Why Are British Mens' Manners So Lacking?

[Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable]

"Get your baps out, I want to suck 'em"

That was a comment I got from a British man as I walked down the street earlier this week, I think this comment provides womankind with a complete picture of the state of British men these days:

They are no gentlemen, they are beasts.

Why have British men fallen so very, very far? It used to be that British men were famed around the world for their etiquette, but no more...now they act like they were a baying mob in a strip joint, drinking, farting, and being rude.

I have also noticed relatively recently a distinct deterioration in the behaviour of men from their already low standards, it seems that they now favour the direct method of making lewd comments to try to gain my affections, I'm telling you now, that won't work guys. The previous week a guy tried to French kiss me, I was so annoyed I was tempted to punch him, and some guy wanted to take me home with him, and another I had just met said he loved me, which is maybe more likely to work, and several men tried to get boobage. In the winter when I was walking down the street some guy wanted to take me behind this church for some reason, I think he wanted to rape me.

I don't want to feel that I can't do stuff because I am a woman, but the manners of British men are so bad I am sure that plenty of women are intimidated by beastly men and limit what they do.

British men. Gentlemen no longer.

Comments?

In that skirt? You were just asking for it.

[mikeymadman]

Will I get done for sexism if I start a thread on "Why Are British Women's Manners So Lacking?"

[ccc]

Of course the best way to make a man feel uncomfortable is to refer to him as petal.

Ooh I would love that !!

The one thing a man does not want to be called is 'Harmless'.

Ouch.

[ccc]

Will I get done for sexism if I start a thread on "Why Are British Women's Manners So Lacking?"

No - but you will get plebs like me having a field day.

[Bob8]

I think manners per se have taken a dive over the last few decades, where pencil necks try to immitate the hard men on't telly. Girsl too are not particularly polite as the sexual revolution which brought us emancipation, seems to have brought stupid females who think it is great to be vulgar.

As to British men are beasts. I married one who defo. wasn't: neither were his contemporaries with whom I mixed. Working in a pub I found a different kettle of fish. Larger % of sexist dimwits, some of whom who thought that 'barmaid' was another name for prostitute.

My son isn't unmannerly and he would no more say that to ANY woman he knows, than he would drink a pint of Domestos. He had his Dad as a role model, and me to enforce the rules...Need I say more? Imitation and parental rules:

This bum who said that to you is probably one of the many underclass brats who would not be around today if it weren't for the welfare state, paying his parents to spawn at the taxpayer's expense, without observing their parental responsibilities.

I can believe things have become worse. Fortunately for us Englishmen, we still have a very ine reptation abroad.

Jess, I do feel you are inclined to blame everything on the Welfare state. Certainly the worst behaved youth, as a group, whom I have encountered were the children of land owners at University. There were things in common, a feeling that what you did made no difference (either you would be rich anyway or you would be poor anyway), but I cannot see it as a clear class thing.

[Executive Sadman]

Woman often treat me like a piece of meat too.

Unfortunately its only the fat and/or ugly ones, and theyre usually drunk.

I presume its only fat and/or ugly men who behave like this also?

I guess if they do it to 1000 women, 1 or 2 will oblige.

Anyway, at least its only manners. Go to Saudi and you'll be stoned to death for being a heretic temptress or something.

[Guest Skinty]

About 8 or 9 years ago, I used to live in Cambridge. I was doing about 9 hours of martial arts a week after work (Thai boxing, Kali, JKD etc).

One Friday night I was walking back through Parker's piece, a wide open field in the centre of Cambridge. It was about 3am and I was a little bit drunk. I was in my mid-twenties and dressed quite nicely, I had a handbag hanging off my shoulder and everything.

These two men were walking along the path chatting to each other and the moment they were level with my left shoulder one of them jumped at my face and shouted as loud as he could to scare me.

It kind of worked.

I read later that a sudden shock will send signals through a quick and dirty path through the brain and you start to react. A quarter of a second later your brain has a chance to properly guage what's going on, whether to continue with the original action or to do something else.

My first reaction was that I was about to be punched in the face. By the time I took stock of the situation, my right hand, originally holding onto the strap of my handbag at my shoulder was now a fist 6 inches from his face and we were staring at each other's eyes without moving.

There was a rather uncomfortable silence and the two guys went off and sort of nervously laughed. I initially felt a little bit stupid, thinking that I had over-reacted until it occurred to me quite what they were expecting from me.

[Guest AuntJess]

There will always be a proportion of the male population that will feel the need to prove its manhood by shouting obscenities at women from time to time. As a rule of thumb, it will tend to be the 'wee nyaffs' variety who are poorly proportioned where it counts relative to the rest of the male population ... I do find it funny that these men feel they prove some strength by picking on a lone female however. If they were harassing and shouting obscenities at men who are 6'4" and built like a brick shithouse maybe the macho act would be more convincing...

Anyway, I can't say that the UK is the worst for rudeness. People generally seem to mind their own business here. The worst place I've ever been is Brussels, yes, Brussels, supposedly home of the boring eurocrat. That city was crawling with disgusting men, generally of the Muslim persuasion, who seemed to assume that any woman walking around in the daytime in normal business or casual attire was a prostitute to be propositioned. Almost all of the women I worked with there had been sexually harassed, kerb-crawled, spat at, insulted or followed home at one point, sometimes regularly if they were blonde or fair-skinned. One colleague (Swedish) in another division was actually raped. What a dump of a city - apparently this kind of regular public harassment of women is the norm in Francophone cities (yes, I know Brussels is theoretically bilingual but in my experience it was largely Francophone). Plenty of women I know who lived in Paris had similar experiences of daily sexual harassment to the point of being scared to go outside their door on their own. The provenance of this harassment was nearly always male and Arab / North African.

Haven't heard anything like this happening to anyone in the UK though...

About 30 years ago now ,I went into a local pub where my husband and I were regulars, and I had worked behind the bar there. An Iraqi business man engaged me in a conversation and I found myself standing uncomfortably close to him as he seemed to opt for a nose-to nose encounter. I kept backing away but he followed - damn him. He asked me to sleep with him that night.

I refused and he said " Aren't you a prostitute?" " no" said I. He said that he thought that I was, as I was UNATTENDED by a male escort.

When I told my friend the barmaid she bantered, "Don't be so fussy! He pays £100 a night for a fair skinned woman".( £100 being quite a lot in those days!!)

When I told my husband he said " Wow, it'd be a great way to pay off the mortgage" so I said " Ok then, YOU sleep with him!"

Middle eastern etiquette is a long way from ours.

[Pick It Down]

Two or three weeks ago I was out with workmates in a fairly nice but busy bar when this passable blonde half my size approached from behind and put both hands across my chest and shoulders from below. I was sickened :angry: :angry:

[worzel]

Worzel on the Main Forum will be cross when he realises this thread is going on without him

Why's that then?

[General Congreve]

Two or three weeks ago I was out with workmates in a fairly nice but busy bar when this passable blonde half my size approached from behind and put both hands across my chest and shoulders from below. I was sickened :angry: :angry:

[Tim Miller]

What he said. Give up my seat for a lady. Not these days. You risk getting a mouthful from some Greerette about how they never been so patronised.

edit - I am not being that serious, but there has been a change lately in social ettiquette.

I was on the tube years and years ago and offered my seat to a woman. My God she laid into me for doing so. To be honest I was a little shocked but remembered a line that fitted the situation perfectly. My quick retort was "I did not offer my seat because you are a lady but because I am a gentleman", To which you could have heard a pin drop and then there was an outbreak of smiles, grins and one guy clapped his hands whoopping in joy. Bloody brilliant I thought. Needless to say the old boot had absolutely nothing to say back. The sad fact is, I never gave my seat up again in this country.

[Executive Sadman]

Well I do get some men opening doors for me, I always thank them nicely, maybe that's where I'm going wrong?

I would open doors for women, trouble is theyre all electrified now for the cripples. Finding one is nigh on impossible.

[worzel]

I was on the tube years and years ago and offered my seat to a woman. My God she laid into me for doing so. To be honest I was a little shocked but remembered a line that fitted the situation perfectly. My quick retort was "I did not offer my seat because you are a lady but because I am a gentleman", To which you could have heard a pin drop and then there was an outbreak of smiles, grins and one guy clapped his hands whopping in joy. Bloody brilliant I thought. Needless to say the old boot had absolutely nothing to say back. The sad fact is, I never gave my seat up again in this country.

I can quite believe the stories about getting agro for being a gent. But in terms of giving up seats on trains etc, which I guess I do once every couple of months or so, it's always been met with genuine gratitude whether taken up or not. Could well be a case of careful selection as to who I offer it to, but I've never got any grief for it.

[Della]

I initially felt a little bit stupid, thinking that I had over-reacted until it occurred to me quite what they were expecting from me.

Yes, you've got to watch out, you're not expecting to be in that kind of situation, and it can be unclear at the time what they want even if you recognise that you've suddenly got into a very dodgy situation.

[cells]

I can quite believe the stories about getting agro for being a gent. But in terms of giving up seats on trains etc, which I guess I do once every couple of months or so, it's always been met with genuine gratitude whether taken up or not. Could well be a case of careful selection as to who I offer it to, but I've never got any grief for it.

Once bitten twice shy.

[loginandtonic]

Why's that then?

at least someone reads my posts !

because it was what worzel gummidge used to say in the classic telly series http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0262912/

rip dear jp

[Guest Skinty]

Maybe it's not so much that the women are feminists as much as they are insecure.

From a woman's perspective, we all have to compete with men in today's world, and we normally have to do this by being judged by the same standards as men. After all, it's more often women going out to work full-time rather than men becoming house-husbands. Unfortunately this means that men have very little left that defines them as men and women have also lost confidence in their roles as women.

Some men are not gentlemen by any stretch of the imagination. Mainly the inadquate ones who get off on having power over others that they perceive as weaker than them. These men normally see women as easy targets and will try to exploit their inability to compete alongside men as men (because they're women).

So if you come along as a gentleman and offer your seat to a woman who is fed up of being treated as an inferior being, even though she is perfectly capable of standing, then she might well have learnt to see such gestures as a way of putting her down. Especially when a lot of women don't realise that the seat was offered just as much because of the man's own social conditioning.

Society won't always be this way. It's still trying to cope with the idea of giving equal rights yet recognising that men and women are fundamentally different creatures.

[Right Here Now]

I think manners per se have taken a dive over the last few decades, where pencil necks try to immitate the hard men on't telly. Girsl too are not particularly polite as the sexual revolution which brought us emancipation, seems to have brought stupid females who think it is great to be vulgar.

As to British men are beasts. I married one who defo. wasn't: neither were his contemporaries with whom I mixed. Working in a pub I found a different kettle of fish. Larger % of sexist dimwits, some of whom who thought that 'barmaid' was another name for prostitute.

My son isn't unmannerly and he would no more say that to ANY woman he knows, than he would drink a pint of Domestos. He had his Dad as a role model, and me to enforce the rules...Need I say more? Imitation and parental rules:

This bum who said that to you is probably one of the many underclass brats who would not be around today if it weren't for the welfare state, paying his parents to spawn at the taxpayer's expense, without observing their parental responsibilities.

Nail on the head.

I would also add that the breakdown in the family unit and the traditional family unit has also affected boys and girls. Along with the teachers going on the politically correct crusade that women must work etc and being a housewife is a failure, and not fogetting the ladette craze, they have all added up to a less polite and respectful society. I am sure that I have missed somethings that contribute but these will do for a start.

[Tim Miller]

I would open doors for women, trouble is theyre all electrified now for the cripples. Finding one is nigh on impossible.

"Cripples", that is not a nice term is it, disabled is the right term. One day you will get old yourself and may be disabled, maybe someone you love may become disabled!!

[Guest AuntJess]

i think you'll find she wanted your dollars or yen, plenty of working girls attend nightclubs - here and overseas. funny what you say about the swede, i had a swedish blonde actually projectile vomit on my chest at the academy nightclub in bournemouth in the 80s, i took that as a sign i was not terribly fit - suffice it to say that was almost the peak of my success with women

not necessarily, if she works at any retail bakery she could in theory hear that from customers daily in 2019 or anytime

obviously very true except some women do like the total selfish brute but if you're too nice then they see you as their brother or worse as Dad, although s0ds law says you'll play tough with a woman thats just come from an abusive male and she mistakes you for a b'stard and its all over (happened to me, no recovery was possible)

I think I may have discovered why someone reckons Swedish girls in nightclubs are slimmer than gals in British nightclubs...They are bulemic!

[loginandtonic]

About 8 or 9 years ago, I used to live in Cambridge. I was doing about 9 hours of martial arts a week after work (Thai boxing, Kali, JKD etc).

One Friday night I was walking back through Parker's piece, a wide open field in the centre of Cambridge. It was about 3am and I was a little bit drunk. I was in my mid-twenties and dressed quite nicely, I had a handbag hanging off my shoulder and everything.

These two men were walking along the path chatting to each other and the moment they were level with my left shoulder one of them jumped at my face and shouted as loud as he could to scare me.

It kind of worked.

I read later that a sudden shock will send signals through a quick and dirty path through the brain and you start to react. A quarter of a second later your brain has a chance to properly guage what's going on, whether to continue with the original action or to do something else.

My first reaction was that I was about to be punched in the face. By the time I took stock of the situation, my right hand, originally holding onto the strap of my handbag at my shoulder was now a fist 6 inches from his face and we were staring at each other's eyes without moving.

There was a rather uncomfortable silence and the two guys went off and sort of nervously laughed. I initially felt a little bit stupid, thinking that I had over-reacted until it occurred to me quite what they were expecting from me.

i assume you're a lady as you mention a handbag, not very nice for you to experience from idiot males, but i've lost count of the number of times some idiots have done pretty much that to me in middle of the night when i used to walk home from work or something, this was by the side of a park with lots of hedges along the road, and i'm all male, ugly n mean lookin' anyway it happened so many times that the last time it happened (that i can remember) instead of my silently stepping around them and shaking my head in disgust walking on i just remarked 'exactly, it's another hour for your night bus, cheerio' i dont recall seeing them again.

[loginandtonic]

I think I may have discovered why someone reckons Swedish girls in nightclubs are slimmer than gals in British nightclubs...They are bulemic!

on a slight tangent, the scariest part of that story for me is that it was well over 20 years ago and yet it seems like yesterday, where has the time gone

[euan2020]

last summer lass from work was in dubai for week with work

5 times arabs came up to her and asked her to come to their room for sex

i reckon they think all westerners are prostitutes

1 time in the bar one group wouldnt accept she didnt want to speak to them and one groped her from the front

Libya - been down there 10 times - even locals wont take their wives to sea/pool because guys just sit and stare

local guys had even thrown stones at couples when guys were out walking with their girl friends (british teachers)

[Executive Sadman]

"Cripples", that is not a nice term is it, disabled is the right term. One day you will get old yourself and may be disabled, maybe someone you love may become disabled!!

People have called me worse!

Actually they havent, but i wouldnt blame them.