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Is Hbos Run By Scotsmen?

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FINANCIAL watchdogs are to investigate malicious rumours that HBOS, one of Britain's leading banks, is run by filthy Scotsmen.

Shares in the bank plunged yesterday after unscrupulous traders claimed the 'S' in HBOS stood for 'Scotland' and that the bank had been taken over by a gang of 'arseholed Glaswegians'.

Julian Cook, a senior trader at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "After I'd dumped £220 million worth of stock, my first thought was for the poor people at HBOS, having to cope with all those awful Scotsmen."

He added: "It's worse than having a bank run by Geordies."

A spokesman for the Financial Services Authority said: "It is deeply irresponsible to suggest that a major British bank is run by dirty Scotsmen. As everyone knows the 'S' stands for 'Sheffield'.

"HBOS is run by square-jawed Yorkshiremen, who go to church every Sunday and whose cheeks are red from long, character-building walks in the Pennines and vigorous games of rugby league."

Despite official reassurances some HBOS customers have withdrawn their savings, terrified at the prospect of it being touched by stinking, foul-mouthed Glaswegians.

Alice Peters, a teacher from Swindon, said: "Oh my God, they'll steal all my money and spend it on strong lager, deep fried confectionery and sporran wax."

Tom Logan, a retired policeman from Watford, said: "I was worried the branch manager would grab me by the lapels, breathe vodka and Coke all over me, then put his arm round my neck and force me to sing We Are Sailing."

An HBOS spokesman said: "Och, dinnae be a big clootie. There's nae Scotsmen here, apart from yon laddie who cleans oot the bogs."

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FINANCIAL watchdogs are to investigate malicious rumours that HBOS, one of Britain's leading banks, is run by filthy Scotsmen.

Very witty, I LMFAO :lol:

Accepted as humour and I'm sure written with no real intention to upset our Northern brothers & sisters.

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Guest anorthosite

Worse than geordies? You just have to look at Broon to know we're the best at screwing up the economy :P

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Isn't the Daily Mash written by Scots?

I think it's supposed to be a joke about the prejudices against Scotsmen by the English.

And of course no Scotsman would ever be prejuduced against the English. Thats unheard of!

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Guest anorthosite
anorthosite,

Your avatar makes me feel dirty, but not in a gay way, just dirty.

That's the idea! I figured this place had an unofficial "most tasteless avatar" competition going when I saw someone's Anthea Turner avatar and decided to join in ;)

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  • 297 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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