Waiting For Years, We're Getting Tired And Depressed

[Tired of Waiting]

Could be worse. Yesterday I just heard that a guy I know aged 44 with 2 kids is back at home with mum and dad after his marriage imploded. Looks like she's getting the house too. Just get on with your life and quit whinging as good things come to those who wait and yes there really is more to life than houses.

Good luck.

<< Just get on with your life and quit whinging >>

LOL. Ok then...

Thanks for your reply shakerbaby. I kind of agree with you. T'was a bad morning. I'm much more positive now. And these replies did help.

<< as good things come to those who wait >>

Yep. I know. But I think we will balance a bit more the waiting with the living the present. I think we should rent a little house for a couple of years, in a better location, then buy.

<<there really is more to life than houses>>

I know, but this flat is damaging our social life, self-image, etc.

Cheers,

[Shao Kahn]

My wife and I are really very tired of waiting, for years, for this crazy housing market to get back down to sensible levels, living in this small, ugly, expensive privately rented flat, and we may be getting depressed.

The housing market has been always ahead of us. We got married in 2000, but it took us a few years to have any money. Since 2005 I knew it was a bubble, and decided to wait. Now it is bursting, but slowly, and it will take at least another 2 years to really get close to the bottom. And here in West Sussex it is just starting to burst, with most sellers still in denial, resisting, and it may take even longer!

Our main problem is: we have been married for 8 years now, we are still living in this depressing flat. We couldn't even feel like starting a family in such depressing surroundings. Meanwhile, as we have been also paying a lot of taxes, we have managed to save just a small deposit (some £8,000). And the government is using our tax money to bailout banks, home-owners, and the "housing market" (trying to slow down the correction)!

We are getting really depressed, and I am afraid that we may be getting clinically depressed.

We thought about renting a better place, to wait a couple of years to buy, but living in better surroundings. But my rational side tells me we should save for a better deposit. I don't know what to do. We are so tired.

I used to feel exactly the same way - some of my earlier postings on here described how it drove me to the brink of self-destruction. Now, though, I have the privelege of renting a nice period flat through a century-old housing association on a fully-assured tenancy, with a reasonably low rent.

The point I am trying to make here is not about my situation, but about the general scheme of things in this basketcase country. What I am trying to say, is that everyone should have the option of being in my position, i.e this country should be following the continental model of looking at things, which discourages speculation and buy-to-let general b@stardry. If we had decent tenancy laws here (thanks Thatcher for scrapping them) then no-one would be unhappy and here would not have been a housing bubble, or, if there had, then it would not nearly have been so self-destructive.

This country is run for the sole benefit of spivs and speculators and get-rich-quick-merchants and not for the welfare of the electorate. If I had to rent privately, as a single person on my wage I would not be able to afford it, unless I wanted to live in a tiny bedsit in a slum area, which would really have a detrimental affect on my mental health.

So what I am saying is, when you consider the half a trillion magicked out of thin air to save failed banks, then they could easily conjure up the money to reform the system, crash the market and sequestrate buy-to-lets, to repalce them with affordable rented accomodation for all.

It will never happen of course unless we have a revolution, but I just think that this is an important point to make.

And good luck with it all. Clinical depression is bloody awful, along with the anxiety that goes with it, so I'd suggest seeing a doctor ASAP if it all seems to much.

[shakenvac]

If it makes you feel any happier, I've been an STRer for almost 8 years...I friggin' worn out with it all.

Basically, I bought a 3 bed flat in North in London in 1994 for £90,000... I'd tripled my money by late 2000 so decided to sell up, bagging £270,000 by doing so (I completed in early 2001...as an aside, my marriage was failing anyway, so my STR decision was kind of forced!).

In early 2001, I reckoned a London house price & an economic correction was imminent...then guess what? Well, later that year some bad guys flew some planes into some tall buildings - as well know now, the Fed unleashed a Tsunami of credit the likes of never been seen before. I never thought the Yanks would hold rates that low for so long ...but, hey ho they did, & I watched astonished from the sidelines as the housing bubble took of in epic proportions.

That said, I've used renting to my advantange & got my kids into a lovely Primary school (not easy if you buy a house somewhere then kids come along without thinking ahead about schooling!), but I'd have to say I'm now at the end of my tether with renting (with kids, the black cloud of eviction hangs heavy above my day to day life)

With respect to buying back in to property, well, I'd been in with a shout until 2005 (saving enough to keep up with London HPI), ...then it just went totally MENTAL. For the house type I sought - well, in 2005 they were priced at about £500k ....now they're about £850k - & that increase was made in just two years! So essentially in just two years, house prices in my area went almost by the same amount I'd ammased in savings over my entire life! (I'm in my 40s)

I've since managed to increase that aforementioned STR stash to £450,000 ...this should make me feel very content but it doesn't - why?

1. Job security.... in the past week, we've more or less been told that our jobs are being offshored - worst case scenario 6 months, best case scenario three years. There's not a cat in hell's chance I'll take on a mortgage on a depreciating asset when redundancy is in the offing.

2. House prices aren't falling anywhere near as fast as they rose (especially that final spurt they put on between 2005 & 2007)

3. But mainly, I get depressed because I now realise the only way out of this mess is for our Govt to inflate everyone's debt away....& alas, that'll be my stash seriously depleted.

Fortunately, any redundancy cheque is likely to be a decent one ...so with that added to my STR stash, I reckon it'll be "bye bye UK" for me.

Edited December 16, 2008 by shakenvac

[Tired of Waiting]

I don't agree with those who have advised you to just go ahead and have children. Some children can indeed enhance your life but some children can give you a whole load of other problems. So, the best thing to do is have children when you are happy within yourself, and with eachother, of course. If you were to go ahead and have a child whilst feeling so negative and you had a child who was quite content and sleep fairly well after a few months then that would be a good thing. If, on the other hand, you were feeling negative and had a child, like my youngest for instance, then things could get rather 'dark'. I was and am happy in my life and with my husband and yet my youngest who has been a very difficult child, has had a negative affect on my life at times so much so that I often wonder how the hell we would have coped if we were't happy to begin with.

Babies should be made when one is so brimming full of love and joy that the only way to deal with it is to spread it a little, namely by creating another life with which to share it with.

Thank you for your wise advice. We will not have children in this flat. Either in a better rented house, or in our own house.

And you are absolutely right that one should only have children if already happy.

Cheers

[Converted Lurker]

If it makes you feel any happier, I've been an STRer for almost 8 years...I friggin' worn out with it all.

Basically, I bought a 3 bed flat in North in London in 1994 for £90,000... I'd tripled my money by late 2000 so decided to sell up, bagging £270,000 by doing so (completed in early 2001...my marriage was failing anyway, so it was kind of forced!).

In early 2001, I reckoned a London house price & an economic correction was imminent...then guess what? Well, later that year some bad guys flew some planes into some tall buildings - as well know now, the Fed unleashed a Tsunami of credit the likes of never been seen before. I never thought the Yanks would hold rates that low for so long ...but, hey ho they did, & I watched astonished from the sidelines as the housing bubble took of in epic proportions.

That said, I've used renting to my advantange & got my kids into a lovely Primary school (not easy if you buy a house somewhere then kids come along without thinking ahead about schooling!), but I'd have to say I'm now at the end of my tether with renting (with kids, the black cloud of eviction hangs heavy above my day to day life)

With respect to buying back in, well, I'd been in with a shout until 2005 (saving enough to keep up with London HPI), ...then it just went MENTAL. For the house type I was wanting - in 2005 they were priced at about £500k....now they're £850k ...that increase was made in just two years!

I've since managed to increase my STR stash to £450,000...which should make me feel very content but it doesn't - why?

1. Job security.... in the past week, we've more or less been told that our jobs are being offshored - worst case scenario 6 months, best case scenario three years. There's not a cat in hell's chance I'll take on a mortgage on a depreciating asset when redundancy is in the offing.

2. House prices aren't falling anywhere near as fast as they rose (especially that final spurt they put on between 2005 & 2007)

3. But mainly. I depressed because I now realise the only way out of this mess is for our Govt to inflate everyone's debt away....& alas, that'll be my stash seriously depleted.

Fortunately, any redundancy cheque is likely to be a decent one ...so with that added to my STR stash, I reckon it'll be bye bye UK for me.

I'm sure this has helped him enormously. Can I ask you, do you ever consider that the money you've made on your original purchase was as equally bizarre and *for nothing* as the money you despise others making over the past seven years? Or do you think you 'earned 'your original £270K profit? The money you have made has been directly proportionate to the arguable 'health' of the economy you criticise, but have done extremely well out of.

Edited December 16, 2008 by Converted Lurker

[uptherebels]

If it makes you feel any happier, I've been an STRer for almost 8 years...I friggin' worn out with it all.

Basically, I bought a 3 bed flat in North in London in 1994 for £90,000... I'd tripled my money by late 2000 so decided to sell up, bagging £270,000 by doing so (I completed in early 2001...as an aside, my marriage was failing anyway, so my STR decision was kind of forced!).

In early 2001, I reckoned a London house price & an economic correction was imminent...then guess what? Well, later that year some bad guys flew some planes into some tall buildings - as well know now, the Fed unleashed a Tsunami of credit the likes of never been seen before. I never thought the Yanks would hold rates that low for so long ...but, hey ho they did, & I watched astonished from the sidelines as the housing bubble took of in epic proportions.

That said, I've used renting to my advantange & got my kids into a lovely Primary school (not easy if you buy a house somewhere then kids come along without thinking ahead about schooling!), but I'd have to say I'm now at the end of my tether with renting (with kids, the black cloud of eviction hangs heavy above my day to day life)

With respect to buying back in to property, well, I'd been in with a shout until 2005 (saving enough to keep up with London HPI), ...then it just went totally MENTAL. For the house type I sought - well, in 2005 they were priced at about £500k ....now they're about £850k - & that increase was made in just two years! So essentially in just two years, house prices in my area went almost by the same amount I'd ammased in savings over my entire life! (I'm in my 40s)

I've since managed to increase that aforementioned STR stash to £450,000 ...this should make me feel very content but it doesn't - why?

1. Job security.... in the past week, we've more or less been told that our jobs are being offshored - worst case scenario 6 months, best case scenario three years. There's not a cat in hell's chance I'll take on a mortgage on a depreciating asset when redundancy is in the offing.

2. House prices aren't falling anywhere near as fast as they rose (especially that final spurt they put on between 2005 & 2007)

3. But mainly, I get depressed because I now realise the only way out of this mess is for our Govt to inflate everyone's debt away....& alas, that'll be my stash seriously depleted.

Fortunately, any redundancy cheque is likely to be a decent one ...so with that added to my STR stash, I reckon it'll be "bye bye UK" for me.

Hang on. £450,000 already, and a good redundancy cheque maybe? And your worried about a mortgage?

[cockrobin]

There was a spell last month when I even went to look at a few places with my wife because we are so fed up of waiting, but I smacked myself round the face a couple of times and have come to my senses. I put a post on here at the time and the response I got from various members played a part in my waking up to reality again.

The Labour filth Government will try their hardest to offer us stupid incentives and packages to entice us to buy at a time when we really should not, they are b*stards and should be publically burnt for trying to get us to spend them out of trouble!

The Labour Party is entirely to blame for this situation, the stinking, ignorant, hateful pieces of hot dog sh*t!!

[Converted Lurker]

Hang on. £450,000 already, and a good redundancy cheque maybe? And your worried about a mortgage?

To be fair you need £750-850K to by a 4 bed shitty semi in Muswell Hill so shakenvac is hurting given she jumped off the easy money carosuel too early. Still if you think you've sussed it and want to bank the profits early (thinking you've outhunk the market) then you have to take the rough with smooth IMHO. To their credit you don't hear, for example, Dr Bubb or FP moaning that they bailed out way too early and there are some well established posters on 'ere who realised they did the wrong thing in selling in 2004-2005 and bought back in sharpish with as much leverage as they could beg, borrow, steal, ramp up and then sold last year.

Edited December 16, 2008 by Converted Lurker

[uptherebels]

To be fair you need £750-850K to by a 4 bed shitty semi in Muswell Hill so shakenvac is hurting

I see. That's another world to me though. House like that around here would probably be somewhere between £130k and £180k. Must remember never to look at Muswell Hill ( wherever that is)

[youthoftoday]

Thank you for your wise advice. We will not have children in this flat. Either in a better rented house, or in our own house.

And you are absolutely right that one should only have children if already happy.

Cheers

DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT put off having children. I'm guessing you and (more importantly) the wife are circa 30 years old (married 8 years). Her biological clock is ticking. If you want children in the future then you must realise that the future is NOW. You cannot afford to wait. Are you aware that the average time to conceive for a 30 year old is 9 months? You could easily be looking at 2 years to conceive a child. Yes it can happen quicker but don't bank on it. A woman of 35 is half as fertile as a 25 year old. Leaving it too late could be the worst mistake you'll ever make and one that cannot be undone. Also don't assume IVF can fix things since although many are successful, an awful lot aren't. It's also a very expensive and gruelling process, not one undergone lightly.

Children are wonderful, truely a gift from God. You'll never really know what happiness is until you have children. Babies do not need much room, they'll be fine in a flat for a couple of years. Hey, my mum was one of 9 children in a 2 bed cottage. The kids slept 4 or 5 to a bed, top to tail. So, stop posting on HPC and get on with it!

Edited December 16, 2008 by youthoftoday

[Tired of Waiting]

I used to feel exactly the same way (...)

And good luck with it all. (...)

Thanks Shao Kahn

I think the root of the British housing problem is the planning system - too restrictive.

[Converted Lurker]

I see. That's another world to me though. House like that around here would probably be somewhere between £130k and £180k. Must remember never to look at Muswell Hill ( wherever that is)

here ya go Bud, take a look at what she could have won for £830,000, a standard 4 bed semi you'd see anywhere up and down the UK. For some reason I regard these areas of London that have exploded in prices as more nutty than, for example, Fulham & Chelsea ;

http://www.findaproperty.com/displayprop.a...amp;pid=2984835

[Converted Lurker]

DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT put off having children. I'm guessing you and (more importantly) the wife are circa 30 years old (married 8 years). Her biological clock is ticking. If you want children in the future then you must realise that the future is NOW. You cannot afford to wait. Are you aware that the average time to conceive for a 30 year old is 9 months? You could easily be looking at 2 years to conceive a child. Yes it can happen quicker but don't bank on it. A woman of 35 is half as fertile as a 25 year old. Leaving it too late could be the worst mistake you'll ever make and one that cannot be undone. Also don't assume IVF can fix things since although many are successful, an awful lot aren't. It's also a very expensive and gruelling process, not one undergone lightly.

Children are wonderful, truely a gift from God. You'll never really know what happiness is until you have children. Babies do not need much room, they'll be fine in a flat for a couple of years. Hey, my mum was one of 9 children in a 2 bed cottage. The kids slept 4 or 5 to a bed, top to tail. So, stop posting on HPC and get on with it!

and the motivation the kids give you, when you absolutely have to make something happen for you and them, is one of the best emotions there is. I'm sure it's a bit primitive but it can be truly inspiring and life changing

[Tired of Waiting]

(...) I've been an STRer for almost 8 years...I friggin' worn out with it all.

(...)

Fortunately, any redundancy cheque is likely to be a decent one ...so with that added to my STR stash, I reckon it'll be "bye bye UK" for me.

Wow... That is a story...

Life in Britain is like a roller-coaster! Who needs theme-parks here?!

Thanks shakenvac,

So, do you think prices would fall by more than 40% from peak then?!

[Tired of Waiting]

(...) DO NOT put off having children. (...) 30 years old (...) biological clock

Thanks for the advice.

[Lone_Twin]

Hey, you think you got problems...I'm 39 and been working my bum off since leaving uni (and at uni too)...and am in fundamentally the same position.

I feel for you mate, my only consolation is that I was a massive slacker at university and they basically gave me

my mickey mouse polyversity degree for turning up.

.

ST

[grizzly bear]

My wife and I are really very tired of waiting, for years, for this crazy housing market to get back down to sensible levels, living in this small, ugly, expensive privately rented flat, and we may be getting depressed.

The housing market has been always ahead of us. We got married in 2000, but it took us a few years to have any money. Since 2005 I knew it was a bubble, and decided to wait. Now it is bursting, but slowly, and it will take at least another 2 years to really get close to the bottom. And here in West Sussex it is just starting to burst, with most sellers still in denial, resisting, and it may take even longer!

Our main problem is: we have been married for 8 years now, we are still living in this depressing flat. We couldn't even feel like starting a family in such depressing surroundings. Meanwhile, as we have been also paying a lot of taxes, we have managed to save just a small deposit (some £8,000). And the government is using our tax money to bailout banks, home-owners, and the "housing market" (trying to slow down the correction)!

We are getting really depressed, and I am afraid that we may be getting clinically depressed.

We thought about renting a better place, to wait a couple of years to buy, but living in better surroundings. But my rational side tells me we should save for a better deposit. I don't know what to do. We are so tired.

If you have only managed to save £8k with 2 people working in eight years then unless you have been paying off huge student debts you should forget about home ownership. EVER. Sorry to be harsh but you really need to save at least that per year - if both working - as once you do have kids its much harder to save as childcare isso expensive.

The first month I worked (back in 1995) I put £150 per month by DD into a savings account (figuring if I never had it I wouldn't miss it) and then each year when I got a pay rise I put most of the incremental each month by DD into the savings account too. It meant we couldn't "afford" meals out / new car / overseas holidays - but we did manage to save our deposit.

[ʎqɐqɹǝʞɐɥs]

Thanks for the advice.

You must be one of the politest posters on HPC thanking and answering everyone. Good on you and keep it up as his place can get bitchier than Crufts sometimes.

Edited December 16, 2008 by shakerbaby

[Tired of Waiting]

Buying a house won't make you happy. If you are prone to depression you will just become a depressed homeowner rather than a depressed renter.

I should be happy but worry about the future and my kids future makes me depressed. Its also a very depressing time of the year.

Take a few days off with your wife and do some walking on the hills. It will reset your perspectives.

<<Buying a house won't make you happy.>>

I know what you mean. But in our case, it is the weakest link in our lives. This area is depressing, this flat is depressing, and as we feel ashamed of our flat, it has damaged our social lives, and our self-image/self-respect.

If in a couple of years we will be able to buy a nice little cottage, 3 bedrooms, garden, nice area, for less than £200,000, we will be happy. If we it costs less than £150,000 we will be VERY happy. We want a few children, and a couple of dogs, and we need a nice place for it.

But this was very good advice: "take a few days off with your wife and do some walking on the hills. It will reset your perspectives."

I talked to the wife today already, and we will do it as soon as the weather allows us.

Cheers,

[Tired of Waiting]

If you have only managed to save £8k with 2 people working in eight years (...)

Last year we finished paying off debts, and now we are saving almost £1,000 per month.

[Tired of Waiting]

(...) advise moving to a different rental place

(...) Home 'ownership' or not is in NO WAY something to get depressed about (...) status anxiety.

(...) Just have your kids and embrace life

(...) exercise, friendship, spirituality, whatever floats your boat

Thanks Badger, I think I agree with all 4 of your points. The ideal would be to live now in a nice house, and own it. But to rent a nice house for now, and to buy a nice house in 2 or 3 years is not too bad. Cheers,

[Tired of Waiting]

have children when YOU want them, not when the economical cycle dictates.

Sorry, but I can't agree with that.

Our values don't allow us to have children if we can't afford to care well for them, ourselves - not on the state, not on benefits, not even on housing benefits. The economical cycle is important here.

Due to biological clocks imperatives we may be forced to risk it a little, and have children in a rented house. But that is our limit.

[Tired of Waiting]

For me, lack of control sets me off bigtime. (...)

Very well put Moo. Thanks. Our landlord doesn't allow us to have a pet. Tenants are treated like children.

[Tired of Waiting]

flats are going for 30k

Where?! Not here. A 2 bedroom flat still costs £140,000!

West Sussex is still very expensive, somehow. I have no idea why.

[Tired of Waiting]

1 (...) Can you rent a small cottage, perhaps with a nice garden?

2 (...) Planning for happiness in the Future Time is ok as far as it goes but should be a lower priority.

3 (...) this house price adjustment. It's going to happen. (...) You're in a surprisingly good position to take advantage of it compared to many out there....just move it down your list of priorites for a while and have a little fun.

Thanks Sheeple, a very good advice:

1 - That is EXACTLY what we want.

2 - That is interesting. I have always put the future as the higher priority, and it may indeed be a mistake. I had thought about balancing present and future. But I've never considered putting the present higher. But you may have a point. I'll definitely think seriously about it. Cheers.

3 - You are right. Thanks.