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PotNoodle

Fsa Squashes Another Rumour - Northern Rock

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Felicity Wingold, the Head of The FSA's Dept of Commercial Media Affairs, was outraged by rumours wildly

circulating the financial markets and called a press conference at the Dorchester Hotel this afternoon.

"I am outraged that rumours are being maliciously circulated that Northern Rock intends to assist

it's present borrowers once their products run out. There is absoutely no truth whatsoever in this

perverse information. Let me make it very clear that Northern Rock have no intention whatsoever

of giving any help, in any way, shape or form to punt- I mean customers - once they need to re-mortgage."

After receiving a mobile phone call, she continued,

"And we further wish to pre-empt any further mis-information regarding our own part in the catast- er, the

saving of this magnificent institution. We are proud to have been involved in this venture which will reward

every single taxpayer in the country with, a ... ummm... stake in this highly profitable business."

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More rumours are circulating on how to protect yourself from the Credit Crunch:

Hold a chicken in the air

Stick a deck-chair up your nose

Buy a Jumbo-Jet

Bury all your clothes

Paint your left knee green

Extract your wisdom teeth

Form a string quartet

Pretend your name is Keith

Skin yourself alive

Learn to speak araphahoe

Climb inside a dog

Behead an Eskimo

Eat a Renault 4

Wear salami in your ears

Cassarole your gran

Dis-embowel yourself with spears

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......... Northern Rock have no intention whatsoever

of giving any help, in any way, shape or form to punt- I mean customers - once they need to re-mortgage."

............every single taxpayer in the country with, a ... ummm... stake in this highly profitable business."

:lol::P Great post PN!

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  • 298 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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