If Banks Were Run Like The Government

[Imp]

Every time you want to move money between accounts, you would have to apply in person to the current account department (located in Glasgow), the savings account department (located in Swansea) and the money transfer department (located in Scunthorpe).

You will need to fill in a form every year (with a £1000 fine for not doing so) to advise the bank you still have an account with them.

Paying in forms will not be available in branches, but are available by post if you make a written request to your branch for one. They would then be posted to you from your branch.

Only your branch can answer questions about your account, but your branch will be arbitrarily allocated to a marginal constituency to provide extra jobs there.

There will be 25 positions for bank tellers to work at, but only ever two tellers working at any one time.

Banks will open at 10.00am, close for a two hour lunch breaks, close at 4.00pm and will not open at weekends or bank holidays.

[South Lorne]

Every time you want to move money between accounts, you would have to apply in person to the current account department (located in Glasgow), the savings account department (located in Swansea) and the money transfer department (located in Scunthorpe).

You will need to fill in a form every year (with a £1000 fine for not doing so) to advise the bank you still have an account with them.

Paying in forms will not be available in branches, but are available by post if you make a written request to your branch for one. They would then be posted to you from your branch.

Only your branch can answer questions about your account, but your branch will be arbitrarily allocated to a marginal constituency to provide extra jobs there.

There will be 25 positions for bank tellers to work at, but only ever two tellers working at any one time.

Banks will open at 10.00am, close for a two hour lunch breaks, close at 4.00pm and will not open at weekends or bank holidays.

.....subtle ..but funny....also serious ...as this will happen when the Banks Nationalise ......

Edited November 28, 2008 by South Lorne