twatmangle Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 QUOTE (twatmangle @ Jul 2 2009, 12:26 PM) *I'm adjusting my watch. It's a mechanical one and thus you can speed it up and slow it down by adjusting a little lever. Currently I am losing about 12 seconds per day. I hope to bring this down a lot. I synched my laptop clock with my watch earlier this morning. By then end of the day, I'll know if it's working. Thats' eye-wateringly banal. (let us know the outcome, mind) I overdid it. It's about 22 seconds fast now. Wow, this requires delicate fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uptherebels Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 How comes some posters have catchy titles under there avatars. Mine is Veteran or summit but others have all sorts of exciting wording. Yeh, I'd like to know the answer to that one too please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
profitofdoom Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 My apologies if this is regarded as thread drift: I received this morning in my E mail a message from a Mr.Vintus John of the Bank of Benin informing me that I am the recipient of some $86,000,000 US from a source of which I know nothing.Unwilling to disappoint him when he had gone to so much trouble I sent him the following rejoinder. Vintus Dear Fellow, Longest time and happy day to you also old bean.It is indeed with much diluted malignancy that I send you this hastily constructed and joyous missive. I bring you great news.Ahoy,Aho and shiver my diffuse enzymes.The cheque so often and long reflected upon did indeed arrive this very morning under the custody of Her Majesty's Officer for the delivery of said considerations.He spilled from his delivery vehicle at the unearthly hour of 8 O'clock.I was easily able to recognise his personage on account of the feline animal decorated with alternate patchings of the darkest and lightest hues that invariably accompanies him on his daily peregrinations. "Patrick dear cove". I greeted him thus for that is indeed his name."What bountiful munificance hast thou today?" To be of perfectly frank countenance this was little more than cheery badinage,sent out with little more hope for anything more hopeful than a note demanding money with menaces from the good burghers of this town in consideration of them very occasiona;lly removing the scrannel from the back snickett. Imagine therefore my surprise,nay stupefaction,when he produced a letter from the Rastrick and district Allotment Holders Confederation (Hereinafter referred to as RDAHC) This very letter,signed by the worshipful secretary of that august body Mr Stanley Witheringthorpe assures me that I am in fact the joint winner of the 47th annual rhubarb forcers draw and tombola. Now,due to my regular non participation in this event I put together the sum of two and then another two and came up with a figure not unadjacent to the number of toes on my feet.It is entirely due to this calculation together with the receipt of your internet missive that the breakfast porridge reverberates to the shout of "Vintus"! It is therefore my heartfelt desire to share this unlooked for windfall with you dear fellow.I am assured that the sum involved is indeed considerable,and would fall within the parameters of that described by Noel as a "Life changing sum" I am further assured that in addition to this sum there is a further non-cash emolument that would accompany a smooth custard to the benefit of both parties. I remain your humble servant Jeremiah Ponsonby-Criketbat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berk-hater Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 hey, that haiku doesn't scan! I have absolutely no idea what you mean. However, my sofa cushions went back in their covers and they look "nice." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anorthosite Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I have the $hits. I think it was the drinking water at the campsite we were at, as Mrs Anorthosite has them too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griptool Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I have the $hits. I think it was the drinking water at the campsite we were at, as Mrs Anorthosite has them too. Hmm thanks for sharing ........ A little more info would really help to complete the mental picture, perhaps you could rate your defecations on the Bristol Stool Scale (if you've hit 7 I really feel for you), also I hope this malady does not involve fecal incontinence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest anorthosite Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Hmm thanks for sharing ........ A little more info would really help to complete the mental picture, perhaps you could rate your defecations on the Bristol Stool Scale (if you've hit 7 I really feel for you), also I hope this malady does not involve fecal incontinence It varied. There were clear elements of 6 & 7 with pieces of 5. But I think a type 4 was the pace car. No incontinence, just a few scary moments... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griptool Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 It varied. There were clear elements of 6 & 7 with pieces of 5. But I think a type 4 was the pace car.No incontinence, just a few scary moments... The classic dilemma - will the next release of gastric gas ease my discomfort or pebble dash my pants? - we live in interesting times indeed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gusset Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 I have absolutely no idea what you mean. Definition of English haiku on wikipedia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slurms mackenzie Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 If it's curry club night in weatherspoons, then in manchester you can save a pound by getting your curry in the moon under the water instead of the paramount. This is one of the reasons why you'll never get prices for food on the weatherspoons website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnionTerror Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 Last Christmas, I hilariously changed my status on Facebook, that I was reading "The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories" - which was unfortunately a lie. A friend of mine saw my status, and went to go and buy the said book and give it as a Christmas present to his brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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