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so, is this the reason that house price inflation is kept going - to keep people young? http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/flatmates-and-a-shit-job-make-you-seem-younger-say-experts-20150814101102 THE best way to feel younger is to have a dead-end job and live in a dilapidated shared house, researchers have found. Scientists discovered that expensive face creams, dressing fashionably and going clubbing have only one-tenth the effect of getting the bus to a call centre because you have neither a driving licence nor a car. Joanna Kramer of Bristol said: “I’m 36, but when I tell people I’m a part-time kitchen assistant at Wetherspoons they assume I’m in my early twenties. “I still haven’t got a proper debit card, have no idea what to do with my life and live with strangers I despise. It’s like I’ve only just graduated from university.” Retail worker Wayne Hayes agreed: “I think it’s the moped that does it for me. “Certainly nobody would look at me and think ‘This is a man in his late 30s, weighed down by the responsibility of a mortgage and a career. “I’m counting that as a win.” -
Mash nails it again http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/bear-grylls-attempting-to-survive-london-on-average-salary-20151103103502 BEAR Grylls’ latest challenge is to live in London while earning £12.50 an hour. The survival expert is filming a new Channel 4 series in which he attempts to survive equipped only with an average income and a ‘studio flat’ in Clapham. Grylls said: “Once I’d paid my £1,300 rent and put some money on my Oyster card there was nothing left for food, so I set a snare for my neighbour’s cat and cooked it in the sink. “Tomorrow I’ll set up some Polynesian bird traps on Clapham Common, so at least I’ll have some sparrows to put in my sandwiches. “I need some new shoes too, so I’ll cut down a tree and hope no one notices I’m wearing crude wooden flip-flops.” He added: “I can’t afford to do anything except stay in and worry about money, which is really depressing when you’re meant to be doing all the stuff in Time Out.” Grylls also revealed that his SAS ‘escape and evasion’ skills had allowed him to outwit Tesco security staff while stealing toilet rolls.