Anxiety when public speaking

[desertorchid]

Quote

Or learn from the Very Very Best. First 1 minute is sufficient

 

[ianb78]

Propranolol eradicates performance anxiety

 

blocks adrenaline so you don't get any symptoms of anxiety - shaky voice, dry mouth etc and can concentrate on what you're saying

 

truly a miracle drug

[200p]

1 hour ago, LiveinHope said:

And for a motivational speaker who better than HPC's favourite

And he's spruced up his website

Just follow this enthusiastic example, and you'll be fine....or not

 

Lol that haunts this forum.... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/property/article-2047433/The-3m-house-sold-extreme-discount.html

[frozen_out]

This is one where you just fake it until you become it. As Nietzsche said 'logically, there is no difference between having confidence and pretending to have confidence'.

[SillyBilly]

I have an odd relationship with public speaking. Sometimes I just feel comfortable in a room, comfortable with the audience and I can talk as freely as if I was speaking 1-to-1. Other times, I am unsettled by my surroundings, unsettled by the audience and become way too concious and self-aware and I really struggle. I know this game is played in my head but it is frustrating as I am never sure who is going to turn up. Public speaking is definitely mind over matter.

I must admit I hate introductions as the time to prepare as you work around the room does me no favours, only gives me time to over analyse what I am going to say and how to deliver it. Usually with poor results. I am the sort of person who would prefer to come straight through a door and immediately to the lecturn, having had a moment to gee myself up beforehand privately. Again, this is all in my mind, for whatever reason I have determined what I feel "safe" with and what I don't and after a while it becomes self-reinforcing.  If I don't like the set-up I won't perform as well.

I often find I start nervously but after a couple of sentences I tend to find my voice, my rhythm and my comfort and can then deliver in confidence. Hence I don't like introductions as my impression is a couple of sentences only!

Personally I'd avoid a job if I had to do it regularly, not because of the trial itself incidentally but because I'd know my evenings would be spent worrying about my delivery. It is never as bad as you think it will be, just the expended worrying energy you don't get back. Having said that, as others point out I guess if you do it all the time it becomes 2nd nature in itself.

Overall, I feel I am good enough with respect to the few occasions I have to do it for work but not something I relish! I fully sympathise with the OP though, you are not alone, very normal I think.

 

 

 

[SillyBilly]

I have watched a couple of motivational speakers/public speaker trainers and the complete lack of any charisma in all cases led to me being bored instantaneously and switching off. There is a natural charisma you can't fake as well. I tend to have a low opinion of these sorts of consultants, perhaps unfairly.

[Shamus]

I don't get much practice for public speaking but my overall confidence got better mid 30's. And this is from someone who had a had stammer as a child and young adult. 

[monks]

Things that have made it worse for me over the years:

Bad diet, lack of exercise, alcohol, excess sugar, drugs, general lack of confidence in other areas of my life, not being prepared, too much coffee

Things that make it better:

Having a good set of notes to refer to, regular exercise but definitely cardio exercise the morning before (outdoor running best for me), good food, banana a couple of hours before, propranolol (can get from doctor or buy online cheap enough - 10mg is enough for me now), plenty of water in diet, preparation including several out loud "read throughs" in my lounge the night before (like a mad man, ha ha ha)

[LiveinHope]

2 hours ago, SillyBilly said:

I have watched a couple of motivational speakers/public speaker trainers and the complete lack of any charisma in all cases led to me being bored instantaneously and switching off. There is a natural charisma you can't fake as well. I tend to have a low opinion of these sorts of consultants, perhaps unfairly.

To be a motivational speaker you actually have to have done something first, many haven't.

 

[wherebee]

1 hour ago, LiveinHope said:

To be a motivational speaker you actually have to have done something first, many haven't.

 

very good point.

[RichM]

Final word on this would be CBT. Cognitive model of social anxiety, DM Clark. Pdfs are out there. 

[StainlessSteelCat]

I used to hate public speaking, now I'm relatively OK with it and have got to the point where I regularly present/train people - even without notes. 

For me, the epiphany came when I went to a workshop with 30 other people I didn't know and we were asked to speak for two minutes on anything we liked. I was at the end of the queue and almost completely dried up in 30 seconds. The worst had happened, but it didn't matter. 

1. Know your topic. You don't have to be an expert, but know a little more than the average person in the room. 

2. Consider leaving obvious areas for people to ask questions about.  

3. Rehearse. 2-3 times at least. Maybe the opening phrases 5+ times. I do this by mumbling it sub-vocally while cycling along. You have to speak out loud to check phrases flow. 

4. Most people are admiring of those who can speak publicly at all. 

5. Try to connect with a few different individuals in the audience. Just make eye contact for a 10 seconds, and then move to someone else in a different quadrant in the audience. 

6. Practice. Start with small groups of supportive colleagues and grow from there.  I moved from tightly scripted Powerpoint to conversational and no notes/slides through practicing as a guest lecturer at a local university. Usually there were no more than 8 students at a time.  Another time we were visiting my missus' longhouse in the rainforest in Borneo- and I was asked to speak to the longhouse (remember not all of them understood English) with no notice at all. I ended up making something off the cuff about education (very important to Iban culture)  and it seemed to go down well.  I think I may have even referenced Blair's "Education, education, education" phrase. I don't like Blair, the Iban have a surprising amount of respect for our prime ministers so it was fine. 

7. Have stock phrases you can go to if things go wrong. One of mine is "Never work with children, animals [pause] or technology - which is a kinda problem given our field" - I work in a vaguely tech field. It's a lame joke, but buys you some time and usually gets a bit of a smile. 

8. Allow yourself prep time at the venue. For some reason, clickers to advance slides often don't work for me. Once I was presenting to 400 people at a conference and the clicker wouldn't work. I called out the AV technician at the back by name and asked them to advance the slides. I had introduced myself beforehand, and got to know them - and thanked them afterwards. 

9. Don't try to fix everything at once. But just slowly try to improve over time. Add/fix no more than one thing each time. 

[Mikhail Liebenstein]

On 03/04/2017 at 10:40 PM, One-percent said:

Yes, I think it's quite common. The secret is to not give a sh!t. Seriously, the more importance you place on the event, the worse it will be.  

Agreed.

Also, never speak on a subject about which you know nothing.  If you can speak from experience or the heart it will be authentic. The only exception to the rule is if you are a top grade actor/entertainer /public speaker.  

I've always enjoyed public speaking myself. and have been blessed with a good memory and fast understanding on technical matters, so I do sometimes step off into the deep end, but  on the whole I have found most audiences don't really know the technical detail - so keeping things high level actually works best anyway.

Also don't try any humour - it normally doesn't work and can go wrong.

[frozen_out]

13 hours ago, Mikhail Liebenstein said:

Agreed.

Also, never speak on a subject about which you know nothing.  If you can speak from experience or the heart it will be authentic. The only exception to the rule is if you are a top grade actor/entertainer /public speaker.  

I've always enjoyed public speaking myself. and have been blessed with a good memory and fast understanding on technical matters, so I do sometimes step off into the deep end, but  on the whole I have found most audiences don't really know the technical detail - so keeping things high level actually works best anyway.

Also don't try any humour - it normally doesn't work and can go wrong.

I've done a joke during a presentation once - a play on words in German (German audience), with the punchline being that the joke wasn't funny. Took balls of steel. One of my finest moments though.

[ccc]

I get rather annoyed on a group call when running through the attendees by pressing whatever code it is for the roll call.

Easily half of people can't even say their own name clearly into a ******ing telephone !! The amount of mumbling is ridiculous.

"Please say your name after the tone"

It's not difficult 

I always say my name and area for this. When the roll is played back i impress myself with how clear and confident I sound compared to most others.

I'm new so i don't have a clue of course. I sound like i do though.

[200p]

Give me an hour to talk about the rigged housing market and the monetary system. It won't be enough grrrh!

[200p]

This man can speak for hours in front of 1000s about Lizards

 

[pl1]

Nobody's mentioned Toastmasters a charity setup for just this kind of thing. I think they are all over the UK so you should be able to find one local to you. You can practice public speaking with like minded people in a controlled environment as I understand it. Let people know if you go down this route.

https://www.toastmasters.org