General Melchett Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Well you lot are useless. I unfortunately had to rely on my old fallback. Not getting your hair cut? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Not getting your hair cut? Some lady hairdressers are very fit. It's nice to talk to them. Some are munters though and I wish they'd pipe down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Melchett Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Some lady hairdressers are very fit. It's nice to talk to them. Some are munters though and I wish they'd pipe down. And there is the physical contact with another human aspect.... (call me a perv, go one, you know you want to). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 And there is the physical contact with another human aspect.... (call me a perv, go one, you know you want to). No, you're right. Head stroking is bloody lovely anyway. When a hottie does the shampoo bit, it's about as close as I get these days to a thrill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountryMove Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Well you lot are useless. I unfortunately had to rely on my old fallback. You could read a magazine (or take a book if you are a boy and they don't have them at boys hairdressers) Works 95% of the time for me apart from once the hairdresser commented on every story in the magazine. D'oh! With one of those clipper machines I regularly do my brothers hair with no prior training at all, you can't really go wrong if you want something fairly simple and it would probably pay for itself within a couple of months Let us know if you find something which works Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 No, you're right. Head stroking is bloody lovely anyway. When a hottie does the shampoo bit, it's about as close as I get these days to a thrill. Would you be exposing a gonad at this point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Would you be exposing a gonad at this point? I don't know. It depends how the conversation is going... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1929crash Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Tell them that your usual hairdresser offers free blow-jobs with every cut. She does! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mammon Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I have to have my haircut tomorrow and I always recall reading about a man who when asked how he liked his haircut his reply was "In silence!". I prefer a chat-free, non-weather related, what are you doing this weekend, i'm really interested and not just after a tip blah blah haircut. Anybody else prefer this and if so is it best to explain it upfront? Only ever respond in one word or very short phrases, and use a dull tone, they will soon get the point and shut up too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl1 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Share Posted August 22, 2009 Only ever respond in one word or very short phrases, and use a dull tone, they will soon get the point and shut up too. This approach is always doomed to failure. The hairdresser just ends up feeling awkward and will just rush your cut and you'll be stuck lookng like a mullett for a month. No; a more radical approach is needed. This month I resorted to lies just to get through the ordeal. I can't read, I'm covered in a weird cape, I can't listen to mp3's: wires... maybe some kind of bluetooth contraption? Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Melchett Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 This approach is always doomed to failure. The hairdresser just ends up feeling awkward and will just rush your cut and you'll be stuck lookng like a mullett for a month. No; a more radical approach is needed. This month I resorted to lies just to get through the ordeal. I can't read, I'm covered in a weird cape, I can't listen to mp3's: wires... maybe some kind of bluetooth contraption? Thoughts? Back in the day when me and my mates used to go on the pull, sometimes we would play the game of pretending we were something we werent, the more bizarre the better. It was always fun right up until the point it wasnt (if you get my drfit viz a viz all the ways this could go tits up). Course, with a haidresser, the possibilities for Epic Fail of this strategy are more limited. Go have fun..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest theboltonfury Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Back in the day when me and my mates used to go on the pull, sometimes we would play the game of pretending we were something we werent, the more bizarre the better. It was always fun right up until the point it wasnt (if you get my drfit viz a viz all the ways this could go tits up). Course, with a haidresser, the possibilities for Epic Fail of this strategy are more limited. Go have fun..... Getting a haircut really is a terrifying experience these days. I prefer a gents barber where the barber can't be bothered talking either. Whatever time you make an appointment for you can guarantee at least a 30 minute wait, followed by coming out with loads of waxy muck on your hair as they try and style it for you. My hair is shit and I accept that, just cut it. Make it shorter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadman Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 I'd rather talk to my barber than random taxi drivers but I can never help myself. "Busy?" "What time you on till?" "What time did you start?" "This is a nice car?" "What sort of mpg you getting?" If I'm in Middlesbrough..."I've never been to Pakistan, what's it like?" etc. etc. etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl1 Posted August 22, 2009 Author Share Posted August 22, 2009 Back in the day when me and my mates used to go on the pull, sometimes we would play the game of pretending we were something we werent, the more bizarre the better. It was always fun right up until the point it wasnt (if you get my drfit viz a viz all the ways this could go tits up). Course, with a haidresser, the possibilities for Epic Fail of this strategy are more limited. Go have fun..... Already done dear boy. You just described my "fallback". This month I just "returned from holiday in Vancouver" after "putting in an offer on a house" and I'm getting my haircut because I'm off out tonight to a "party". But how I long for a stress-free silent haircut. Anyway, I better be off, apparently I've got a barby to prepare and all the meat to buy, you know "if the weather holds". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R K Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Take your ipod. He/she will understand that you are socially inept and leave you alone. Not that I have tried this, I much prefer to lean back and rest my head against their fullsome breasts. Especially Sophie at the backwash..........fantastic value for £1 tip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Driver Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 My local Italian barbers are brothers and they used to dabble in property developing. I ask how their mates are doing and their mates businesses. Given these are macho barbers, lots of their mates are in other industries like mechanics and building. I like to sound them out as it gives me another view on how the economy is going (albeit on a local level). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest X-QUORK Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Back in the day when me and my mates used to go on the pull, sometimes we would play the game of pretending we were something we werent, the more bizarre the better. It was always fun right up until the point it wasnt (if you get my drfit viz a viz all the ways this could go tits up). Course, with a haidresser, the possibilities for Epic Fail of this strategy are more limited. Go have fun..... As a squaddy this was an essential skill. My favourite alternative careers were dolphin trainer and biscuit designer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Melchett Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Take your ipod.He/she will understand that you are socially inept and leave you alone. Not that I have tried this, I much prefer to lean back and rest my head against their fullsome breasts. Especially Sophie at the backwash..........fantastic value for £1 tip. Snip snip go the scissors through the headphone leads.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scunnered Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Talk to someone else, that isn't there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Open by asking the barber how he feels about the bounty we all enjoy from the Lord Jesus... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Melchett Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 Open by asking the barber how he feels about the bounty we all enjoy from the Lord Jesus... The best yet.... right up until the point you find your hair being cut by a Happy Clappy or, worse, a fundamentalist of another religion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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