The XYY Man

So if they are "the most powerful nation on Earth", then exactly who the f*ck do they owe the money to...? And unless their creditors are not of this Earth, then exactly what are they going to do if "the most powerful nation on Earth" says shove the bill up your ****...? This "most powerful" concept does not hold up to scrutiny, and requires further discussion... XYY

The councillors get back-handers from the major retailers in exchange for bringing in charges for parking to soften up the competition. The councillors then get more back-handers from the major supermarkets for planning consent for "out-of-town" supermarkets with free parking. The councillors then get even more back-handers for allowing the major supermarket chains to buy out distressed local shops and then give them planning permission to expand the corner shops and get alcohol licences etc. The councillors then.....oh, but surely now you must get the "big picture"....!!! XYY

Respect - there's some canny scores at Scrabble amongst that lot, mate...!!! XYY

Perhaps - or maybe Nick is just a p1ss-taking Brummy tw*t...!!! I do a pretty good Jock accent though - even proper Scots blokes have been fooled on the phone. Thing is that since radio and TV started, and UK-wide travel became quicker than a horse and cart, all regional accents and languages have softened to the point that pretty much anyone from any part of the UK can communicate easily. You can probably understand Ant and Dec just fine, but if I played you a recording of a North East accent from years ago - such as comedian Bobby Thompson - you might struggle. Welsh may be a fascinating and historical language, but like many others, it's getting assimilated into the world standard which - like it or lump it - is English. Which is just as well, as we English would be shagged otherwise.... XYY

But every time tell a story at work where I do a Welsh accent, my mate Nick buts in with "He was Indian then..." And when I regale them with some tale about what happened in the corner shop last Friday, my Indian accent results in a swift "So the shop's in Swansea then...?" (From Nick again...) Maybe finding some suitable call-centre droids won't be as difficult as you think boyo.... XYY

I got proper creamed with an endowment with Abbey Life, when I got my first mortgage in 1992. Even when there were loads of adverts on local radio for people who would buy your +12 year old endowment policy, as soon as I said it was with Abbey Life, they quickly hung up the phone and I swear they were giggling in the background. Apparently I'd bought one of the worst performers in the history of endowments... Thankfully I got them for mis-selling as I was single when I bought the house, but the 3 grand I got back in compo, plus the couple of thousand surrender value meant I still didn't really break even. Did get a canny new kitchen and a video projector with the cash though, so mustn't grumble... XYY (Er, actually, on reflection, I feel I really MUST grumble....Harumph, harumph!!!)

Howay marra, tha's nee way we'd talk weird up here in front o' strangers, tha' knaws.... XYY

Ain't had chance yet mate, but I am gonna have a look. Thanks for the link - I am seriously interested in this and will watch the vid, just as soon as Mrs XYY gives me the rest of the afternoon off... XYY EDITED TO ADD: Thanks to everyone who has contributed answers/videos/books/ to my post - If I've not answered it's only because I need some time to take it in and study some of the suggested material and not because I'm an ignorant Northern tw*t...!!! [Actually, on reflection I am an ignorant Northern tw*t,... ]

Well you just made my day too, 'cos I thought I was the only one who didn't understand, and was too scared to ask for fear of looking stupid... Been thinking about it and suddenly Switzerland popped into my (hungover) head. Nobody ever f*cks with them - Even Hitler went round them rather than through them. Lots of the rich and famous live there, and many actors you thought died years ago AND they've got that mad "hadron" thing that cost squillions and can apparently suck the whole world into some kind of Doctor Who sh1t - if you believe David Icke and his mates. Switzerland - that must be the answer... XYY

Oh dear, I still don't understand.... maybe I'm a bit thick, but specifically WHO do we owe the money to. One helpful f'ker said China - that could be correct for all I know, but I thought they were all peasants and we were supposedly the rich countries. Surely if one country is lending all the others money and charges them all interest, then that country should be dead rich compared to all the rest of us. I always thought America was the richest country, but people on here talk of them defaulting leading to me getting even more confused. Is my confusion perhaps due to the fact that I'm thinking in terms of "countries"...??? Or is it that we all borrow and lend to and from each other, and thus the country at the top is fluid as individual countries rise and fall due to their performance - kind of like the league table over a football season? Oh, and thanks for all the answers, and apologies if my cheeky title offended - it was meant to grab attention, hopefully so the best and brightest would contribute... XYY

OK, here we go.... We (Britain) borrow money and owe loads out. So do all the European countries. And so do America. And so does just everyone else as far as I can find out. So just who the fk do we all owe this money to...? I've heard about goverment borrowing since I was a small boy, and yet at 46 I still don't know who it is who lends out all this cash. Is there some pan-galactic Provident agent who comes knocking on the door of 10 Downing Street every Friday...? Please can someone explain - In very, very simple terms if that's possible - 'cos I'd really like to understand.... Thanks in advance, XYY

Er, yes they should do exactly that. Your starter for 10: Who signed the application form...? Oh, that's right - they did. If they are not capable of figuring out that they are being ripped-off and go and do something more productive instead, then they are hardly university material in the first place, now are they....? Anyone who borrows money for an education is certainly going to get a lesson of some description, but it won't be from Bamber f'kin Gascoigne... XYY

Lots of people throughout history have ended up with less than their parents. To blame this on these mythical beasts referred to as "boomers" is as laughable as it is pathetic. Looking for someone to blame for any misfortune in life should always begin in the same place - the mirror... XYY

"Say nowt Sharon - he'll be living in it after the divorce..." XYY

At the risk of being a little personal, do your plans include any provision for the pitter-patter of tiny feet arriving over the next few years...? This can have quite a dramatic effect, trust me.... XYY

Nothing a bit of competitive tendering won't sort out - as long as John Denver Airlines or Kennedy Atlantic put in the lowest bid.... XYY

Elvis, Lord Lucan and Shergar...? XYY

To anybody thinking of taking on some debt, here's some advice from one who's been there. Don't. I accept I will be in a very small minority saying "Don't" compared to your friends, family, colleagues etc, the majority of whom will probably tell you it's sounds like a plan. Don't. I'm about to tell you for the third and final time, and I really hope you are listening. Don't. XYY

I was born in 1965 and have an IQ measured at 137 - and I'm still skint... XYY

I was born in 1965 and have an IQ measured at 137 - and I'm still skint... XYY

The agency I rent my current abode from is actually offering £75 "cash-back" to anyone willing to sign-up for one of their many empty properties - big sign in the front window of several of them. Walk down street after street in my area, and you'll see as many boards on them as a London street at the height of the boom - except that now the "To Let" signs outnumber the "For Sale" ones. There isn't, and never has been any housing shortage, and anyone who says or thinks otherwise is deluded, or has an interest in making you believe it's true. The facts are that you could put every asylum seeker, East-European robot worker, illegal immigrant and p1ss-stained, cider-drinking, "Big Issue" selling, bag-head in the UK in an empty property tomorrow morning and there'd still be a few hundred thousand empty houses to spare. XYY

That is exactly what we are expected to do, ideally on PAYE where you have no real choice in the matter. You are also expected to work longer for less money and pay ever-increasing housing costs to keep the money heading up the pyramid. And the only way to get up the pyramid is to borrow at interest from those higher up and then employ those below to work even longer for even less money and even higher housing costs to maintain both your fragile status and that of those above you in the whole stinking pile of cack. Welcome to the biggest game of musical chairs on the planet, shame there won't be many chairs available when the music stops... XYY

Every year around the end of July, travelling showmen arrive in Hartlepool for the town Carnival. One of the most popular stalls is an amusement arcade with old mechanical "one-armed-bandits" which will only accept old (i.e. pre-decimal) pennies. The only person with the old pennies is the bloke who runs the stall. He sets an exchange rate of one-to-one, and will swap your decimal money for a supply of the old £SD stuff. If you have any left, he will give you back some decimal money at the same rate of exchange. There is a casino in Newcastle that does the same with coloured plastic discs. One thing that makes these micro-currencies work is that the transfer from one currency to the other attracts no commission or levy and there are therefore no middle-men taking a slice. And the other reason is the 1:1 exchange rate. People trust it, because any fiddles or jiggery-pokery are immediately obvious - even to your average Hartlepudlian. The games he plays in both establishments may be rigged, but losing his shirt in the house's chosen currency costs him nothing extra. Can the same also be said for "Proper" currencies....? XYY

My decision never to vote again doesn't really look in any danger if this bell-end and the other two chutney ferrets are all that's on offer... XYY

Surely just buying it, carefully demolishing it and selling all the REAL bricks, REAL wood and the 100% COPPER and/or LEAD plumbing would realise a decent enough profit....? Just a thought, like.... XYY