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Sour Mash

The Onion:recession-plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

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The Onion

WASHINGTON—A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest.

"What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future," said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. "We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."

looks like the yanks get it too.....

:lol:

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The Onion

WASHINGTON—A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest.

"What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future," said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. "We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."

looks like the yanks get it too.....

:lol:

Very many thanks for this SM:

"Every American family deserves a false sense of security," said Chris Reppto, a risk analyst for Citigroup in New York. "Once we have a bubble to provide a fragile foundation, we can begin building pyramid scheme on top of pyramid scheme, and before we know it, the financial situation will return to normal."

If nothing else we can (hopefully) share an appreciation of the absurd with our American friends

edited to add (hopefully)

Edited by greysquirrel

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"America needs another bubble," said Chicago investor Bob Taiken. "At this point, bubbles are the only thing keeping us afloat.

Very nice. :lol:

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This part is the best bit:

The most support thus far has gone toward the so-called paper bubble. In this appealing scenario, various privately issued pieces of paper, backed by government tax incentives but entirely worthless, would temporarily be given grossly inflated artificial values and sold to unsuspecting stockholders by greedy and unscrupulous entrepreneurs.

"Little pieces of paper are the next big thing," speculator Joanna Nadir, of Falls Church, VA said. "Just keep telling yourself that. If enough people can be talked into thinking it's legitimate, it will become temporarily true."

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Guest Bart of Darkness
I predict an Injin response....soon

Injin doesn't believe in responses.... or predictions. ;)

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Not found it on the internet, but my favourite Onionism is in the Our Dumb Century book:

Headline for Oct 22 1929: STOCKMARKET INVINCIBLE: BUY BUY BUY!

facing page:

Headline for October 29 1929: PENCILS FOR SALE: Stocke market crasahes, debacle linked to Jews Nnegroes, Catholics, Anarchists, Foreigners, Women Voters!

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  • 399 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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