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Burntfingers

Poetic Response To The Madness

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Sarah Beeny with a pot of paint

says this cottage could be quaint

it'll make the first-time buyers faint

when they see the price she's asking

the Project Manager's out of luck

the Interior Designer's really a cook

no-one knows how long it took

cos they've all been multi-tasking

it'll give King Merv a nervous rash

when the housing market starts to crash

the walls are rotten, so's the floor

someone's forgotten to fix the door

the cash runs out, they borrow more

and the budget's through the roof

the windows rattle the chimneys lean

it smells of cattle and Mr Sheen

it's a twenty-first century cash machine

and the lenders don't need proof

I'll be on the make in a fake moustache

when the housing market starts to crash

when a coal shed sells for fifty grand

white van man starts to buy up land

portfolios are out of hand

but everyone's a winner

I paid a hundred thousand quid

for a bungalow in Pontypridd

then sold it to the highest bid

before I'd had me dinner

I'll host a post-bankruptcy bash

when the housing market starts to crash

don't buy one house buy two or three

put tenants in and charge a fee

then sit around and drink some tea

success can make you thirsty

pay roughly three times what it's worth

then one day you'll come back to earth

in a house that looks like an afterbirth

delivered by Phil and Kirstie

I'll be up the spout, clean out of cash

there'll be a bloody dash, like a scene from M.A.S.H.

more homelessness and less panache

when the housing market starts to crash

Kabooommm!!!

Stiletto Pigeonetto, June 2007

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