reduce unemployment. Edited August 3, 2011 by awaytogo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggot_with_halitosis Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 What next? LOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blod Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 That's got to be a wind up. If it isn't then he's suggesting that they whole family should work just so they can support the housing ponzi and keep his bonus safe. Unbelievable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RufflesTheGuineaPig Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Another guy on the radio had the idea of building a major road between Cambridge and Oxford to reduce unemployment. To be fair we have long needed an outer M25... a non-stop motorway entending the M10 from the M1 round towards high wycombe, joining the M4, then down to the M3, then down to Gatwick and round to the M20. The M25 was designed as a ring road to stop people going through central London. Most traffic on it though is travelling between the outer motorways... e.g. M1 round to M3 etc. A dedicated motorway joining JUST the other motorways together would take the presure off our stuggling road network and save huge amounts of C02 by slashing jams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crash2006 Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 lower the age means more workers, but low unemployment = high inflation and low inflation = high unemployment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StainlessSteelCat Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) lower the age means more workers, but low unemployment = high inflation and low inflation = high unemployment. Clearly not the only factor. At the moment, we seem to have high inflation, static wages and high unemployment. I think your equation only holds good if wages rise with inflation. There is definitely a group of kids who from the age of 13-14 no longer get anything from school and disrupt it for the rest. But I'm not sure offering them to employers is the answer either as they lack skills, are vulnerable to exploitation - due to lack of life experience - and young adult unemployment is already high. Edited August 4, 2011 by StainlessSteelCat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chest Rockwell Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) save huge amounts of C02 by slashing jams. LOL! Edited August 4, 2011 by Chest Rockwell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
200p Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Read all about it: Leading banker wants to bring back the times of Charles Dickens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chest Rockwell Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Clearly not the only factor. At the moment, we seem to have high inflation, static wages and high unemployment. I think your equation only holds good if wages rise with inflation. There is definitely a group of kids who from the age of 13-14 no longer get anything from school and disrupt it for the rest. But I'm not sure offering them to employers is the answer either as they lack skills, are vulnerable to exploitation - due to lack of life experience - and young adult unemployment is already high. Bring back National Service, let the military deal with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PopGun Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 “When I was a child my mother was able to stay at home to look after me and my sisters Tabitha and Hortensia but now an increasing number of women have to work. In 1997 Prat, how can he spew all this tripe with a straight face?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahleyburn Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 What next? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Ah, the search for where the money is. The working and middle classes are being robbed left right and centre, so children and pensioners are the next group of cattle. Didn't I hear talk of reopening some of the coal mines? Here's where some more potential money is - funny article really, as you'd have to wonder why such a report was produced, and for whose consumption. What else could be securitised? http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/investing/8677557/Pensioners-mortgage-free-property-by-region.html An asset rich but cash poor group who will increasingly have to sell their homes back to the bank to stay afloat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilroy Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Prat, how can he spew all this tripe with a straight face?! Do you really think that someone with sisters named Hortensia and Tabitha would say "less children"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruffneck Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Is this from the daily mash? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Miyagi Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 The link is broken and I can't seem to find it on the sky news site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kilroy Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 The link is broken and I can't seem to find it on the sky news site. Funny that..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloo Loo Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 A leading vampire has today advised the government to reduce the minimum biting age and allow children of any age to go give blood. The vampire said “In today’s high inflationary economy it is absolutely ridiculous that children sit at home while both parents have to give blood more to try keep me and my fellows fed”. “When I was first made the undead, my biter was able to stay at home to look after me and my sisters Tabitha and Hortensia but now an increasing number of biters have to leave home to seek blood. In 1997 when people were plump, a 25 year old could feed the average vampire, but now, with many more vampires there is just not enough blood from the one "donor". . That extra 8pints a month a month represents an increase of 170%, similar to the rise in vampire numbers. Remember that increase is just on an average human and who wants to live with one only worth that much? These extra bites are crippling families all over the UK. They are no longer able to stay alive and the outlook for UK vampires is bleak. While my pay and bonuses are escalating, due to the government diverting blood to vampires from humans via low death rates, I really worry for slayersin the retail sector. Where are their future bonuses going to come from, when the public are left with little or no disposable iblood? How long can the government go on devaluing slayers, so that foreign humans can come here to without the fear of the two holes in the neck? “If children went straight to donating when leaving school it solves a lot of problems in the UK. There would be a reduction in anti-social behaviour with less children roaming the streets. The blood they give would increase vampire health. Another advantage of children donating is that many retired grandparents currently take on child care duties. With children donating this childcare would not be necessary so this would free up the grandparents to die on their own. Even though their own blood may be used up these retirees could contribute a large portion ashes towards their children’s food. All this extra income would mean there be less vampires turning hungry and people could even give lot more blood” “In order to fully maximise the blood letting potential of the plumper households, the UK should abolish what little vampire regulation it still pretends it has. At the moment 70% of blood rights granted in the UK had to have blod type verified compared to 50% in 2007. However once children were allowed to donate, type verification would not be necessary at all, as parents could keep popping out blood bearning children to meet any blood shortfall. In addition, with life expectancy increasing, if children started donating earlier, sucking the throat terms could be extended to 60 or 70 years, to give them longer to pay their homage to the undead.” “I feel very confident that the dark clouds that have gathered over the UK, would be blown away if my ideas were adopted. It doesn’t matter how many hours, days, weeks, months, years you have to bloodlet, if people know that when they get home and go to bed, those four walls are worth a lot more, specially when garlic an crucifixes are removed. With another vampire boom on top of our vampire feeding boom, the UK would then have the largest undead in the world and the public would be safe in the knowledge that the undead are too big to starve". http://news.sky.com/...rticle/26042449 fixed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledgehead Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) For those frustrated by the sky news broken link, you can also find the story here : www.Sledgeheads419Scam.com/main.htm Edited August 4, 2011 by Sledgehead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I want a house! Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 For those frustrated by the sky news broken link, you can also find the story here : banker_story Where? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledgehead Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Where? okay, my plan didn't work for some reason.I've edited it for clarity - see above Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Democorruptcy Posted August 4, 2011 Author Share Posted August 4, 2011 The link is broken and I can't seem to find it on the sky news site. Sorry there isn't really a link. I just made it up. It just seems to me that people are happy to pay more and more for houses, without realising all it does is mean they have to work more hours to make more bonuses for bankers. I think a leading banker would agree with it. though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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