THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 PMSL Haven't you got magnolia paint to go and buy or something? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Of course not jabroni. The Monkey has bought a brand new house. Why would he want to decorate a house when he can pay some renter peanuts to do it for him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libitina Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLcoolbot Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 this is the most electrifying thread I have read in house price forums today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dog Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 I think you should consider staying. It is good to have a site clown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bart of Darkness Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 The Monkey has only owned a house 1 week and already he has pulled the lovely libitina! Don't you all wish you could be like the Monkey too? We do, oh Great One, but some are too proud to admit it. They are the real, no good jabronis. When The Monkey has time, he should kick their candy asses! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 We do, oh Great One, but some are too proud to admit it.They are the real, no good jabronis. When The Monkey has time, he should kick their candy asses! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Even though you are a no-good snivelling renting jabroni, Bart of Darkness, the Monkey almost respects you for recognising it. But that will not stop the Great One from laying the smackdown on your candy ass too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 this is the most electrifying thread I have read in house price forums today<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Care to make any more blindingly obvious statements, jabroni? Like... Water is wet. The world is round. KOTC is BBB. TTRTR has daily bed baths from his oiled-up male nurse called Kelvin. Or how about "I am a no good renting jabroni who wishes he was a home owner like the Most Electrifying Ape in Property Ownership Today. In fact, I realise that that goal is unattainable but maybe I could lick the Monkey's shoes". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 I think you should consider staying. It is good to have a site clown.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> And it is always good to have a dog around for all the unemployed renters on this site, because they won't be getting any pie like this in a hurry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnieDarker Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 I hope The Monkey bought in Ashford. The place is full of jabroni chav-scum. Top 10 places! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bart of Darkness Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Even though you are a no-good snivelling renting jabroni, Bart of Darkness, the Monkey almost respects you for recognising it.But that will not stop the Great One from laying the smackdown on your candy ass too. The Monkey is as wise as he is (deservedly) intolerant of no good jabronis such as myself. Bart will keep his mouth shut from now on, so as to avoid incurring the wrath of The Monkey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 The Monkey is as wise as he is (deservedly) intolerant of no good jabronis such as myself.Bart will keep his mouth shut from now on, so as to avoid incurring the wrath of The Monkey. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Bart of Darkness - you clearly know your role and to shut your mouth. Maybe you have some other good qualities too, although the Monkey doubts it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spline Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Can we ask, and of course with greatest of respect and maximum grovelling , whether the Great One will now be hanging out on the C4/Homes forum? After all, he will have to transform the garden from a building site, there will be all those new-build defects to file claims against, and the next-door houses could well be BTLs with nightmare jabroni tenants and acres of leylandii bushes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theChuz Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 And it is always good to have a dog around for all the unemployed renters on this site, because they won't be getting any pie like this in a hurry. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> her shoulders are on backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 Can we ask, and of course with greatest of respect and maximum grovelling , whether the Great One will now be hanging out on the C4/Homes forum? After all, he will have to transform the garden from a building site, there will be all those new-build defects to file claims against, and the next-door houses could well be BTLs with nightmare jabroni tenants and acres of leylandii bushes.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Of course he will jabroni. Now that the great One is a homeowner, he wants to hang out with other wealthy homeowners too. Not terraced or semi-detached owners, mind you. The Monkey has standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 her shoulders are on backwards.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> But her funbags are on forwards and that's all the Monkey cares about, baby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smell the Fear Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 her shoulders are on backwards.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> The price of upper class inbreeding, I'm afraid. or maybe she dislocated it swinging from the Monkey's bedroom chandelier during a strudel romp..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libitina Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 The price of upper class inbreeding, I'm afraid. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Waiter, a saucer of milk for this table please! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sledgehead Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 The Monkey has bought a brand new house. Why would he want to decorate <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I had no idea the Mullard Space Science Laboratory, Department of Space and Climate Physics, University College London was a new build! Did you buy it off-plan in 1775? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 I had no idea the Mullard Space Science Laboratory, Department of Space and Climate Physics, University College London was a new build! Did you buy it off-plan in 1775? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> No jabroni, the Monkey liked that building so much he had an exact replica built in one of the top 10 areas to live in the Country as stated by Kirsty "Sex Bomb" Allsopp and Professor Phil Spencer. If you are in any doubt as to Kirsty and Phil's ability to reveal hotspots just check this out: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THE MONKEY Posted September 12, 2005 Author Share Posted September 12, 2005 Being a wealthy homeowner, the Monkey has better things to do than to hang around any longer in the slum that is HPC, like entering into intellectual discussion with his friends on the Channel 4 Forum, BBC Homes and the Singing Pig. This is the last post that the Most Electrifying Ape in Property Ownership Today will make on this site. But, just to show that the Monkey takes pity on renting peasants and misguided STRs, the Great One will leave you with 4 things to treasure and bring some excitement to your othwerwise dull lives. Firstly, a link to the Monkey's greatest ever victory, showing you how a real man takes care of business. http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/ind...topic=1843&st=0 Secondly, a copy of two of the Monkey's most famous catchphrase for you to burn to CD. You can listen to them when you wake in the morning and before you go to bed at night, giving you time to wonder how you might be like the Monkey and own a house. Thirdly, a photograph taken from the Monkey's houswearming party. Of course, the Great One would never invite any lowly-jabronis like you into his home. However, you can print this photo out, pin it on your walls and imagine that you have social acquaintances like the Monkey. Finally, the Monkey leaves you with the memories of the hope he gave you when he was the Champion of the People and he was adored by the millions and millions of his fans. Try not to think of how he dashed your hopes when he bought his new house and left you all alone, waiting for the crash that will never happen. On a good day, when the wind blows in the right direction and there are no clouds in the sky, you may hear the faint echo of millions and millions of people chanting "Monkey, Monkey, Monkey...." THE MONKEY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING Do_You_Smell_What_the_Monkey_is_Cooking.mp3 What_is_your_name_jabroni.mp3 Do_You_Smell_What_the_Monkey_is_Cooking.mp3 What_is_your_name_jabroni.mp3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perfectionist Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 Just wondering if Kirsty likes A.nal ...... seeing as shes helped **** fuk the country ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish Posted September 12, 2005 Share Posted September 12, 2005 No jabroni, the Monkey liked that building so much he had an exact replica built in one of the top 10 areas to live in the Country as stated by Kirsty "Sex Bomb" Allsopp and Professor Phil Spencer. If you are in any doubt as to Kirsty and Phil's ability to reveal hotspots just check this out: <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I think that's Phil helping her home after The Monkey had sorted her in his Phallus Palace... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STONE COLD Posted September 13, 2005 Share Posted September 13, 2005 THE MONKEY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING<{POST_SNAPBACK}> What a guy that Monkey fella was. Not only do I respect him for giving me the ass-whooping of my life, but now I can respect him even more for realising that there will never be a house price crash. Before Stone Cold joins the Monkey on his journey off into the sunset, to the beautiful land of home-ownership that is Channel 4 Homes, he would like to do two things. Firstly, Stone Cold would like to make a toast to the Monkey and his new house. He truly was the Great One. and secondly, Stone Cold will now join Bullish Bear and Libitina in singing a song, especially written by Bullish Bear in the Monkey's honour. Let's say goodbye with a smile, Great One, Just for a while, Monkey, we must part. Don't let the parting upset your strudel, Don't forget my pie, sweetheart. We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when, But I know we'll meet again, near Jabroni drive. Keep beating jabronis, just like you always do, 'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away. So will you please say hello to the folks that I know in the Smackdown Hotel, Tell them I won't be long. They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go, I was getting my candy ass beat on. After the rain comes the Monkey Elbow, You'll see the rain go, never fear, We two can wait for tomorrow, For the Monkey's bottom, my dear... No Stone Cold isn't crying, you stupid sons of b******, he just has something in his eye! Stone Cold has also left the building. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
151004 Posted September 13, 2005 Share Posted September 13, 2005 Stone Cold has also left the building.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> I too, would like to toast the Monkey. Surely when we look back upon the great innovators of the 21st century, he will be at the top of everyone's list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
libitina Posted September 13, 2005 Share Posted September 13, 2005 *sniffs* Has anyone got a tissue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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