General Melchett Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I was just in my kitchen, trying to lever a lump of ice cream out of a tub (it's a hot day), and suddenly, the lump I was working on pinged out of the tub, soared across the room and landed (and stayed put) in the bowl I had just got out and put down about 6 feet or more away. I know this is just the flipside of the toast landing butter side down, but cool or what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I was just in my kitchen, trying to lever a lump of ice cream out of a tub (it's a hot day), and suddenly, the lump I was working on pinged out of the tub, soared across the room and landed (and stayed put) in the bowl I had just got out and put down about 6 feet or more away. I know this is just the flipside of the toast landing butter side down, but cool or what? Do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Proof? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Proof? Melchett is lying. I have just placed a bowl 6ft away from a fresh tub of Dairy Vanilla. Each one of my spoonfuls has landed nowhere near the bowl. All I now have to show for myself is 3 bent spoons, and a shit load of melting icecream all over my terracotta kitchen tiles. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hovis Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Nice one. You always remember these things. One at school was that in one lesson we were (mildly) annoying one chap by nicking his round flat rubber when he wasn't looking and rolling it around the room. I rolled it through several rows of desks, at an angle, to hit the skirting board at the front of the room. It hit the board and instead of going off at the reflective angle came straight back along the exact line I'd rolled it out on. It slowly rolled back into my hand whereupon I gave it back to the owner. He was too impressed to be pissed off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skinty Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Links please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonkers Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Pictures please. We will need to see: Original location of ice cream Angle of scoop Bowl of destination. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Melchett Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 Ah, it's so easy to be cynical.... I could understand your doubts if I'd implied I actually meant to do it. And I dont see why I have to prove it - it's an anecdote. And I'm not exactly claiming the Aliens just came and had a chat with me about the meaning of the universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Melchett is lying. I admire your straight talking. I suspected as much myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I've just spent half an hour projecting frozen sprouts from my **** through the open window. So far I've manged to get two of them into the mouths of spectators gawping on the pavement below. The press have arrived, so you'll probably see film on YouTube shortly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Impressive. However are there witnesses ? They are useful for the future when you tell this story and you have to remind yourself if you are making it up or not... These things do happen. We were once up town in the Grassmarket of Edinburgh. These people above a chippy in a flat thought it would be funny to drop water ballons and throw water down on tthe people on the pavement below. Which it would have been if you were not the ones getting soaked !! Which we were. One of my pals walked over to the other side of the street, some other flat (Or maybe the same one - that would be some irony) had left out rubish to be collected the next morning. There was a big sauce pan. My pal, who is the most unco-ordinated person you will ever meet and was wasted at this time, picked up said pan and spun round and slung it up at the flat. Went straight through the open window and all we heard was crashing !! Genius. I don't think they bothered spraying people with water that evening. I don't think he could do it again for even a million pounds and with 6 months of training. So yes these random things do happen. Better when you are wasted though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I've just spent half an hour projecting frozen sprouts from my **** though the open window. So far I've manged to get two of them into the mouths of spectators gawping on the pavement below. The press have arrived, so you'll probably see film on YouTube shortly. The loading procedure must be a complete pain in the ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 The loading procedure must be a complete pain in the ****. It's not so bad. I'm planning to move on to tangerines, then oranges. After that, who knows? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 It's not so bad. I'm planning to move on to tangerines, then oranges. After that, who knows? I'd be impressed if you managed a pineapple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I'd be impressed if you managed a pineapple. That'll have to wait until I've mastered coconuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Woods? Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I flipped a coin once in front of the top law student at my undergrad university. It landed at his feet on its edge, and stayed standing. The next day the police arrested him. Turned out he had been a closet kleptomaniac for the past couple of years. They found his house stuffed with all sorts of random junk. No one who knew him had the first inkling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest happy? Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I was just in my kitchen, trying to lever a lump of ice cream out of a tub (it's a hot day), and suddenly, the lump I was working on pinged out of the tub, soared across the room and landed (and stayed put) in the bowl I had just got out and put down about 6 feet or more away. I know this is just the flipside of the toast landing butter side down, but cool or what? Ice cream flipping - how cool is that? About -18c for those who need to know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hovis Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I flipped a coin once in front of the top law student at my undergrad university. It landed at his feet on its edge, and stayed standing. The next day the police arrested him. Turned out he had been a closet kleptomaniac for the past couple of years. They found his house stuffed with all sorts of random junk. No one who knew him had the first inkling. I think I'm missing the middle paragraph there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I think I'm missing the middle paragraph there. You're not alone. My son would call it "random". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger Woods? Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I think I'm missing the middle paragraph there. Two completely unexpected and unusual events. The link being that one happened in close temporal and physical proximity to the main actor involved in the other. in hindsight, the coin was a signal that something was odd about the person in question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Two completely unexpected and unusual events. The link being that one happened in close temporal and physical proximity to the main actor involved in the other. in hindsight, the coin was a signal that something was odd about the person in question. Yes indeed! A middle paragraph would do nothing more than artificially link two unrelated events, in the reader's mind! The relationship is in your head! David Hume was a Scottish Philosopher! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustYield Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 I was just in my kitchen, trying to lever a lump of ice cream out of a tub (it's a hot day), and suddenly, the lump I was working on pinged out of the tub, soared across the room and landed (and stayed put) in the bowl I had just got out and put down about 6 feet or more away. I know this is just the flipside of the toast landing butter side down, but cool or what? Dazs incredible. I once did the flick-a-book-of-matches-along-the-bar-so-a-match-lights-right-in-front-of-the-gorgeous-girl-with-the-unlit- cigarette-hanging-from-her-mouth trick. First time I tried it, worked perfectly. Never tried again and never did get to sleep with her. She thought it was cool though, which was important to me at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reck B Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Nice one. You always remember these things. One at school was that in one lesson we were (mildly) annoying one chap by nicking his round flat rubber when he wasn't looking and rolling it around the room. I rolled it through several rows of desks, at an angle, to hit the skirting board at the front of the room. It hit the board and instead of going off at the reflective angle came straight back along the exact line I'd rolled it out on. It slowly rolled back into my hand whereupon I gave it back to the owner. He was too impressed to be pissed off. Do you remember the old ring-pulls on drink cans? You used to be able to take them apart and use the bit that joined the can to flick the ring part quite a long way. Someone did this half way down the school bus at me (who was sat on the back seat with the cool kids) as the ring appraoched my face, i closed my eye and caught it using my eyebrow/upper cheek in a sort of exaggerated wink style. Needless to say, this act cemented my rights to the back seat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Careful not too run with this anecdote too far Melchett old chap. I once had a girlfriend whose grandfather lived with her family. Many years ago, so his anecdote went, he was playing golf on a course that was adjacent to another golf course. He mis-struck his ball and scored a hole-in-one on the other golf course. The daft old coot told me this anecdote, unprompted, every time I visited the house. I suppose it did eventually have the desired effect, I stopped seeing her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reck B Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Dazs incredible. I once did the flick-a-book-of-matches-along-the-bar-so-a-match-lights-right-in-front-of-the-gorgeous-girl-with-the-unlit- cigarette-hanging-from-her-mouth trick. First time I tried it, worked perfectly. Never tried again and never did get to sleep with her. She thought it was cool though, which was important to me at the time. Not quite as cool as this, in fact totally opposite - a girl asked me for a light in my local a few years ago. I grabbed my matches and struck one towards her. a flaming ball of sulphur detached from the match and landed on her booby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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