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Dave Beans

What's The Most Humiliating / Shameful Thing You've Done Whilst Being Blotto?

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There's the obvious with nicking roadsigns, pulling someone with the face of a bent spoon, but who's woken up with a ladyboy or has been caught burrowing packets of fruit pastels in a neighbours garden?

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Guest theboltonfury

There's the obvious with nicking roadsigns, pulling someone with the face of a bent spoon, but who's woken up with a ladyboy or has been caught burrowing packets of fruit pastels in a neighbours garden?

Boned a fatty. At least she was grateful.

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Guest Noodle

Boned a fatty. At least she was grateful.

:D

Now it comes out.

More . . .

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After a monumental night on the piss I woke up on my bedroom floor lying next to a four foot battle-axe that I had brought home from somewhere..

Not some shaven headed Pumbaa I hasten to add but an actual battle-axe, as in the weapon you'd swing around your head.

I have absolutely no f*cking idea to this day from where or whence it came, neither does anyone I was out with though the did confirm I hadn't gone on any Viking rampages through the pub that night.

I've still got it somewhere too. :ph34r:

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Guest Absolutely Fabulous

I can't remember... ph34r.gifunsure.gif

Very wise........wink.gif

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Guest theboltonfury

:D

Now it comes out.

More . . .

It's a true story. I looked at her at the beginning of the evening and was repelled. 5 hours later, I was calling her a cab and doing anything I could think of to try and dissaude her from staying over.

I thought initially that she could just be one of those 'big boned' girls and be have solid bulk. Alas, she was squidgy and with an unpleasant texture to her.

But, at least I can say I have tried it. I saw her a few weeks later and she blanked me. So maybe we were both as repelled as each other by what we'd done.

I see the fat thread has been pulled?

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Guest Noodle

It's a true story. I looked at her at the beginning of the evening and was repelled. 5 hours later, I was calling her a cab and doing anything I could think of to try and dissaude her from staying over.

I thought initially that she could just be one of those 'big boned' girls and be have solid bulk. Alas, she was squidgy and with an unpleasant texture to her.

But, at least I can say I have tried it. I saw her a few weeks later and she blanked me. So maybe we were both as repelled as each other by what we'd done.

I see the fat thread has been pulled?

Was this your Shallow Hal moment?

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When I was at Uni one of my more tedious flatmates came back into the house roaring drunk, and I mean incapable of speech trollied. He bumbled upstairs to his room and after a bit of banging around came back down again in his boxers with another can and talking indecipherable ******** We left him to it as he was a pretty obnoxious drunk and we had planned to be out and about early the next morning.

When I awoke there was commotion downstairs accompanied by a smell that did not bode well at all, upon reaching the living room I discovered that pissed flatmate had obviously passed out on the couch and lavishly shat himself in the night, the mess was horrific, the couch a write-off.

The fall-out from this was epic as you can imagine and pissed flatmate was sent on his way at the end of the term in disgrace.

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Guest theboltonfury

Was this your Shallow Hal moment?

She was actually a very nice girl.

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Guest Noodle

She was actually a very nice girl.

So the fatist thing, it's projection right?

No shame is in likin' 'em big. ;)

large_the_italian_job_blu-ray7.jpg

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Boned a fatty. At least she was grateful.

:lol:

That ticks two HPC boxes. Firstly sex and secondly it involved a fatty. Shame she didn't have BTL's

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So the fatist thing, it's projection right?

No shame is in likin' 'em big. ;)

large_the_italian_job_blu-ray7.jpg

Same thing had occurred to me!

Quorky where are you, it's payback time.....

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Guest theboltonfury

So the fatist thing, it's projection right?

No shame is in likin' 'em big. ;)

large_the_italian_job_blu-ray7.jpg

I'm just playing to type. I became 'fatist' after sitting next to a 300pounder all the way to Atlanta on the plane. Her £400 bought her half my seat as well as her own, and yet my £400 only streched as far as half a seat. It's not fair.

How come this board can be vitriolic to people that buy homes in the most sensational and butal fashion and it's allowed, even applauded. Yet, someone questions the motives of an obese and a thread gets pulled.

I'm going to start complaining to the mods everytime some refers to homebuyers in an offensive way.

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Guest theboltonfury

Same thing had occurred to me!

Quorky where are you, it's payback time.....

There's no need. I have had about 10 years of it. Mostly about the fact that she blanked me after!

Good on her! We became good friends after as she started playing for the ladies team of my rugby club.

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Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable

When I was at Uni one of my more tedious flatmates came back into the house roaring drunk, and I mean incapable of speech trollied. He bumbled upstairs to his room and after a bit of banging around came back down again in his boxers with another can and talking indecipherable ******** We left him to it as he was a pretty obnoxious drunk and we had planned to be out and about early the next morning.

When I awoke there was commotion downstairs accompanied by a smell that did not bode well at all, upon reaching the living room I discovered that pissed flatmate had obviously passed out on the couch and lavishly shat himself in the night, the mess was horrific, the couch a write-off.

The fall-out from this was epic as you can imagine and pissed flatmate was sent on his way at the end of the term in disgrace.

Did you get any action?

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Guest Noodle

I'm just playing to type. I became 'fatist' after sitting next to a 300pounder all the way to Atlanta on the plane. Her £400 bought her half my seat as well as her own, and yet my £400 only streched as far as half a seat. It's not fair.

How come this board can be vitriolic to people that buy homes in the most sensational and butal fashion and it's allowed, even applauded. Yet, someone questions the motives of an obese and a thread gets pulled.

I'm going to start complaining to the mods everytime some refers to homebuyers in an offensive way.

It was a woman on the plane then . . . and so the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place.

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I attempted to do a backflip off a podium in a nightclub once.

My chin/knee hit the dancefloor with such force, the record jumped.

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Guest theboltonfury

It was a woman on the plane then . . . and so the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place.

Most of it is tongue in cheeek and looking to make cheap gags. Our drummer is a very fat man. I like him and see him reguarly.

I am however, very open minded about many other things.

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Guest Noodle

Most of it is tongue in cheeek and looking to make cheap gags. Our drummer is a very fat man. I like him and see him reguarly.

I am however, very open minded about many other things.

So you're 'seeing' a fat guy as well? :blink:

This could get complicated.

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It was a woman on the plane then . . . and so the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place.

Mile high club? Those airplane toilets are very small

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Guest theboltonfury

So you're 'seeing' a fat guy as well? :blink:

This could get complicated.

Yes. And I quite like him. In fact, we went out together last week.

I do call him a fatty to his face though. Not just on here.

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  • 261 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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