OnionTerror Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 There's the obvious with nicking roadsigns, pulling someone with the face of a bent spoon, but who's woken up with a ladyboy or has been caught burrowing packets of fruit pastels in a neighbours garden? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 There's the obvious with nicking roadsigns, pulling someone with the face of a bent spoon, but who's woken up with a ladyboy or has been caught burrowing packets of fruit pastels in a neighbours garden? Boned a fatty. At least she was grateful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Noodle Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Boned a fatty. At least she was grateful. Now it comes out. More . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingding Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 After a monumental night on the piss I woke up on my bedroom floor lying next to a four foot battle-axe that I had brought home from somewhere.. Not some shaven headed Pumbaa I hasten to add but an actual battle-axe, as in the weapon you'd swing around your head. I have absolutely no f*cking idea to this day from where or whence it came, neither does anyone I was out with though the did confirm I hadn't gone on any Viking rampages through the pub that night. I've still got it somewhere too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AteMoose Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 crashed a car into a tree (when I was much much younger) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woot Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I can't remember... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Absolutely Fabulous Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I can't remember... Very wise........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissy_fit Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I can't remember... Most convenient. Same here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Now it comes out. More . . . It's a true story. I looked at her at the beginning of the evening and was repelled. 5 hours later, I was calling her a cab and doing anything I could think of to try and dissaude her from staying over. I thought initially that she could just be one of those 'big boned' girls and be have solid bulk. Alas, she was squidgy and with an unpleasant texture to her. But, at least I can say I have tried it. I saw her a few weeks later and she blanked me. So maybe we were both as repelled as each other by what we'd done. I see the fat thread has been pulled? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Noodle Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 It's a true story. I looked at her at the beginning of the evening and was repelled. 5 hours later, I was calling her a cab and doing anything I could think of to try and dissaude her from staying over. I thought initially that she could just be one of those 'big boned' girls and be have solid bulk. Alas, she was squidgy and with an unpleasant texture to her. But, at least I can say I have tried it. I saw her a few weeks later and she blanked me. So maybe we were both as repelled as each other by what we'd done. I see the fat thread has been pulled? Was this your Shallow Hal moment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingding Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 When I was at Uni one of my more tedious flatmates came back into the house roaring drunk, and I mean incapable of speech trollied. He bumbled upstairs to his room and after a bit of banging around came back down again in his boxers with another can and talking indecipherable ******** We left him to it as he was a pretty obnoxious drunk and we had planned to be out and about early the next morning. When I awoke there was commotion downstairs accompanied by a smell that did not bode well at all, upon reaching the living room I discovered that pissed flatmate had obviously passed out on the couch and lavishly shat himself in the night, the mess was horrific, the couch a write-off. The fall-out from this was epic as you can imagine and pissed flatmate was sent on his way at the end of the term in disgrace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Was this your Shallow Hal moment? She was actually a very nice girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Noodle Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 She was actually a very nice girl. So the fatist thing, it's projection right? No shame is in likin' 'em big. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@contradevian Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Boned a fatty. At least she was grateful. That ticks two HPC boxes. Firstly sex and secondly it involved a fatty. Shame she didn't have BTL's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissy_fit Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 So the fatist thing, it's projection right? No shame is in likin' 'em big. Same thing had occurred to me! Quorky where are you, it's payback time..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 So the fatist thing, it's projection right? No shame is in likin' 'em big. I'm just playing to type. I became 'fatist' after sitting next to a 300pounder all the way to Atlanta on the plane. Her £400 bought her half my seat as well as her own, and yet my £400 only streched as far as half a seat. It's not fair. How come this board can be vitriolic to people that buy homes in the most sensational and butal fashion and it's allowed, even applauded. Yet, someone questions the motives of an obese and a thread gets pulled. I'm going to start complaining to the mods everytime some refers to homebuyers in an offensive way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Same thing had occurred to me! Quorky where are you, it's payback time..... There's no need. I have had about 10 years of it. Mostly about the fact that she blanked me after! Good on her! We became good friends after as she started playing for the ladies team of my rugby club. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 When I was at Uni one of my more tedious flatmates came back into the house roaring drunk, and I mean incapable of speech trollied. He bumbled upstairs to his room and after a bit of banging around came back down again in his boxers with another can and talking indecipherable ******** We left him to it as he was a pretty obnoxious drunk and we had planned to be out and about early the next morning. When I awoke there was commotion downstairs accompanied by a smell that did not bode well at all, upon reaching the living room I discovered that pissed flatmate had obviously passed out on the couch and lavishly shat himself in the night, the mess was horrific, the couch a write-off. The fall-out from this was epic as you can imagine and pissed flatmate was sent on his way at the end of the term in disgrace. Did you get any action? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Noodle Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I'm just playing to type. I became 'fatist' after sitting next to a 300pounder all the way to Atlanta on the plane. Her £400 bought her half my seat as well as her own, and yet my £400 only streched as far as half a seat. It's not fair. How come this board can be vitriolic to people that buy homes in the most sensational and butal fashion and it's allowed, even applauded. Yet, someone questions the motives of an obese and a thread gets pulled. I'm going to start complaining to the mods everytime some refers to homebuyers in an offensive way. It was a woman on the plane then . . . and so the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reck B Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I attempted to do a backflip off a podium in a nightclub once. My chin/knee hit the dancefloor with such force, the record jumped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingding Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Did you get any action? Not on that couch anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 It was a woman on the plane then . . . and so the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place. Most of it is tongue in cheeek and looking to make cheap gags. Our drummer is a very fat man. I like him and see him reguarly. I am however, very open minded about many other things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Noodle Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Most of it is tongue in cheeek and looking to make cheap gags. Our drummer is a very fat man. I like him and see him reguarly. I am however, very open minded about many other things. So you're 'seeing' a fat guy as well? This could get complicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@contradevian Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 It was a woman on the plane then . . . and so the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place. Mile high club? Those airplane toilets are very small Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 So you're 'seeing' a fat guy as well? This could get complicated. Yes. And I quite like him. In fact, we went out together last week. I do call him a fatty to his face though. Not just on here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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