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laurejon

Bank Of England To Underwrite World Debt

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Whilst I was asleep today having completed a nightshift in order to prop up our failing economy and do my bit via the punative New Labour tax system, I awoke to find I am living in a new country.

An economic miracle took place today whilst I was sleeping, New Labour took control of the failed Bank of England, turned the worlds economy around in less than 8 hours, and the UK became the worlds richest nation. Indeed as news of the Bank of England propping up the worlds currency market took place, exchanges around the world toasted the good news with a healthy helping of Pino Grigio over lunch and returned to push the markets up further.

The UK will now underwrite billions of pounds in savers deposit accounts, will underwrite all bad mortgage debt, indeed they are gagging to purchase any bad debts the banks hold. Given that the Uk is supposedly failing due to the US sub-prime mortgage debacle, and the possibility that the UK banks are holding some of the risk (Not sure what UK banks there are left, most are in foreign hands) I would guess that the gesture from Gordon is in effect to underwrite the entire worlds bad debt.

Now that is simply a miracle, and I for one will be writing to the pope requesting that Gordon and Tony be made living saints as they have each performed several miracles before, each one can be verified by the cabinet and they have the documents to prove it, available within fifteen minutes.

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Hey its what would happen every election time if the govt could print debt free fiat.

Is that what yo want? Cos that's what would happen.

Nightshift eh? Me too. Extra money to die younger, sign me up!

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Whilst I was asleep today having completed a nightshift in order to prop up our failing economy and do my bit via the punative New Labour tax system, I awoke to find I am living in a new country.

An economic miracle took place today whilst I was sleeping, New Labour took control of the failed Bank of England, turned the worlds economy around in less than 8 hours, and the UK became the worlds richest nation. Indeed as news of the Bank of England propping up the worlds currency market took place, exchanges around the world toasted the good news with a healthy helping of Pino Grigio over lunch and returned to push the markets up further.

The UK will now underwrite billions of pounds in savers deposit accounts, will underwrite all bad mortgage debt, indeed they are gagging to purchase any bad debts the banks hold. Given that the Uk is supposedly failing due to the US sub-prime mortgage debacle, and the possibility that the UK banks are holding some of the risk (Not sure what UK banks there are left, most are in foreign hands) I would guess that the gesture from Gordon is in effect to underwrite the entire worlds bad debt.

Now that is simply a miracle, and I for one will be writing to the pope requesting that Gordon and Tony be made living saints as they have each performed several miracles before, each one can be verified by the cabinet and they have the documents to prove it, available within fifteen minutes.

That about sums it all up. I don't think you should include TB as one of the saints though. After all, Brown is the one who is known as the greatest Chancellor Britain has ever had and it is he who has been credited with miracle economics. I am not sure if Gordon will be sainted though as People Magazine got in there first and voted him in the top 50 sexiest men aliive. I do not think Gordon will aprrciated being listed with mere mortals such as TB. His recent meeting with Maggie indicates that he prefers to be associated with the Greats.

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Seems that way to me - I am having difficulty thinking of what will be next. It is as if we have just been forced to put all our chips on 'black 35' and the ball is currently spinning! I am perhaps naive with this analogy, but it feels like one hell of a gamble with the whole country on the line.

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I strongly suspect that Gordon 'ron' Brown has such a massive ego and such a fear of failure that he will do most anything to avert the stigma of a crash - including what he has just done which is to signed the tax payer up to taking up all sort of sub-prime debt from the banks as collateral.

I think he will go further - he will most certainly lower interest rates - bail out the next bank(s) that gets into trouble through lax lending (which GB has effectively given them the green light on) and I hate to say this - he will also allow trade unions to get away with 'inflation busting' pay rises (I hate that word 'inflation busting' because everying is inflation busting these days - you'd think in the interests of a green environment they'd save paper and ink and just call it inflation).

He is on the road to taxing savers even more and rewarding speculators by encouraging inflation - a sader society will result and he will have his communist Britain - we will all rely on him for alms.

HAL

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Guest mattsta1964
I strongly suspect that Gordon 'ron' Brown has such a massive ego and such a fear of failure that he will do most anything to avert the stigma of a crash - including what he has just done which is to signed the tax payer up to taking up all sort of sub-prime debt from the banks as collateral.

I think he will go further - he will most certainly lower interest rates - bail out the next bank(s) that gets into trouble through lax lending (which GB has effectively given them the green light on) and I hate to say this - he will also allow trade unions to get away with 'inflation busting' pay rises (I hate that word 'inflation busting' because everying is inflation busting these days - you'd think in the interests of a green environment they'd save paper and ink and just call it inflation).

He is on the road to taxing savers even more and rewarding speculators by encouraging inflation - a sader society will result and he will have his communist Britain - we will all rely on him for alms.

HAL

I don't think there'll be any inflation busting pay rises.

They'd have to be in axcess of 10% just to keep up with the cost of living in this scum hole country

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7004109.stm

hold the presses-Uk Government backtracks on promise to secure the whole worlds debt.

Thank you very much for that.Hurrah ,I withdrew 35K worth of F*ck Clusters on Saturday and tried to abort the procedure on Tuesday when they had become Gilt Edged F*ck Clusters(since Nortern Rock defaulted on the CHAPs transfer).Now I will either get my F*ck Clusters at 6.4% should the Branch's FAX intercept the closure or get a new issue of F*ck Clusters at 6.71%,which will cover my lost interest while the cheque is in limbo land.Gilt edged and 100% guaranteed whichever.

Edited by crashmonitor

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Since it would otherwise be unfair to other banks and building societies, the arrangements would not cover any new accounts set up after 19 September," it added.

The other banks cried foul big time, they're pissed already for all sorts of reasons.

NRK were the new kids on the block, they took huge dollops of market share and will be exposed/painted as the fall guys that led others into making stupid attempts to try to follow them into the fray of excess lending - which many did and are now paying big time for.

That's part of the reason why NRK's share price is being kicked around the stockmaket like a rotton cabbage with no sign of support from high bid lenders in the wings being rumoured for comfort if nothing else. The damage has already been done to the banking fraternity, so the quicker its over the quicker they hope things will recover.

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Since it would otherwise be unfair to other banks and building societies, the arrangements would not cover any new accounts set up after 19 September," it added.

As the undoubted Guru on all matters financial on HPC,Only Me,I am sure you are up to speed on the Guarantee.

But lest any one thinks the Itallics are aimed at my previous post,the guarantee does cover anyone re-investing their funds of the same value after 19 September of closed accounts during the run.

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