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Property Soars As Buyers Turn Their Back On Mortgage Woes

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This is a suggested template for bulls and VIs to use for news articles in coming weeks.

___________________________________________________________________________

Property to soar for a thousand more years

HOME buyers throughout Britain have turned their back on the late summer City gloom and have returned

to a level of frantic buying not seen since early 2006.

Dave Brick of estate agents Lords & Flaunters in the commuter belt town of Great Titting Heath said

"We're busier now than we've been in years, houses and the better flats are selling before

vendors have even had a chance to phone up to instruct us."

Stories such as this are by no means rare. Agents across the country are reporting a dramatic

frenzy of guerilla buyers - eager to buy anything that has not been formally condemned outright.

"I sold a garden shed for £200,000 just the other week," says Ray Tile of Strippem & Flippem

in Shackston, an up and coming area of Slumstown-on-Sea. "It's not uncommon to have buyers

bringing luxury gifts to the office to 'encourage' me to phone them first if something comes in so that

they can purchase it immediately, usually over the phone with their credit card."

Just then Ray gives in to the incessant ringing of his lines and answers to an anxious buyer.

"Yes, don't worry Mrs Hollowhead, they've agreed to sell it to you, they say you'll love it when you

see it and no you needn't worry as they're okay with the £875,000 you've paid...yes it is a

lovely studio flat, don't worry you won't lose it like the last time." Ray cuts the buyer off there, he knows

that for every minute he's on the phone he's losing another potential sale, and even the sub-million pound

cheapies like Mrs H's all count towards a hefty annual profit from commission. And of course, Ray always

feels under pressure towards the end of each month when he changes cars, "It's another Merc this month,"

he reassures.

I ask whether he had any doubts about HPI this year. He nods, then expands "In September, we saw a bit of

a slowdown. But then Merv [the Bank of England] cut interest rates in October and by Christmas even the

lower end of the market saw prices accelerate by tens of thousands a week."

A recent poll asked estate agents how they saw the market from here on. Unsurprisingly most saw

gains continuing until the end of time or an asteroid impact. "Even then, an asteroid could actually

increase the value of land, and that would have a knock-on effect on remaining standing properties

in that area," said Jodie Jiggles, an experienced estate agent back in Shackston. "People will always

need somewhere to live, and there's just not enough homes built for everyone who needs one.

I say to foo, er, buyers "Yes, there's a depression coming but you'll be a lot more depressed if you don't

buy now! But mostly they don't need cajoling, they know I'm right, they can just look at me and

see by the amount of jewellery I wear that I've obviously got the knowledge."

So, as we head in to another new year, it seems the best advice is that your one million pound ex-local

authority one-bed flat on the edge of that vice area is an investment that really can only go up.

( insert house graphics / clipart, graphs, smiling couples, bottle of champagne, picture of wad of notes, shiny car etc )

______________________________________________________________________________

:unsure:

<_<

Edited by The Last Bear

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Hehehe, good work :lol:.

Thanks, folks. :)

(and it almost got me a date with Lulu, but she lost interest after realising it's Tufty and not me in the avatar)

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Looking at the positive housing market spin coming from some sources now yet again (except AG and a very few others) you can all see why I wrote this stuff a few nights ago, it's like a monster that won't die.

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Guest An Bearin Bui
Looking at the positive housing market spin coming from some sources now yet again (except AG and a very few others) you can all see why I wrote this stuff a few nights ago, it's like a monster that won't die.

It is amazing the pro-HPI stuff that is still being relentlessly churned out by the media - it's a constant deluge of lunacy. Which is why I'm addicted to this site as it's an antidote to the general poison suppurating from every media outlet in the country. I expect a headline any day now to say:

"War declared with Iran: nuclear holocaust 'a distinct possibility': prices of basement flats to skyrocket"

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