The XYY Man

The "plebs" who do the production work in the factory that employs me as an engineer work twice as hard and for longer hours than me, and their reward is that they earn less than half my salary. Just like me, you've probably never known a hard day's work in your life, yet you dismiss those who make that possible as "plebs" and state that they love benefits - Switch places with them mate, and you'll soon realise that they NEED benefits just to live a basic life. You should count your blessings pal, and if by your expression "chippy" you are suggesting that those who you deride have a chip on their shoulder, I'm guessing that just like their salary, their chip is nowhere near the size of yours. XYY

I can deliver...but it'll cost ya forty quid... XYY

WATSON: Oh no Holmes, we've been burgled...!!! HOLMES: Indeed Watson, probably by a lesbian. WATSON: Really Holmes, how on earth can you tell...? HOLMES: It's a lemon entry my dear Watson... XYY

Easy problems to fix with a bit of "thinking outside the box" Maybe with a bit of creative marketing, they could diversify and create a whole new market for wheelchair and mobility scooter insurance. And othey could try and attract the more careful chavs in Corsas with a competeitive no-maim bonus... Simples.... XYY

I hope you're right ken, and yes, the countries you name are already taking up the "slack" that you refer to. You might also want to include locations such as Singapore. Problem is, in some sectors - microcontrollers for example - the "slack" that needs filling is 60% of world supply. And the way these devices are made means that even if all these moth-balled factories go into 24/7 production tomorrow, there will be a black-hole of no parts available for months. There are a lot of products out there crammed full of Japanese microcontrollers - every control system on a modern car is absolutely dependant on them - and those without the "clout" of Apple may not be able to get their grubby paws on them. Interesting times ahead... XYY

The Japanese situation is being played down by a huge factor by the media. A large chunk of the global supply chain for many products needed by many industries is knackered. Those on here who know how to make money speculating on the short-term performance of companies could probably make a fortune. Those of us who don't, and whose livelihood depends on this supply chain (myself included) are facing an interesting and challenging future... XYY

Friend, I sincerely hope that neither you nor anyone else will ever be dumb enough to forget Peter Mandelson... "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone..." - "The Usual Suspects" (1995) XYY

Yeah, right!!! - More like the coalition's cuts have proven to the IMF that our quintisential Britishness means that we will accept a much bigger shafting than Johnny Foreigner and still refrain from widespread rioting. To paraphrase Corporal Jones from "Dad's Army", WE certainly DO seem to like it up us - which is just as well really, considering the current rather large and unlubricated one that our Dunkirk Spirit compels us to accept being shoved further up our collective chocolate starfishes each and every day. XYY

Go girl...!!! Writing to the Guardian is the new rioting... XYY

Oh the joy of these "public versus private" threads.... Having never worked in the public sector, I can offer no comment as to the amount of "bone idle" people there may or may not be, but I can certainly speak with some experience about the private sector. It is very easy to do nowt in the private sector and get away with it - and in many cases achieve promotion(s). You simply need to learn the private sector rules.... 1) Always LOOK and ACT as if you are very busy at all times. 2) Clock in before the boss. 3) Back-stab everyone you possibly can, especially if they are not there to defend themselves. 4) Keep a second coat at work and leave it on the back of your chair when you leave the building at night - the casual observer will think that you are still at work 5) Get invited to as many meetings as you possibly can. 6) Walk around in a purposeful manner whilst holding a piece of paper in front of you. 7) Learn ALL the buzzwords and buzz-phrases (proactive, going forward, thinking outside the box, etc etc) 8) Do not actually do any job you are given - just let them pile up. Continue to practice all the previous rules and, on the rare occasion someone actually shouts about a job you haven't completed, promise you'll have done ASAP - this system will guarantee that you only do what needs doing, i.e. the bare minimum. 9) Make sure that if anyone leaves the company, you waste no opportunity to blame them for all of your balls-ups. Keep this going for at least six months after their departure. 10) Clock out after the boss XYY

Since we proved such excellent scapegoats thus far - why not blame us smokers...??? XYY

Introduce me to this dog that can sh!te pound coins mate and I'll tease them out with me tongue... XYY

A fortune you say - Think I might try my hand at that... XYY

True - but the music was better... XYY

It was beautiful, wasn't it? - let's hope it was a world title eliminator and the winner now gets a shot at Peter Mandelson. And with regards to hoping that Labour get elected, does it really matter seeing that Mandy will be in running the show whatever the outcome... XYY

Fanx

Thanks very much, I thought it was time to make an appearance now that I can afford the internet again - After 5 months on the rock'n'roll, I've finally found myself a job... XYY

Interesting hypothesis you've got there Enoch - will the North-East be eaten up by Quangostan, or become part of the Republic of Scotland...??? X "why-aye" Man

"You great... soft... sissy... girlie... nancy... french... bender... Man-United supporting POOF!!" - DCI Gene Hunt XYY

As much as I abhor the death penalty, I will second your nomination as long as you will make a promise. In the case of Mandelson, you will get the weight of the victim versus the likelyhood of a slow painful death calculation badly wrong... XYY

You do? Excellent...!!! Will you tell my nana that I wished I'd bought her council house...

Not to my satisfaction it won't. The truth is that me and my fellow Hartlepudlians would vote for anything that appeared under the Labour banner. We trusted the Labour party to act in our interests, as the political arm of the working man and the union movement. Little did we suspect that it had been hijacked by the very people we despised. Indeed, the selection of a "heavyweight" such as Mandy as our prospective MP, gave the town a kudos it had never before enjoyed - and propelled a down-trodden community in the North-East straight into the epicentre of the British political scene. Blair did the same for Sedgefield. We got exactly what we deserved for our folly, and, as with all the other times that our community has been "sold down the river", we must accept our share of the blame. But that doesn't mean that we are Mandy's bitch, and to dismiss us a such would be an even greater folly... XYY

Now I know for certain that you're NOT Mandelson - snorting coke I can accept, but the real Mandy ain't ever been near Mrs Slocombe's finest... XYY

I'm assuming you're not really Mandelson mate, but in the unlikely event that you are, I have the following spleen to vent. You describe yourself as the "Baron of Hartlepool and Foy" - I think you need educating on that subject. Now I ain't got no clue as to what "Foy" is (though you probably like it 'cos it rhymes with "boy") but I am damn sure what Hartlepool is. And if you ever dare walk around the splendid borough that I call home and announce yourself as our "Baron", you will quickly find yourself in dire need of the health service that you and your bum-chum mates seem hell bent on destroying. Fu*k off to whatever womb of a jackal you crawled out of and take your c*ck-sucking, spin-doctoring, mincing, double-dealing, lying, cheating, stealing and pilfering friends with you. (Spleen vented, have a nice day...) XYY