renterbob Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Based on his philosophy, the way of the open fist ('Jeet Koon doh'), he'd be telling us to look up to the moon for answers. To save without saving, grasshopper- link Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rough Diamond Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Kick his own ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Seek 'The Way of Administration'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest skullingtonjoe Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Seek 'The Way of Administration'. Have his own business empire specialising in selling islands once owned by evil drug lords (cf. Enter the Dragon; Mr Han) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flash harry Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Based on his philosophy, the way of the open fist ('Jeet Koon doh'), he'd be telling us to look up to the moon for answers.To save without saving, grasshopper- link aaahhhh the way of intercepting credit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krackersdave Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Screw Bruce Lee - what would Chuck Norris do!!!??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y-QUERK Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 what would Chuck Norris do!!!??? Screw Bruce Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swipe Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Take an aspirin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moo Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Screw Bruce Lee - what would Chuck Norris do!!!??? His tears would solve all liquidity problems, except Chuck Norris never crys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juvenal Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I'd like to see Lee v Bovey, one on one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry AKA Pod Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Take an aspirin ha ha ha :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest skullingtonjoe Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 ha ha ha :-) Sigh...it was not the aspirin (well that was not the ONLY factor); Bruce Lee also had a dodgy heart, as documented in The Tao of Jeet Kune Do Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shedfish Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Have his own business empire specialising in selling islands once owned by evil drug lords (cf. Enter the Dragon; Mr Han) Mr Lee did his fair share of Charlie ... unless he was a werewolf Screw Bruce Lee - what would Chuck Norris do!!!??? the funniest quote i ver heard... no idea where, was "there is no such thing as evolution - only the creatures Chuck Norris allows to live" i think it might have been Armando Iannucci... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry AKA Pod Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Sigh...it was not the aspirin (well that was not the ONLY factor); Bruce Lee also had a dodgy heart, as documented in The Tao of Jeet Kune Do Who cares? It was a witty, if rather sick post. Made me chuckle. I understand how Stromba felt last night now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest skullingtonjoe Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Who cares? It was a witty, if rather sick post. Made me chuckle. I understand how Stromba felt last night now. I care and therefore the detail is important (remember - "don`t focus on the finger too much, or you will miss all that heavenly glory!") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosh Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Screw Bruce Lee - what would Chuck Norris do!!!??? 1-20 of 100 Chuck Norris facts 1. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 5. It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen. 6. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 8. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. 9. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. 10. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 11. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 12. If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying. 13. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 14. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 15. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. 16. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 17. Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them. 18. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 19. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to. 20. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right leg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncle rogi Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Screw Bruce Lee you have not seen way of the dragon then i take it ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest skullingtonjoe Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 1-20 of 100 Chuck Norris facts1. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 5. It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen. 6. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 8. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. 9. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. 10. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 11. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 12. If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying. 13. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 14. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 15. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. 16. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 17. Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them. 18. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 19. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to. 20. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right leg Also, in Combat magazine, back in the `80s, Chuck Norris persoannly recommended `full contact jeans`, `ideal for street situations` Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enrieb Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 Also, in Combat magazine, back in the `80s, Chuck Norris persoannly recommended `full contact jeans`, `ideal for street situations` Was that in response to chuck-fact 17? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renterbob Posted November 13, 2008 Author Share Posted November 13, 2008 1-20 of 100 Chuck Norris facts1. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 5. It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen. 6. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. 7. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 8. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. 9. Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors. 10. Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop. 11. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". 12. If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying. 13. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. 14. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris 15. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public. 16. Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 17. Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them. 18. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 19. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to. 20. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right leg Brilliant...I have a cunning plan for this, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enrieb Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 (edited) 1-20 of 100 Gordon Brown facts 1. Gordon Brown does not attempt a strategy of increasing the tax revenue because the word 'attempt' implies the possibility of failure. Gordon Brown goes 'taxing'. 2. Gordon Brown' tears solve basic mathematic problems. Too bad he has never cried (or added up). 3. Gordon Brown does not sleep. He taxes. 4. The chief export of Gordon Brown is debt. 5. It is impossible to be financially butt-raped by Gordon Brown (unless you are non dom) because that would mean you did not want it to happen. 6. When the Taxpayer goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Gordon Brown. 7. If you can see Gordon Brown, he can tax you. If you can't see Gordon Brown you may be only seconds away from tax. 8. Gordon Brown frequently donates cash to the Red Cross. Just never his own. 9. Gordon Brown can tax revolving doors. 10. Gordon Brown was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the Tax burden to stop. 11. ......... 12. If you see Gordon Brown crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is having a lower standard of living. 13. Gordon Browns economic policies died ten years ago, but the BBC can't get up the courage to tell him. 14. Gordon Brown sleeps with a police man. Not because Gordon Brown is afraid of the tax payer, but because the tax payer is afraid of Gordon Brown. 15. Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Gordon Brown got an award for announcing a economic rescue package that saved the world. 16. Gordon Browns owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped Blair win the 2005 general election despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno. 17. Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Gordon Brown so he can tax the shit out of them. 18. Gordon Brown sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled economic ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Brown taxed the devil and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 19. They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Gordon Browns tax policies. There's never enough cash left for them to. 20. Gordon Brown is currently suing Old Labour, claiming Tax and Spend are trademarked names for his left and right arms. Edited November 13, 2008 by enrieb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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