Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum
Sign in to follow this  

Hedge Funds Now Most Important Thing People Know Nothing About

Recommended Posts

HEDGE funds have overtaken the Big Bang as the most important thing people know nothing about.

Many people have no idea how to read the EconomistAs a massive American hedge fund faces imminent collapse, millions of people across the globe have found themselves panicking without the faintest idea why.

Tom Logan, head of markets at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "This fund was over-speculated in long-term, prime-reverse wide-money.

"It could be devastating or it could be utterly insignificant. Would you like to buy a Range Rover?"

Wayne Hayes, 42, from Chelmsford, said: "I was saying to Geoff, I said, 'Geoff mate, this is the big one'. And he's like, 'why?', and I'm like, 'if you don't know, there's no point in me trying to explain it you'."

Meanwhile Nikki Hollis, 33, from Doncaster said: "It couldn't have been very strong. Did they get it from Homebase? I hope they managed to get all the little birds nests out."

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said the confusion over hedge funds had arisen because many ordinary people were buying the Economist, but then reading it upside down.


He added: "Essentially, hedge funds are used to buy commodities like rice, jam, stock cubes and the like.

"When the stock cubes reach the agreed 'hedging' level the shares are transformed into something called 'double-bonded, hard-edged gilts' which then take on one and a half times their initial value for a period of around six weeks.

"After six weeks the buyer, or 'goose', can then hand them back or sell them 'up the chain'. If, at that point, the value falls, you become a homeless crack addict."

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • 293 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?

      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%

  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.