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Man Who Cannot Pronounce "going" Admits:


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A government minister, whose name is Tony McNulty, which luckily has an absence of the letter "G", announced on Channel 4 news tonight that he is not contemplatin' any rise in unemployment benefit cash levels. His message was clear, for a change. What he meant was this: "We are goin' to starve the unemployed into gettin' jobs that do not exist". To those who have a dim view, traditionally, of the unemployed as feckless, hopeless, lazy nincompoops who should get on their bikes and somehow create jobs which do not exist, this must come as welcome news. It remained unclear whether Mr McNulty considered that the simple task of pronouncing the letter "G" at appropriate places in the English language was a disadvantage in job seekers' efforts to find a suitable "opening", or rather "openin'".

Mr McNulty shot to power when it was discovered that he had a unique ability to mispronounce the simplest words, thereby demonstratin' that you needed almost zero command of your own langauge in order to earn high positions in government. Mr McNulty, who is careful to ration his spread of words ending in "G" said: " It is becomin' clear to the government that there are many seekin' jobs who are not using the right methods. Anyone who is hopin' for a free lunch will be sorely disappointed. We simply do not have the funds for servicin' the fundin' demand which future unemployment will require. Doctors have confirmed that there is no pathology for Mr McNulty's lack of awareness of "G" endings, or rather, "endin's". "It is pure laziness and lack of insight," they said, "but should normally not be considered a barrier in getting, oops, "gettin'", top jobs in a government for whom intelligent discourse is a low priority."

VP

Edited by VacantPossession
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On a serious note VP, given that deflation is looming, isn't "no rise" to be expected? If deflation gets serious, wages will get cut, and the government, although it always lags, will have to follow. (Unless a serious currency/gilt issuance crisis chops its feet from under it and everything gets cut, whilst Gordon stops taking calls.)

:lol: Personally, I'm looking forward to rereading that during my deathbed flashbacks.

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What a waste of 20 seconds of my life.

Yes I thought that would be the case here and there. This government harps on about "education" endlessly, and it pummels the population with mantras about qualifications, "culture", "skills", and the goodness of university life. I am pointing out a hypocracy. Hope you don't mind.

VP

Edited by VacantPossession
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o those who have a dim view, traditionally, of the unemployed as feckless, hopeless, lazy nincompoops who should get on their bikes and somehow create jobs which do not exist

As someone who left school in 1984 (slap bang in the middle of a recession) to go straight on the dole, perhaps I do have a tad less sympathy for those who have remained unemployed during the "nice" years when there were jobs aplenty.

:lol: Personally, I'm looking forward to rereading it during my deathbed flashbacks.

Suddenly that immortality project has developed an extra incentive. ;)

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