Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Return of the Comedy Club

VALUE OF YOUR HOME IS SET TO JUMP £10,000

HOME owners will see the value of their properties soar by nearly £10,000 this year as more buyers come on to the market, experts predict. The number of new buyers rose to an eight-month high in March, pushing the price of the average home up by £1,305 since the start of 2011. Experts forecast the trend to continue, adding five per cent to the value of homes by the end of the year. Assetz House Price Watch predicted a return to record highs by next year. Spokeswoman Sarah Lawrence said: “By spring 2012 prices will be back at the peak we saw in the spring of 2007 – the highest we had ever seen.”

Posted by little professor @ 12:47 AM (3944 views)
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21 thoughts on “Return of the Comedy Club

  • Let’s give credit where it’s due. The author of this article did their best to invoke the rising-property-feel-good factor. Check the photo.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    The man clearly has a hands on approach to property ogling.

    Then they slip in this bit at the end: “The National Association of Estate Agents said the number of new buyers registering with property agents had jumped from 268 in February to 290 in March.”

    Ergh, that’s a massive 22 new ‘registered’ buyers. I’ve never heard of the National Association of Estate Agents. Who cares?

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  • Adam, Eve and the serpent’s fruit shop

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  • mark wadsworth says:

    More interesting statistics from here: http://www.mortgageintroducer.com/mortgages/240030/5/Industry/Surge_in_demand_for_property_says_NAEA.htm

    “The National Association of Estate Agent’s market report for March showed an increase in the number of house hunters registering with an agent across the UK. The figure rose from 268 in February to 290 in March as an average per branch – its highest level in eight months.

    The number of houses available for sale decreased slightly from 70 per branch in February to 68 in March while the number of sales remained the same with eight per branch on average.

    The percentage of sales made to first-time buyers decreased slightly, moving from 25% of the market share to 23%, however this figure is still in line with the year-on-year average.”

    268 potential buyers, 68 houses and 8 sales per branch?

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  • Headlines like this should carry some form of liability, that would stop them printing so much misleading tripe.

    Newspapers should be reporting the news not spouting garbage about the likely cost of housing in a years time.

    Too many VI’s in this country trying to entice the young into a lifestyle of slavery so they can keep hold of their unearned housing riches.

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  • I reckon the guy in the photo is trying to gauge whether he needs a family house..:-)

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  • LOL!
    That’s wishful thinking and not going to happening any time soon, unless wages increase or the rich go on a mass house shopping spree.

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  • Houses set to jump by £10000…

    In other news inflation rate rises to 10% as the pound falls in value against other currencies

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  • The people in that library photo don’t look as though they hail from around these parts.

    That’s probably why they look so optimistic.

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  • Wot no Sarah O’Grady???

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  • sibley's b'stard child says:

    QC, perhaps they’re not would-be-buyers at all:

    “Yes, once we’ve evicted all those scruffy oiks, power-washed the walls down of hair-gel, and fumegated the cloying smell of EA’s desperation this will make a lovely bistro. By the way darling, would you mind terribly moving your right arm, i’m not sure what it’s doing there.”

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  • Credit availability curtailed.
    Liar loans ended.
    Interest only mortgages in decline.
    Interest rates at historic low for over two years, hasn’t pushed prices up.
    Interest rates can only rise.
    Mortgage applications down almost half since 2007.
    Real wages falling.
    First time buyers falling.
    University places to fall requiring less BTL accommodation.
    HOUSE PRICES SET TO RISE.

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  • Thecountofnowhere says:

    Cost of bread set to treble would be a better headline

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  • Based on the amount of joy on the faces of that couple in the photo I doubt if they are house hunting. More likely they are HPC regulars scoffing at the stupidity of the prices in their local area. She’s saying “Haaa, look! A quarter of a million for THAT!”

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  • Never mind. Next week’s Express headline will be “Homeowner gloom as house prices nosedive”. They’ve learned from the Glends Slag column in Private Eye that says things like “Hats – and shirts – off to Sir Cliff, he may be nudging seventy but the Peter Pan of Pop looks like a living doll as he bares all for the camera in Sunny Barbados”, followed by “For Gawd’s sake, granddad, put some clothes on – it’s you I’m talking to Sir Cliff – with your chest wig and fake tan, you look like a seedy, sad Saga lout….(cont p 94).

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  • A good list Will.

    I’d add an long term erosion of the belief (as in self fulfilling prophecy) that house prices can only go up.

    That said to really tip things into a decline we might get excited about, lender forbearance needs to wane.

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  • mark wadsworth says:

    Actually the woman is saying “Ha! That’s my ex-boyfriend’s flat! I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep up with the mortgage and I’m glad I let him buy out my half share back in 2007!”

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  • Virtually all of the comments on the Express site state contempt for the article itself.

    Perhaps it was written for the benefit of advertisers rather than readers …. just a thought.

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  • Where’s Sibley in the comments?

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  • John leaves the printing factory to go house hunting with the gorgeous Emma, but as usual forgets to wash his hands in the excitement.

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  • When I look in those windows, I try to put on a business-like face in case anyone passing by sees me gulp and realises that I can’t afford it.

    Grinning never occurred to me. Maybe he is trying extra to apologise for a misdemeanour…..
    Or maybe he is eyeing up the estate agent.

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