hp72 Posted July 14, 2017 Share Posted July 14, 2017 Was playing with my kids and doing word play with spoonerisms, e.g. "smart fellas" becomes "fart smellers" which makes them laugh. My middle kid, 6, now does it automatically and gets them instantly. All good when intentional, but not when I said I was a "bit shattered".. Anyway, went onto HPC and, as I was in the brain gear, picked up on the rather apt " buy to let" becoming "lie to bet". Any other favorites? Note to mods: not sure if the rude ones breach decency laws on the site. E.g. Friar Tuck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Bear Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 Lie to bet is a good one! I still like the old ones from the original Spooner of New College, Oxford, though all the sources I've seen say they are probably apocryphal. 'A well boiled icicle,' and, 'You have hissed all my mystery lessons and tasted a whole worm.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blobloblob Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 I used to know someone with a pet moggy called Cooking Fat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hp72 Posted July 16, 2017 Author Share Posted July 16, 2017 8 hours ago, Mrs Bear said: Lie to bet is a good one! I still like the old ones from the original Spooner of New College, Oxford, though all the sources I've seen say they are probably apocryphal. 'A well boiled icicle,' and, 'You have hissed all my mystery lessons and tasted a whole worm.' I bumped into someone today from that college who related to them. Was his birthday so he was a little intoxicated. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Bear Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 11 hours ago, blobloblob said: I used to know someone with a pet moggy called Cooking Fat. I swear I've seen a birthday card ages ago using that one! Probably bought it for my brother - SiL is a cat lover and often has a few aged foster-cats as well as her own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeryMeanReversion Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Kenny Everetts "Cupid stunt" is a favourite of mine. Or.... some HPC related... Lad moans = Mad Loans Brash Cad = Crash Bad Dome Head = Home Dead Had Mouse = Mad House My wife calls me a "shining wit". Now I know what she meant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shrink Proof Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 4 hours ago, VeryMeanReversion said: My wife calls me a "shining wit". Now I know what she meant. IIRC, that was one of Jasper Carrot's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Bear Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Not quite the same thing, but I always liked Oscar Wilde's 'Work is the curse of the drinking classes.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hail the Tripod Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 15 hours ago, hp72 said: I bumped into someone today from that college who related to them. Was his birthday so he was a little intoxicated. X Or as he would say, "Plucking fastered". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord D'arcy Pew Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 In dye gone bays getting a whole flock of bats was easy, just tell a lack of pies. But I was greedy with the mad bunny and my bones went lad. I lost my nosey little cook, who now will tease my ears? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orsino Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Bank of Dum and Mad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmin Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Jobby hogger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmin Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 On 17/07/2017 at 6:58 PM, Lord D'arcy Pew said: In dye gone bays getting a whole flock of bats was easy, just tell a lack of pies. But I was greedy with the mad bunny and my bones went lad. I lost my nosey little cook, who now will tease my ears? That's a blushing crow to the lie to betters. It just goes to show that the Lord is a shoving leopard. I have in my heart a half-warmed fish that such Bulgarians will be vanished. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord D'arcy Pew Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Deleted Content Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord D'arcy Pew Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 2 hours ago, Kosmin said: That's a blushing crow to the lie to betters. It just goes to show that the Lord is a shoving leopard. I have in my heart a half-warmed fish that such Bulgarians will be vanished. I'm living on not poodles, what a mucking fuddle. "Pawed L'arcy Dew" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmin Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 1 hour ago, Lord D'arcy Pew said: I'm living on not poodles, what a mucking fuddle. "Pawed L'arcy Dew" Disgusting! Just thinking about this makes me want to go and shake a tower. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hp72 Posted July 19, 2017 Author Share Posted July 19, 2017 Ironically, "let's go" becomes "gets slow" phonetically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmin Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 9 hours ago, hp72 said: Ironically, "let's go" becomes "gets slow" phonetically. A bit like this thread. Everyone is looking at the BBC lay pissed thread instead it seems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmin Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 The US lifts laptop ban on rowdy suits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquid Goldfish Posted July 28, 2017 Share Posted July 28, 2017 Shaft of Wit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funn3r Posted July 28, 2017 Share Posted July 28, 2017 Pint of shitter bandy please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crashmonitor Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 Now I know why I was never an intellect, my dad never played the spoonerisms game with me. Absolutely not a wordsmith, so I cheated.......... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/spoonerisms-best-spooner-lines/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosmin Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 7 minutes ago, crashmonitor said: Now I know why I was never an intellect, my dad never played the spoonerisms game with me. Absolutely not a wordsmith, so I cheated.......... Hiss and lear, you're one of the wiser posters on here, so that sounds like a lack of pies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hp72 Posted September 17, 2017 Author Share Posted September 17, 2017 Houses in Hampshire are on the market for ages with large reductions. Looks like "For Sale" => "Sore Fail" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronyx Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 This thread is superb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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