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Gone baby gone

Free Bank With Every New Mobile

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More mashtastic humour!



COMPETITION has intensified in the mobile phone market with rival companies offering a medium-sized bank with every new handset.


T-Mobile's Nokia/Lloyds TSB deal includes built-in GPS and 63,000 staff

Vodafone are tempting new customers with a Motorola V9 or a Samsung G600 and their choice of HBOS, the Woolwich or Bradford and Bingley.

A Vodafone spokesman said: "The HBOS deal is going well, but a lot of people are saying they would rather just have the phone without being saddled with the Woolwich's over-valued mortgage book."

Carphone Warehouse said it has attracted thousands of new sign ups with its range of Nokia deals, which include a bluetooth headset and a seat on the board of Alliance and Leicester.

A company spokesman said: "We don't want to overwhelm people. At the end of the day they are buying a phone, not a bank."

Meanwhile O2 is enhancing its Apple iPhone offer with 200 free minutes, 100 free texts and a controlling stake in BNP-Paribas.

Roy Hobbs, deputy chief economist at Madeley-Finnigan, said: "More and more people are transferring their assets out of banks and into Tupperware. And then putting the Tupperware on a secret shelf inside the chimney breast.

"Inevitably this means warehouses filled with worthless banks that have to be given away for nothing before they start to stink like rotting cheese."

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  • 293 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?

      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%

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