'men's Suicide Risk Goes Up Once They Reach 30 As Job Markets Change

[200p]

ah ah but who needs a woman when you have btl and who needs a man when you have btl.

Who needs a JOB when you have btl.

I think we have a universal solution.

[200p]

Strength and size doesn't guarantee survival. The only constant in the universe is change. Adapt to the environment or die.

[Jail Them All]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2205826/Why-mens-suicide-danger-goes-reach-30.html

'Men in their 30s, 40s and 50s are at the highest risk of suicide, with the changing job market and family breakdowns leaving them in turmoil about their role in life, a study has found.

About 3,000 men aged between 30 and 60 take their own lives each year. This is more than twice the rate among young men – those in their late teens and 20s – who used to be the highest-risk group.

The group of men most at risk, many born during the Swinging Sixties, are described as a ‘buffer generation’ – unsure whether to behave like their traditionally masculine fathers or younger men who are more in touch with their feelings.

Experts say cultural changes, such as the decline of traditional masculine jobs and lifelong marriages, have challenged the men’s sense of ‘masculine pride and identity’. Men in the 35-55 age group also tend to be more dependent on their partner for emotional support than women are, and have fewer friends outside marriage, so they take divorce and separation harder, according to the report from the Samaritans.

Working-class men have been affected by recent rises in unemployment and the shift to a service economy which values people skills. They are ten times more likely to kill themselves than affluent men.

Stephen Platt, professor of health policy at Edinburgh University, said: ‘We’re thinking of the rise in female employment, births outside marriage, the rise in divorce and cohabitation, second and subsequent marriages, lone parent households, step-families, solo living, partnering and de-partnering.

‘All these trends mean that men are less likely to be with a lifelong partner, and if you ally that with their difficulties in coping emotionally and being able to go out and establish new relationships with less support to fall back on than women, that makes them more vulnerable to psychological ill health and suicide.’

Until eight years ago, men aged 15 to 35 had the highest suicide rate, along with elderly people, but both of these have gone down, while suicides in mid-life, particularly the 35-to-55 age group, have gone up.

Professor Platt, a trustee of the charity, added: ‘One of the problems for men is this need to aspire to a kind of gold standard of masculinity which is often very difficult to meet.

‘The current generation of men are often called the buffer generation. They are caught between an older generation which is more silent, more resilient, less expecting to deal with emotions openly and a younger generation who are more used to expressing emotions in an open way.’

Rory O’Connor, one of the authors, a professor of psychology at Stirling University, said this generation may carry a higher suicide risk with them throughout their lives – what scientists call a ‘cohort effect’.

He said: ‘Suicide is the ultimate response to feeling trapped. The male role is less well defined than it was 20, 30 years ago and men have great difficulty responding to the challenge of how we define ourselves as men.’

The report recommends better education to help young people cope with life stresses and helping healthcare workers identify those known to be at high risk of suicide such as heavy drinkers.'

noone's having kids,everyone's gonna top themselves.the women are alll looking for someone who earns more than them somehow missing the point that they've nicked a lot of the good jobs.

problems,problems

How many men have been denied access to their children because the court system dictates that the mother should have custody? How many women have been awarded the matrimonial home whilst their ex's pay the mortgage and live in flats? How many are distressed because their finances won't add up to their outgoings?

[porca misèria]

The last 8 years ... that's approximately since we've been in recession, as measured by jobs.

Before that it was younger men.

Sounds like jobs could be a big influence. In your 20s and early 30s you're on the rise: you may be struggling now but things will improve with seniority. That rosy prospect crumbles away as you move into mid-career: very few will rise much further after that. While after 55 the risk falls as you cruise towards retirement.

[Giordano Bruno]

The last 8 years ... that's approximately since we've been in recession, as measured by jobs.

Before that it was younger men.

Sounds like jobs could be a big influence. In your 20s and early 30s you're on the rise: you may be struggling now but things will improve with seniority. That rosy prospect crumbles away as you move into mid-career: very few will rise much further after that. While after 55 the risk falls as you cruise towards retirement.

I agree about the importance of jobs. In my own life, when I lost a job I got depressed and the main thing that lifted me out of depression was getting another job. Having a job makes all the difference.

[Daveky]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment and isn't going to deliver what you always hoped in your youth. Then the divorce hits and the prospect of getting any decent poon to replace the wife evaporates as you realise that fat, bald middle aged blokes with few assets supporting a broken family aren't number one on most women's desirability list. You then find yourself renting a two bed flat/terraced house while your contempories are selling their 4 bed detached slave box to move into the country as they've just got the Directorship and new Jag. Work puts you on a 3 month consultation period as they've got to cut the overhead due to poor management decisions made 5 years previously by the guy who walked away with the £500k payoff. Then as you see the kids once a month (they are teens so it's a bit of an inconvenience to make time inbetween face booking and tweeting to see you) you hear the ex has moved a new fella into the former marital home and he's got a well smart car and is renting out his 4 bed detached while banging your ex nightly. All you can see is the banality stretching out to retirement and suicide starts to look more attractive daily.

[Tonkers]

I must be an angel! I picked up a 'used model, ex showroom' after his divorce and now I am the main breadwinner while he learns new skills. Difficult transitioning but worth every minute in the end.

I needed someone who was not naive!

[dustbinlidsid]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment and isn't going to deliver what you always hoped in your youth. Then the divorce hits and the prospect of getting any decent poon to replace the wife evaporates as you realise that fat, bald middle aged blokes with few assets supporting a broken family aren't number one on most women's desirability list. You then find yourself renting a two bed flat/terraced house while your contempories are selling their 4 bed detached slave box to move into the country as they've just got the Directorship and new Jag. Work puts you on a 3 month consultation period as they've got to cut the overhead due to poor management decisions made 5 years previously by the guy who walked away with the £500k payoff. Then as you see the kids once a month (they are teens so it's a bit of an inconvenience to make time inbetween face booking and tweeting to see you) you hear the ex has moved a new fella into the former marital home and he's got a well smart car and is renting out his 4 bed detached while banging your ex nightly. All you can see is the banality stretching out to retirement and suicide starts to look more attractive daily.

+infinity

[Gone baby gone]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment and isn't going to deliver what you always hoped in your youth. Then the divorce hits and the prospect of getting any decent poon to replace the wife evaporates as you realise that fat, bald middle aged blokes with few assets supporting a broken family aren't number one on most women's desirability list. You then find yourself renting a two bed flat/terraced house while your contempories are selling their 4 bed detached slave box to move into the country as they've just got the Directorship and new Jag. Work puts you on a 3 month consultation period as they've got to cut the overhead due to poor management decisions made 5 years previously by the guy who walked away with the £500k payoff. Then as you see the kids once a month (they are teens so it's a bit of an inconvenience to make time inbetween face booking and tweeting to see you) you hear the ex has moved a new fella into the former marital home and he's got a well smart car and is renting out his 4 bed detached while banging your ex nightly. All you can see is the banality stretching out to retirement and suicide starts to look more attractive daily.

Don't do it Daveky, get down from that bridge!!

Seriously though I agree with your portrayal. This is reality for a small, but growing group of men.

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

Isn't there already a long thread about this? Or did it lose the will to live?

[Argoed]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment and isn't going to deliver what you always hoped in your youth. Then the divorce hits and the prospect of getting any decent poon to replace the wife evaporates as you realise that fat, bald middle aged blokes with few assets supporting a broken family aren't number one on most women's desirability list. You then find yourself renting a two bed flat/terraced house while your contempories are selling their 4 bed detached slave box to move into the country as they've just got the Directorship and new Jag. Work puts you on a 3 month consultation period as they've got to cut the overhead due to poor management decisions made 5 years previously by the guy who walked away with the £500k payoff. Then as you see the kids once a month (they are teens so it's a bit of an inconvenience to make time inbetween face booking and tweeting to see you) you hear the ex has moved a new fella into the former marital home and he's got a well smart car and is renting out his 4 bed detached while banging your ex nightly. All you can see is the banality stretching out to retirement and suicide starts to look more attractive daily.

Then you win the lottery and tell them all to FO . I like a happy ending !

[200p]

Or they channel their energies into buying a motorbike or take up fishing I suggest.

[Jail Them All]

Then you win the lottery and tell them all to FO . I like a happy ending !

Then they come after you for their share. Keep dreaming though.

[durhamborn]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment and isn't going to deliver what you always hoped in your youth. Then the divorce hits and the prospect of getting any decent poon to replace the wife evaporates as you realise that fat, bald middle aged blokes with few assets supporting a broken family aren't number one on most women's desirability list. You then find yourself renting a two bed flat/terraced house while your contempories are selling their 4 bed detached slave box to move into the country as they've just got the Directorship and new Jag. Work puts you on a 3 month consultation period as they've got to cut the overhead due to poor management decisions made 5 years previously by the guy who walked away with the £500k payoff. Then as you see the kids once a month (they are teens so it's a bit of an inconvenience to make time inbetween face booking and tweeting to see you) you hear the ex has moved a new fella into the former marital home and he's got a well smart car and is renting out his 4 bed detached while banging your ex nightly. All you can see is the banality stretching out to retirement and suicide starts to look more attractive daily.

That sums it up.However a lot is to do with attitude and also smelling the roses.I had good jobs in my 20s and early 30s,but i knew they wouldnt last so i made sure i paid the house off.I also made sure i never got married.Lived with plenty but never ever would i marry them.Iv had the lot over the years.The one who was cheating etc.

However due to the fact i owned the house and wasnt married it was a simple case of saying off you go then,out the door in around 2 hours.

Never bothered me because although upsetting i always saw things like that as a chance to move on.I never saw it as a partner leaving,but as the fact it was only a matter of time before someone else was going up those stairs:).

As for jobs etc again never bothered me.Invested plenty in the good times,and with no debts and a house drops in income made no difference to me at all.In fact i always loved getting made redundant.Free money and a chance to have a year out enjoying my hobbies.

I always planned for what might/probably would happen and it always did.

I think the thing it shows is that its debt and housing that causes it.Make sure you have no debt and they cant ever steal your house and the jobs a good one.

Always amazed me that a boss would think you were bothered and sad that they had just given you £30k to not have to go back.The happiest days iv ever had apart from the birth of my children are when iv signed a redundancy and cashed the money and when iv seen a high maintenance woman walk out with her bin bags.

Then again as a HPCer i suppose we are a different breed to most.

[tinker]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment...

Poignant, and hits the nail on the head for 'lost' men.

[Guest eight]

It's tough in your 40s and 50s when it finally dawns that life is one big disappointment and isn't going to deliver what you always hoped in your youth. Then the divorce hits and the prospect of getting any decent poon to replace the wife evaporates as you realise that fat, bald middle aged blokes with few assets supporting a broken family aren't number one on most women's desirability list. You then find yourself renting a two bed flat/terraced house while your contempories are selling their 4 bed detached slave box to move into the country as they've just got the Directorship and new Jag. Work puts you on a 3 month consultation period as they've got to cut the overhead due to poor management decisions made 5 years previously by the guy who walked away with the £500k payoff. Then as you see the kids once a month (they are teens so it's a bit of an inconvenience to make time inbetween face booking and tweeting to see you) you hear the ex has moved a new fella into the former marital home and he's got a well smart car and is renting out his 4 bed detached while banging your ex nightly. All you can see is the banality stretching out to retirement and suicide starts to look more attractive daily.

Jesus. After reading that I'm ready to top meself.

[durhamborn]

very true

we have a different outlook to roughly 95%+ of the population and when theyve become bearish I'll consider becoming bullish

very very true.

My present partners next door neighbour has just split with the hubby.They bought for 24k around 15 years ago (north east) and MEWed up to £75k now,the usual of course,3 holidays to Florida,a new kitchen,pay off credit cards etc,,you all know the script.

He is now unemployed and living in a horrid little flat in a terrible area.She can just about pay the mortgage and survive ,tax credits of course,but they end next year when the youngest is 18.

She decided to sell instead and clear the debts.Bank wont let him off the mortgage because its now borderline NegEquity,she is paying it.She might just get enough to clear the mortgage,but there will be no extra and probably a shortfall of 10k with costs,if it sells.

So a couple who got a house for 24k 15 years ago will now both be in their mid 40s with nothing.Best wages they can hope for around here £1000 a month take home,rents £400 a month and access to benefits ending next year.

They should of been sitting pretty,instead MEWing to see Donald Duck has ensured the rest of their lives will be poverty and struggle.The divorce hasnt finished them,they could of each had £35k to buy a house up here where plenty are available for £60k but thanks to MEWing they are stuffed.

It will take 20 years for all of these to run through the system.Masses of people in their 40s and 50s who thanks to binging when they should of been paying the house off will have nothing for the rest of their lives.

These arent the young who never had a chance.These are people who got houses cheap,who should of been at the worst stable,but instead thanks to the crowd madness are stuffed.

[200p]

Indian women wear their wealth in jewellery in case the man takes it all.

Western men are about to complete the circle. Buy some jewellery lads!

[Britney's Piers]

Then you win the lottery and tell them all to FO . I like a happy ending !

That's just the exhaust fumes sending you delirious.

very true

we have a different outlook to roughly 95%+ of the population and when theyve become bearish I'll consider becoming bullish

Agreed, many men will think they "did everything right" after all, and be bewildered how it could have happened to them, which only compounds the depression.

Edited September 20, 2012 by Britney's Piers

[200p]

Dowry - A dowry may also have served as a form of protection for the wife against the possibility of ill treatment by her husband and his family.

The male dowry coming soon.

[workhou]

The last 8 years ... that's approximately since we've been in recession, as measured by jobs.

Before that it was younger men.

Sounds like jobs could be a big influence. In your 20s and early 30s you're on the rise: you may be struggling now but things will improve with seniority. That rosy prospect crumbles away as you move into mid-career: very few will rise much further after that. While after 55 the risk falls as you cruise towards retirement.

It's jobs. Men aged 35+ know how much they are getting creamed when you are still getting the same hourly rate that you got when you were 20 -you know things ain't right!! When you can't even get a full week's work because of the flexible labour market you can't make plans ,or do anything so you can't provide security to any women never-mind look forward to pay increases that might have occurred under unionised employment (improving you situation). When you hit 35 you come to the realisation that things will not be changing, employers can take younger workers and you have no assets left. If you have kids your tied to the local area and have to pay for them on the pittance employers can now get away with paying. I dare say younger men are in the same boat they just don't know it yet. F**king great isnt'it!

Edited September 20, 2012 by workhou

[Argoed]

That's just the exhaust fumes sending you delirious.

Daveky's portrayal too close to the truth for comfort. What could be worse than moving from a comfortable home into some grotty flat whilst you watch the philandering ex move her boyfriend into the very house you sweated to buy and continue to maintain. If redundancy in the 40's follows in the aftermath you'd have to be a very tough nut to emerge unscathed. I saw this very thing happen to a close relative and it destroyed him.

When they chopped me, I moved out of UK Ltd. Chopped her soon therafter and often looked back, but not with remorse.

Agreed, many men will think they "did everything right" after all, and be bewildered how it could have happened to them, which only compounds the depression.

[RufflesTheGuineaPig]

How many men have been denied access to their children because the court system dictates that the mother should have custody? How many women have been awarded the matrimonial home whilst their ex's pay the mortgage and live in flats? How many are distressed because their finances won't add up to their outgoings?

Agreed. It's largely due to the way may are treated by the legal system following divorce.

For a woman, one she has the kids she wants, she doesn't need the husband around. She can divorce him and he still has to support her. She has no incentive to make ANY effort in the relationship.

For a man if your wife divorces you, your life is over. You now exist purely for her benefit.

[davidg]

In my own life, when I lost a job I got depressed and the main thing that lifted me out of depression was getting another job. Having a job makes all the difference.

Isn't that the lyric to a Smiths song?

[macca]

I think the only thing keeping the young men from suicide is the faith system that life has something great awaiting them, the only difference being that younger people have much higher expectations and are still going out partying, boozing and spending on gadgets to realise how dull life can be.