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vfr

In 2002 This What An Se1 Estate Agent Thought -hilarious!

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http://www.london-se1.co.uk/forum/read/1/2477/page=4

Well, Well - the world is against estate agents again! How truely unoriginal. Let me tell you something. Its not the estate agents that are all 'rude, arrogant, crooks, slippery, corney, untrustworthy, yuppies ........'. THE BUYERS AND VENDORS ARE ALL OF THE ABOVE AND MORE. Mind you, sweeping statements like this are ill advised, but then I have dealt with more buyers and sellers of properties than most of you dreamed exist.

I used to own a major estate agency company, that had 4 offices, for 8 years. I was also on the board of directors of several much larger estate agency chains. I was a member of most of the 'official regulatory bodies' etc, etc. But what drove me out of the business (in fact I sold it to a man with a dog and a white stick!) was the incredibly ingorant attitude of most vendors and buyers.

Let me give you a few pointers from the estate agents end. On an average day, we would receive about 50/100 calls from prospective buyers who wanted to buy a property. Most of them throught that they were the only ones looking to buy and most of them had little idea of what they really wanted. Most of them always seemed to think that because of them, thats how we (the estate agent) got paid. FIRSTLY, The SELLER PAYS the estate agent the fee, not the damn buyer. SECONDLY, 99 times out of 100, if you don't buy the property, then someone else will. THIRDLY, estate agents act ONLY ON BEHALF OF THE SELLERS INTERESTS. The buyer is probably one of 1,000 that any estate agent has on their books at any one time.

TIP NUMBER 1) If you want to buy a property, firstly, decide on the area you want to be in, research the type of property your budget will get you (by looking on all those terrible estate agency web sites) and then, AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, if you are serious about wanting to buy a property, THEN BE THE ESTATE AGENTS FRIEND. You've all heard and see those disgusting stories when a waiter takes a dislike to you or someone on your table and they go and spit in your soup when you are not looking. WELL GUESS WHAT, Estate Agents are just like waiters. If you are nice to them, they will remember you and you will get the phone call when the right property comes on. GUESS WHAT, If you are an arrogant stuck up ***** how things that all estate agents are twats, you will only get to buy the CRAP - THE WORST VALUE PROPERTY THE ESTATE AGENT CAN FIND YOU.

TIP NUMBER 2) When you call an estate agent to register your details, take and write down the name of the negotiator you spoke to. THEN MAKE IT YOU BUSINESS TO MAKE SURE THEY LIKE YOU. Call them everyday or every other day to tell them that you are still looking and that you are very keen to buy. WHY? Because if you don't, then 20 other smarter people will AND THEY WILL BUY ALL OF THE DECENT PROPERTIES. Between the four offices I owned, we had about 2,000 buyers on our books. My rules to the negotiators were KEEP A LIST OF THE TOP 20 HOT BUYERS and disguard the rest. A Hot buyer is a buyer who is polite, obviously serious about buying (because they call the agent every day or at least 2/3 times a week) and not too stuck up that they think that all estate agents should be

castrated.

TIP NUMBER 3) Don't lie to the estate agent. HOW DARE YOU I hear you cry. FACT - 80% of people who call estate agents to ask to buy a property LIE about some aspect of their situation (whether they have a property to sell or not - whether they have a mortgage ACTUALLY ARRANGED rather than having spoken to a mate of a mate how can arrange mortgages)

FACT - Probably only about 10% of all property purchases are made by buyers who have actually bought exactly what they wanted. The other 90% have been SOLD TO by the estate agent.

As for SELLERS, bloody hell - most of them are worse than the buyers. They all think that their property is THE BEST IN THE STREET, BLOCK etc. 'My apartment has three windows in the living room, all the others have only two and all the others overlook the sewage works' - 'Tanners Yard is far better than those scummy flats in The Exchange' - 'My BANKSIDE LOFT was designed by probably the greatest architect since the geezer who designed st pauls' . They all assume that their property is the finest one of its kind. WRONG!!!! As estate agents, we get to see 100's & 100's of properties and I can tell you -THERE IS NO ACCOUNTING FOR TASTE - Most sellers idea of what is good about their property, is most other peoples worst nightmare. OPEN PLAN KITCHENS for example - THE WORST POSSIBLE DESIGN ASPECT ABOUT ANY PROPERTY - WHY - Because you were suckered into buying into this CRAP by those bloody developers - who hide behind those bloody estate agents - WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE 'KITCHEN? I pity all you poor bastards with your open plan kitchens, laminate wood floors, 3rd floor walk up ex-council, pretend warehouse conversions (yes, I do mean TANNERS YARD, THE EXCHANGE, MAIDSTONE MEWS, THE SCHOOL HOUSE, THAT HORRIBLE DISGUSTING SCHOOL CONVERSION OVERLOOKING THE OLD KENT ROAD FLYOVER, THE PUMP HOUSE (grow up), BANKSIDE LOFTS (you're all pissing yourselves now with the impending 26 storey building going right in your faces - thats 30% off your price right now) By the way ACORN HOMES (not acorn estate agents - they're nice) - BUGGER OFF FROM SE1 - WE DON''T WANT ANY MORE OF YOUR IMPOSSIBLY CRAP QUALITY, FALL APART, RE-PRODUCTION SHITE IN SE1 ANYMORE. MARKS AND SPENCER PRAWN SANDWICHES ARE DEFINATLY BETTER BUILT AND WOULD GET AN NHBC CERTIFICATE FAR MORE EASILY THAN YOUR RUBBISH).

As a seller, trust me, there is always a better property than yours just round the corner.

I have not got time now to go into detail of all the totally unethical behaviour I have witnessed from sellers over the years. Lets just say that IDI AMIN is a cherub in comparison to many 'vendors' that I have come across.

Look boys and girls. Estate Agents are real people. They have opinions, like we all have, they all have their own personalities, bizarre and strange, like all of you lot and they work to make a living, just like you lot. In SE1, you have an excellent choice of many estate agents.

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Who

Pronunciation: \ˈhü, ü\

Function: pronoun

Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hwā; akin to Old High German hwer, interrog. pron., who, Latin quis, Greek tis, Latin qui, relative pron., who

Date: before 12th century

1 : what or which person or persons —used as an interrogative <who was elected?><find out who they are> —used by speakers on all educational levels and by many reputable writers, though disapproved by some grammarians, as the object of a verb or a following preposition <who did I see but a Spanish lady — Padraic Colum><do not know who the message is from — G. K. Chesterton>

2 : the person or persons that : whoever

3 —used as a function word to introduce a relative clause ; used especially in reference to persons <my father, who was a lawyer> but also in reference to groups <a generation who had known nothing but war — R. B. West> or to animals <dogs who…fawn all over tramps — Nigel Balchin> or to inanimate objects especially with the implication that the reference is really to a person <earlier sources who maintain a Davidic ancestry — F. M. Cross> ; used by speakers on all educational levels and by many reputable writers, though disapproved by some grammarians, as the object of a verb or a following preposition <a character who we are meant to pity — Times Literary Supplement>

How

Pronunciation: \ˈhau̇\

Function: adverb

Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hū; akin to Old High German hwuo how, Old English hwā who — more at who

Date: before 12th century

1 a: in what manner or way b: for what reason : why c: with what meaning : to what effect d: by what name or title

2: to what degree or extent

3: in what state or condition <how are you>

4: at what price <how a score of ewes now — Shakespeare>

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and then, AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, if you are serious about wanting to buy a property, THEN BE THE ESTATE AGENTS FRIEND.

Blimey, it's a time traveller from 2002!

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this is frustration of the highest order being vented, but to be fair i know how he feels......I used to sell cars for a main dealer and we had one saying that always rang true.

"ALL BUYERS ARE LIARS"

This is so true but buyers think because they are spending a few quid they have the right to lie, whereas if the salesman tells a porky all hell breaks loose.

moral= treat salespeople how you would like to be treated otherwise they will do evil things and you wont even know they have done them.....trust me :P

i can also imagine alot of stuff regarding vendors attitudes ringing true as well.

the thing that will have changed from 2002 though is the people seemingly fighting over each other to buy property and the EA's choosing who gets what.

2002 = SELLERS MARKET

2008 = BUYERS (if there are nay) MARKET

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A while back, someone posted here that in the future we might see the return of sealed bids... just the other way round; i.e. you tell 5 EAs that you've got £200k and tell them to give you a sealed bid with their best property at that price.

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A while back, someone posted here that in the future we might see the return of sealed bids... just the other way round; i.e. you tell 5 EAs that you've got £200k and tell them to give you a sealed bid with their best property at that price.

nice one

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Guest AuntJess

Thanks for ther heads up vfr, I found your little rant informative. As you say the vendor pays the EA so they act in their best interests. I find it interesting however, that SOME EA's advise the vendor - when s/he is asking way too much and offers are few, if any - to drop the price.

When we sold my MiLaws house when she died, the EA told us to accept ridiculous offers: A huge well-appointed pre-war semi located in THE residential area of the town: on the market for 80K they were telling us to accept 60K!!!I know we were at the bottom of the bust then, but I am convinced that the EA acted for the buyer. It was actually on TV in one of these Horizon/Dispatches type progs. that EAs can - and do - take back-handers from buyers in order to beat the vendor down.

Many EAs play to the greed of some housesellers and encourage them to hold out, IMO. I have seen it around here where I now live. Prices would fall much faster if it weren't for EAs. AFAIAC, EAs are an unnecessary expense.

I recently paid mine 6K to " sell" :rolleyes: my house, but ended up doing most of the viewings as they were "outside their hours of work". Yeah, right. Pity I did not say that their fee was outside my budget. :ph34r:

Edited by AuntJess

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I have made a note to hunt as hard as I can for sales WITHOUT going through an EA. Then I (the **** buyer) and the **** seller can be the best of friends and the EAs can F-OFF.

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I have made a note to hunt as hard as I can for sales WITHOUT going through an EA. Then I (the **** buyer) and the **** seller can be the best of friends and the EAs can F-OFF.

Lots of the floop plans on rightmove have the full address in the title.

Might be easy to pop round and arrange a private viewing...

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Thanks for ther heads up vfr, I found your little rant informative.

I think you'll find that vfr was merely quoting a real estate forum circa 2002.

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I think you'll find that vfr was merely quoting a real estate forum circa 2002.

Not even a real estate forum, but a community forum (quite possibly the best in the UK, actually - I used to post alot when I lived there).

I can't quite see why this has been brought back from the grave - what's the relevance other than to see how Estate Agents act?

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Not even a real estate forum, but a community forum (quite possibly the best in the UK, actually - I used to post alot when I lived there).

I can't quite see why this has been brought back from the grave - what's the relevance other than to see how Estate Agents act?

what's the relevance other than to see how Estate Agents act?

only that IMO as OP. although possibly it would be interesting to know what the same guy would say today. Some people find it interesting some don't. you obviously don't so why not just ignore it, you obviously think posting it was a waste of time.

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what's the relevance other than to see how Estate Agents act?

only that IMO as OP. although possibly it would be interesting to know what the same guy would say today. Some people find it interesting some don't. you obviously don't so why not just ignore it, you obviously think posting it was a waste of time.

I wasn't responding to you, I was responding to another poster.

Is that allowed or do we suddenly need OP's permission to reply to topics?

Get a grip, man.

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I wasn't responding to you, I was responding to another poster.

Is that allowed or do we suddenly need OP's permission to reply to topics?

Get a grip, man.

my apologies

Edited by vfr

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Blimey, it's a time traveller from 2002!

And what about the biggest elephant in the room? LIAR LOANS, LIE-TO-BUY.... THIS has enabled people to "afford" the ludicrous prices.....

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In 2000 i wanted to buy a flat in an area perfect for first time buyers (i.e dirt cheap with its problems but liveable), tried my luck in both julie twist and shepard gilmour of manc, then the only city centre specialists. Got the same kind of attitude described in the OP. They never even got back to me when suitable properties came onto the market.

In the end i just cut em out and went straight to the seller.

I'd recommend more people doing the same.

Next time i'll cut out the solicitor who was awful (Rowlands)

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He seemed to be talking a lot of sense to me, given the context. And it clearly came from the heart!

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A nice trick with EAs is to get a friend (or friends) to offer multiple offers that are lower than yours. A relative did this for me and it helped focus the seller's mind enormously. I've also done it for a colleague.

Its great when the EA tells you that they have other buyers that are interested and you know who they are and that their offers are lower than yours :lol:

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  • 293 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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