I'm Out For A Date Tonight...

[BearLite]

Why that phrase again?

I want to deflate the unrealistic and unfair expectations that alot of people carry.

I know so many people who have been made unhappy through these expectations.

It seems to have struck a chord here. If it was boring, three people would not have quoted it.

- -

"as soon as it becomes clear that a female specimen of the species don't have those aspects they loose interest fast. Guys think they want a sensible woman but the fact is, its just not sexy."

UNTRUE.

I have a wonderful girlfriend, who is clever and loving, and who through the example of her

own life demonstrates how life can be lived more fully by being herself, and not just aspiring

to what "women SHOULD want." I wish there were more like her. And maybe the woman in

the header, and many who post on HPC, and moved past that old female-seeking-security model

Who is it your making your appeal to on this forum Dr Bubb?

There haven't been any threads recently regarding a male being under pressure to buy from the wife or girlfriend.

I'm happy that you think many of the women are enlightened on HPC so it can't be us your appealing to. However, as one of your three qoutes happen to be placed by a man I have to disagree in your assertion that your striking a chord for the very reason that you are posting.

Mabye it's cultural on your part - or mabye it's to do with class, I agree there are women that I meet and read about who I find a tad grotesque. Far too materialistic. New York women for e.g, I have read that they are more interested in finding out what the mans occupation is on a date, to base whether or not they are suitable. But, there are men who deem these women thoroughbreds also. Like expensive goods with an expensive upkeep, only a high maintenance women will do because it fits on how they see themselves, and I'm talking about all of society.

Take the posts for what they are - a request to let lie to battle of the sexes. You are entilted to your opinion of course but I think you are more needed in deflating expectations and unfairness in the outside world you frequent.

[Converted Lurker]

Off out for a date tonight with what might be my perfect woman!

1. She thinks expensive cosmetics and designer clothes are a waste of money

2. She saves the bulk of her salary.

AND

When i asked where she lived she said she rents a lovely place in st albans. She said she had considered buying but that it was considerably cheaper to rent than pay the interest on the mortgage!

Yes. I have checked and she does'nt have big hands

A friend of mine was fond of describing the perfect woman as having perfect feet, therefore she must be physically perfect in every other way, and as having the ability to understand the offside rule He used this as a counter measure to Consa`s diagram previous

[undersupply]

Quite right. But it's not a 'battle of the sexes' thread is it, it's the old 'we have nothing but contempt for women' thread from the more sad and bitter male elements on this site. sigh.

Why are there more female millionaires in the UK than male?

Because women earn more than men?

Because women are more entrepeunerial and generate more wealth than men?

Because men have to take time out of work to have kids?

Or because women marry and divorce money?

I ain't sayin she's a golddigga....

[Mags]

What are men "afraid of commitment"?

Because they have worked out that many "committed relationships" mean:

HER house,

HIS debt

How about 'our house, our debt'? That's generally how committed relationships work, unless she's at home bringing children up, in which case the notion of shared responsibility still holds. It's basic division of labour - some if which is paid and some of which isn't. Don't forget, too, that in our enlightened age, women are still earning less than men. Seems like we have a long way to go before there's anything like equity in the workplace. Indulge in a little love Dr Bubb! It can even make paying bills seem OK!!

[miro2021]

HER house,

HIS debt

I have a wonderful girlfriend, who is clever and loving.

Then stop derogating her sex, can't you see when you derogate her sex you derogate her?

[IPOD]

Then stop derogating her sex, can't you see when you derogate her sex you derogate her?

He is not derogating the female gender per se, but biased divorce laws (especially in America, from whence DrB hails) which allow the state to confiscate property from a person merely because they have chosen to enter into a legally-sanctioned marital relationship. The moral justification for this is dubious at best.

[Elizabeth]

He is not derogating the female gender per se, but biased divorce laws (especially in America, from whence DrB hails) which allow the state to confiscate property from a person merely because they have chosen to enter into a legally-sanctioned marital relationship. The moral justification for this is dubious at best.

Question: as I understand it, in America it never ends does it. Once the bloke has been snagged he has to keep paying alimony forever if it breaks apart. I support men having to pay for their kids (although lets not go there but there are questions on both sides over that one) but ... alimony??? Can anyone explain the rationale for this?

[theChuz]

Question: as I understand it, in America it never ends does it. Once the bloke has been snagged he has to keep paying alimony forever if it breaks apart. I support men having to pay for their kids (although lets not go there but there are questions on both sides over that one) but ... alimony??? Can anyone explain the rationale for this?

Its because we live in a really really strange world. Now if i ruled the world....

[undersupply]

Thanks Warickshire Lad. Agreed. What I would like to know is the goss. How did it go?

Mr Nice was online at 12.45 today but chose not to post.

Can we take it that it nice guys finish last?

Or that gentlemen never kiss and tell?

[Smell the Fear]

Why that phrase again?

I want to deflate the unrealistic and unfair expectations that alot of people carry.

I know so many people who have been made unhappy through these expectations.

It seems to have struck a chord here. If it was boring, three people would not have quoted it.

- -

"as soon as it becomes clear that a female specimen of the species don't have those aspects they loose interest fast. Guys think they want a sensible woman but the fact is, its just not sexy."

UNTRUE.

I have a wonderful girlfriend, who is clever and loving, and who through the example of her

own life demonstrates how life can be lived more fully by being herself, and not just aspiring

to what "women SHOULD want." I wish there were more like her. And maybe the woman in

the header, and many who post on HPC, and moved past that old female-seeking-security model

Bubby

I think this is another example of how you have been damaged by your past career in the investment banking world. Rich men who have the habit of throwing money around (because they believe it is the panacea for all of life's problems) will, sadly, attract the minority of women who are blatant, manipulative gold-diggers in the same way that a playground full of kids will attract paedophiles.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you are the type to throw money around etc. but the social scene in the world of high finance attracts these women, and you will no doubt have seen many wealthy friends, colleagues and acquantainces fall into the traps laid by these glamour pusses.

These men are themselves less than innocent, as they often desire these women as trophies to display to their peers - the wife is just another status symbol to show off their success to all and sundry. Like all status symbols they are wont to become very expensive to maintain, especially if they break down and you are out of the warranty period.

As you have discovered, not all women are like this. Indeed, the vast majority are not like this. They are decent people, just like most men are. I know that will sound like I am pointing out the obvious, but sometimes that is necessary.

Edited December 11, 2005 by Smell the Fear

[2005]

Bubby

I think this is another example of how you have been damaged by your past career in the investment banking world. Rich men who have the habit of throwing money around (because they believe it is the panacea for all of life's problems) will, sadly, attract the minority of women who are blatant, manipulative gold-diggers in the same way that a playground full of kids will attract paedophiles.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you are the type to throw money around etc. but the social scene in the world of high finance attracts these women, and you will no doubt have seen many wealthy friends, colleagues and acquantainces fall into the traps laid by these glamour pusses.

These men are themselves less than innocent, as they often desire these women as trophies to display to their peers - the wife is just another status symbol to show off their success to all and sundry. Like all status symbols they are wont to become very expensive to maintain, especially if they break down and you are out of the warranty period.

As you have discovered, not all women are like this. Indeed, the vast majority are not like this. They are decent people, just like most men are. I know that will sound like I am pointing out the obvious, but sometimes that is necessary.

well said

Question: as I understand it, in America it never ends does it. Once the bloke has been snagged he has to keep paying alimony forever if it breaks apart. I support men having to pay for their kids (although lets not go there but there are questions on both sides over that one) but ... alimony??? Can anyone explain the rationale for this?

Alimony was tradtionally paid because the women stayed at home looking after the home/man/kids etc. She was unable to work (no career or earnings) and it was also felt the the mans success was supported by the wife ( she looked after kids/did housework/cooked meals/made dinner for boss etc) - hence the saying "behind every successful man is a good woman"

Obviously this is no longer always the case and shouldn't need to be the case but it still is in some relationships.

Please let's not get into a debate about the rights and wrongs of this (that is a different thread altogether) I am just pointing out that IMO this is rationale behind the law.

Edited December 12, 2005 by 2005

[miro2021]

Question: as I understand it, in America it never ends does it. Once the bloke has been snagged he has to keep paying alimony forever if it breaks apart. I support men having to pay for their kids (although lets not go there but there are questions on both sides over that one) but ... alimony??? Can anyone explain the rationale for this?

I don't necessarily agree with alimony, I think a clean break is usually better. I suppose the reason for alimony is that often in a marriage, especially if there are children, one partners career takes a back seat in order to promote the success of the relationship and that lost ground can often never be regained. Even if (often the wife) returns to work after having a family she will be less likely to be promoted because of her family committments eg. taking days off when child is sick, always having to leave on time.. while the other partners career is often helped by the marriage, eg having someone supportive to run a home/ do most of the parenting. This gaining and losing in career paths is generally far reaching. I think that when a couple split (and I'm talking about ordinary people, not the super rich) the basic principle should be that everything acieved/accumulated during the marriage partnership should be split 50/50. But that doesn't just include straightforward stuff like the equity in the family home, value of pensions etc, I think that the (most likely permanent) change in the 2 individuals career prospects/future earnings also needs to be valued in some way and split as well.

Suppose for example you get a young couple marrying and one partner (eg the wife) works long hours in a non- career job in order to support them both (maybe putting off buying a home in the meantime) while the other partner studies full-time to become a doctor or lawyer or whatever. What if he qualifys, falls for a nurse or secretary and divorces his wife. He comes out of it with hugely enhanced future prospects, his wife comes out with nothing . I would say she's entitled to some of his earnings for at least the next few years in order that she can use the financial support to enhance her own career prospects by studying or whatever..

I think when people get married they become a partnership almost like a buisness or company. When thay split, the company assets (minus those which were aquired by either partner previous to the marriage partnership) need to be divided equally - but not just the obvious assets like the house and pension, insurance policies investments etc but also the more intangible assets like increased earning power.

If you don't want to enter into this partnership where everything each partner achieves is owned by both partners, then don't get married.

[Mr_Nice]

Mr Nice was online at 12.45 today but chose not to post.

Can we take it that it nice guys finish last?

Or that gentlemen never kiss and tell?

Hello! I am shocked! At the number of posts . I guess I started the topic as i was feeling pretty pleased with myself but expected it to quickly drop off the radar. Logging in yesterday I felt a little guilty that I had publicised the whole event!!!

Anyway in light of that since I can no longer claim to be 'Nice' it all went very well and thats I all I have to say.

Thanks for listening

[ʎqɐqɹǝʞɐɥs]

Hello! I am shocked! At the number of posts . I guess I started the topic as i was feeling pretty pleased with myself but expected it to quickly drop off the radar. Logging in yesterday I felt a little guilty that I had publicised the whole event!!!

Anyway in light of that since I can no longer claim to be 'Nice' it all went very well and thats I all I have to say.

Thanks for listening

I have a lovely wee smilie that maybe illustrates to us all what you got up to. Let me know if its okay to post it.