The XYY Man

I was on the dole until April last year for 5 months. I had moved into Mrs XYY's council house about a year earlier, so have now met many of her friends on this large council estate I now inhabit. We had just about enough for the 3 square a day, and to keep the roof over our heads - bills etc. I could also just keep running my car, though petrol was a very rationed luxury. We came out about even when I started work again. I am therefore very happy to report that the safety-net system I've paid into since leaving school at 16 in 1981 did indeed do just that - saved me until I found work, and at no time was my family in any kind of poverty. But I owned my car outright, and between us we had furniutre etc. Had we wanted any new items - carpets etc - this would have proved difficult without borrowing, or some form of credit. And many of the people I've met on this estate can't get that from a bank or building society, so they then turn to the vultures mentioned in pinbacker's post - Provident, and all the other legal sharks. Through their evil usury, the "safety-net" I've enjoyed becomes a vicious, self-perpetuating spiral of poverty and misery that is caused purely by the astronimical interest rates these shitehawks charge. 183% APR is typical, but not the highest interest rate. And yes, your read that correctly, no typos - ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THREE PERCENT APR. If any Government ever really wants to reduce poverty to almost ZERO overnight, then simply stop these parasites trading and make all their debts null and void. And if you think I'm talking shite, then just imagine your lives if your mortgage rate was 183% The rich and powerful can choose to end poverty, while the poor can only endure it... XYY

David Bowie caused the credit crunch...???? BLOODY RIDICULOUS !!!! Everyone knows it was Right Said Fred... X Y Y

And so all is as it should be - current UK graduates deserve nothing else. With all the (supposed) benefits of a tertiary education, they can't actually figure out that they will never pay off the student loan, raise a family AND own a house in this, or any other lifetime. But they'll still keep trying, bless 'em...!!! Lambs to the slaughter...? Or fish in a barrel...??? Take yer pick... X Y Y

Exactly what type of tax are you refering to...??? Income...? Council...? VAT...? Fuel...? Road...? Tabs...? Beer...? Even if you tick all of the above, I'll bet the answer is still a big fat zero pounds and zero new pee. But don't worry about that apparent injustice folks - I'm sure that they're all carbon neutral... Angry XYY

Guess no-one banned them from smoking weed then...? That's the real cause of the demise of the British Pub - their customers are all too stoned to actually go to the bar... X Y Y

Maybe it's because Linda has used her celebrity connections to organise the local neighbourhood watch... XYY

Really??? Purely hypothetical of course, but would he be "mammy" or, er, "daddy"...???

Wow!! - I thought my comp was a cut above by getting on "We Are The Champions", but you boys really knew how to rock !!! Can't really compete with your last revelation - but I did hear Ron Pickering say "bugger" in the toilets if that counts... XYY

Oh dear, why did I have to Google that...??? Don't think I'll be having my usual bed-time mocha-latte tonight... X Y Y

Ah well, s'pose a farty smell is at least one thing we can't blame Mandelson and Brown for. Unless it also smells of spunk... XYY

Dear Peter, Your mortgages over the years have often seemed extravagant in relationship to your salary. In order to secure these fantastic deals, just how many bell-ends did you have to suck...? X Y Y

Amen to that Brother Mary !!! Well what we've learned tonight is that we have to be careful what we wish for folks - don't it just make you wish they still taught that history shit in schools... Alas tonight we only brought forth a poor facsimilie of Mr Parry, and so we must learn to be more precise in the subject matter that we choose for our midnight incantations. So in that spirit, and so as we don't make the same mistake again, tomorrow night, around midnight, just hold the thought "Brown is a w@nker" in your heads - and we won't go far wrong... Goodnight all, and may your god go with you... X Y Y

I agree - but at least it was broadcast. That he had to suffer later-on for telling the truth is a very familiar story in this world of ours... We all quote from the BBC in our posts on here each day, whether ridiculing or praising. I don't see ITV or SKY getting quite as many mentions - Channel 4 may be mentioned in a few, but along with all of the commercial networks, any authority it carries is weakened by the fact it is funded by advertising. At least we all know who pays for the BBC... I think the BBC is as close to the truth as mainstream media gets anywhere in the world these days, and the irony is that it may just be due to all the nutjobs that work there. "Nation Shall Speak Peace Unto Nation" and all that cobblers... XYY

Hey, don't sweat it bro' - cheerful times are just around the corner. Just between the two of us, there's a possible cult religion up for grabs here, and me and you could be their Joseph and Mary... (Bags-eye Joseph...) Let's make a few quid as the founders of the "Pazza's Witnesses" - why, this time next year we'll be millionaires...!!! I'll get to work on the Pazza Bible right away... X Y Y

To be fair Eric, they did broadcast the LIAR LOAN expose programme you (quite rightly) often refer to. They ain't perfect, but in many ways, they're about all we've got... XYY

You cruel Puppet-Mastering person, you... For a brief moment there I thought the messiah had returned. "He is the messiah - and I should know, I've followed a few..." X Y Y

Aw c'mon Steve, that's most unfair on yourself - there's no way you're a miserable b@stard. Now if you'd said "complete and utter nutjob", then you might just've had a case... X Y Y

Which is kind of like that "Monkey's Paw" story that they always told us every halloween at school. So be careful what you wish for folks - this thread just 100% proved it !!! XYY PS: No monkeys were harmed during the making of this thread.

Blessed are the big-noses... XYY

Of course you aren't real human beings - how else could you lose that much blood each month and yet still remain alive...??? Thankfully some of us still are, baby... X Y Y

Ah shit folks, it has worked. but the laws of unforseen consequences have bit me on the @rse again. We focused on his avatars rather than him didn't we...? I know that 'cos I've just chased Brian Blessed and our lass says Barry from Eastenders is now at the door... XYY

It's Mike as far as I'm aware - or so his brother Cary told me... XYY

Tried to countdown the last ten minutes to midnight with a post every minute, but this kept happening... I think the communication network was sabotaged. Anyone up for trying again at noon tomorrow...??? X Y Y

NOW !!! Mr PARRY....

TEN MINUTES FOLKS...