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Laura

Nr Gave Donkey A 100% Mortgage.

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The lending practices of recent years took a new twist today when it was revealed that Northern Rock really did lend to any-body.

According to their records in March 2006 they lent a donkey named Matthew £290,000 to buy a flat in Newcastle.

This reinforces the view of many that selling on the loan for profit was of more importance than the credit rating of the mortgagee.

Not one mortgage payment was ever received & it is understood the builders were offering a 5% cash back on the sale.

Previous NR stalwart Adam Applegarth was unavailable for comment.

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Ok confession time- I actualy took this seriosly for about a minute- which says a lot about either how gullible I am or how absurd the world has become lately. It just didn't seem that implausible any more. :(

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Guest X-QUORK

Little donkey, little donkey on the property ladder

Got to keep on making payments, though it makes you even madder

Been a long time, little donkey, since the price was right

Dont get angry, little donkey,

Cos your investment's

Turned to sh!te

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Only an ass would make a joke as bad as that

too true, 'eeeaaawwt to have know better than to make it

Edited by Mr Nice

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It just didn't seem that implausible any more. :(

It's produced some great replies though.

Just shows how far we've come from a stable market.

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Guest DissipatedYouthIsValuable

I wouldn't have given that donkey a mortgage, he's hopeless with money. Spends it all on Mexican Woman Shows.

"Barnacles" on the other hand, saves up all his summer beachwork money and only spends a little on pipe tobacco in the winter. Cash in hand, of course. No credit rating.

Edited by DissipatedYouthIsValuable

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Q: What do you call a really clever minature donkey with three legs and one eye that can play the piano, has a bad case of wind, has been attacked by a squid and bought a two-bed executive appartment?

A: An inky thinky stinky plinky-plonky winky wonky dinky donkey with a long face

Edited by Cogs

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  • 399 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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