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Guest Noodle

A Real Sunday Treat

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Guest Mr Parry

Admittedly pinched from the other side . . .

Ralph Bending . . . Estate Agent Extrodinaire!!!


Even has these put on RightMove!

What the owner describes as a very sexy pair and I would have to agree. Both have been beautifully enhanced and one would ave to say are 'firm and perky'. Ideal buy to let. Suit Landlord with a veracious appetite. £95,000 and £99,950

Where Guinevere lost her cherry and Arthur luckily found it. Don't think I've ever been in a house that reeks of character quite so much. Really wonderful old rambling place on the underside of the Tor with more soul in it's fat belly than you can shake a stick at.

'Bend over boy'. I still remember the thrill of the cane as it swiped my tender bottom and left me with the sting of correction. It did no good, I'm still smoking and probably enjoying it more. Lovely atmospheric converted school house with six bedrooms. £385,000

Some poor sod is going to end up buying this place. You know the sort, sensible shoes (probably Clarks Commandos), card evenings, shepards pie and a quick roll on a Wednesday night. £170,000

What a rare find. As characerful as a vegitarians fart. Lots of lovely features remain intact including quarry tiled hall, stripped wooden floors and panel doors. Three upstairs bedrooms, large sitting room, kitchen, bathroom and courtyard at the back.

. . . . and many, many similar gems.

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Guest Mr Parry

His latest,


Greedy landlord looking for a return? Then look no further my dirty friend as you contemplate the delight of unearned income and fiddle with what I hope is loose change in your pocket. One bed top floor flat with a tenant paying £425 a month.

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The best one I saw has in the full description (ie. the entire full details section of the rightmove ad) the following:

"Bring a cloth"


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Smooth as a bishops ball-bag. Two bedroom semi detached house
Somerset's answer to Sangatte. Ferocious investment opportunity producing £116,580 per annum with development possibilities. 25 units - all let.
Heavily used two bedroom terrace house just off the centre of it all. Classically designed and then royally rodgered this 'beauty with a birth mark' has a hall, sitting room, cloak room, fitted kitchen, two bedrooms and a surprisingly clean bathroom.

This is one EA I'd quite like to meet - and not for the usual reason referenced elsewhere in the press this morning... :lol::lol:

Can anyone advise how best to get half-chewed cornflakes out of my keyboard please? :blink:


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I am addicted to Ralph's Game. Can they develop it as a multi-player networked version, I wonder?

Edited by Paddles

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Anyone old enough to remember that great EA Roy Brooks?

You can even buy a book of his best ads.


I like Humphrey Burton's description best:-

‘Roy Brooks was to estate dealing what Gerard Hoffnung was to music – unique and irreplaceable’

& I hope everyone here knows of Gerard Hoffnung?

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  • 399 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?

      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%

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