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Benedict

Britains Most Expensive House - A Masterclass In Tastlessness

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http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life...icle2063732.ece

What a vile looking place. Okay, I wish I had £70m to splash around, but it's pretty wrong . . .

Extravagance? If you’re spending more than £70m on a house, you expect something special. So it has another four pools, a glass-walled squash court, a private cinema and a two-lane bowling alley in the basement. Oh, and several sitting and entertaining rooms, 13 bedrooms, 20 bathrooms and 43 lavatories, all set in 11 acres of landscaped gardens and 46 acres of woodland.

43 lavatories and 20 bathrooms? Is the owner seriously incontinent?

It's the £3m heated marble driveway that gets me. A marble driveway is bad enough, but heated? It's a driveway FFS!

Two escape tunnels and a panic room? They probably need them just to avoid all the people wanting to burn them at the stake for their bad taste.

Saying that, " a master bedroom with ensuite, but at Updown Court, in Windlesham, on the Surrey-Berkshire border, the term takes on a new meaning. We are not talking bathroom here, but ensuite swimming pool – 12 metres long, with a proper deep end, reached by a glass lift that can whisk you there straight from your four-poster. " does sound pretty cool . . .

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All those toilets, escape routes and panic rooms.

Perfect place for Northern Rock management. They can even get a 125% loan underwritten by Bankrupt of England from the company they supposedly run.

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i think its ******ing lush! i just wanna buy it and hang burberry curtains!

heated marble driveway? essential, i dont know what your talking about, you can walk down to the post box bare foot in winter, thats lavish!

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Nice. I see it's been on sale since 2004 though.

Savills is clearly hoping that, as the market continues to rise, the price tag will cease to look quite so excessive. ... The price tag, Holborow suggests mischievously, might even be too modest: “With such growing confidence and the market increasing, perhaps we ought to be asking more.”

... or they could convert it into an asylum for deluded estate agents.

If they're having problems selling it, they might be able to persuade the government to help them by stepping in and buying it with taxpayers' money.

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The Video Tour glosses over some issues: the manager of the estate describes all the staff necessary to run the place, 'And then there are the girls that clean constantly"! I wonder if they are given accommodation on the estate, as in days of yore, or whether they travel in daily from their shared room in a Polish-owned multiple-occupancy BTL in the crappest part of the nearest Crap Town?

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i think its ******ing lush! i just wanna buy it and hang burberry curtains!

heated marble driveway? essential, i dont know what your talking about, you can walk down to the post box bare foot in winter, thats lavish!

In your dressing gown, Tony Soprano style.

Surely at £70m you'd have flunkies to bring you your post?

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http://property.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life...icle2063732.ece

What a vile looking place. Okay, I wish I had £70m to splash around, but it's pretty wrong . . .

43 lavatories and 20 bathrooms? Is the owner seriously incontinent?

It's the £3m heated marble driveway that gets me. A marble driveway is bad enough, but heated? It's a driveway FFS!

Two escape tunnels and a panic room? They probably need them just to avoid all the people wanting to burn them at the stake for their bad taste.

Saying that, " a master bedroom with ensuite, but at Updown Court, in Windlesham, on the Surrey-Berkshire border, the term takes on a new meaning. We are not talking bathroom here, but ensuite swimming pool – 12 metres long, with a proper deep end, reached by a glass lift that can whisk you there straight from your four-poster. " does sound pretty cool . . .

I think I might put an offer in, it would only require a mortgage worth 2500 times my salary and I have a 0.04% deposit so I could just about manage it. :P

Which lender should I try? NR?

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They've been taking journos around that place for a couple of years now, trying to drum up some interest in someone buying the place. The guy whose "brainchild" it is has spent £35m and wants to shift it for £70m.

Personally I don't like the name: Updown Court - yuck!

(The rest is ok, although on top of the £70m price you would have to find another £1m or so a year to run the place.)

Edited by Nationalist

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Personally I don't like the name: Updown Court - yuck!

A rather uncomfortable name - does it make unconscious reference to its owners fears for its value on the market? I would have named it Down Down Deeper and Down Court.

Edited by Last Avenue

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Guest Shedfish
A rather uncomfortable name - does it make unconscious reference to its owners fears for its value on the market? I would have named it Down Down Deeper and Down Court.

Millstone Heights?

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It's so desirable, it's been on the market since July :lol:

No, its been on the market for years. I've seen loads of programs, newspaper articles etc. about this house.

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It's so desirable, it's been on the market since July :lol:

It's been on the market since July with that agent.

Its actually been on the market for years and years.

EDIT: Damn, beaten to it!

Edited by Timm

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