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Property programmes advise home owners to tidy up and put the coffee on when showing prosective buyers around. As a tenant who is having a house sold from underneath me, I am less keen on impressing prospective buyers. Perhaps I could keep a plate of curry to warm up when people come round or maybe have a tape recorder hidden in the bushes playing strains of 'fighting neighbours'. An HPC wall poster with some facts and 'the graph' would be even better.

This is the second time I have had my rented home sold. For obvious reasons, I don't do the showing round. On the previous occasion, the estate agent phoned me and said all their sales agents were tied up and that I would have to show some prospective buyers round. When I declined to do this, he became furious.

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Property programmes advise home owners to tidy up and put the coffee on when showing prosective buyers around. As a tenant who is having a house sold from underneath me, I am less keen on impressing prospective buyers. Perhaps I could keep a plate of curry to warm up when people come round or maybe have a tape recorder hidden in the bushes playing strains of 'fighting neighbours'. An HPC wall poster with some facts and 'the graph' would be even better.

This is the second time I have had my rented home sold. For obvious reasons, I don't do the showing round. On the previous occasion, the estate agent phoned me and said all their sales agents were tied up and that I would have to show some prospective buyers round. When I declined to do this, he became furious.

How horrid are you? There are worse smells than curry. ;-)

Its all about location location location as the tv keeps telling you.

Tell them about the yobs who hang around outside, the number of times you've had your car broken into, your purse robbed and your mother attacked when she came to visit. Say friends don't visit you here cos its so rough.

Obviously a torched car outside would enhance the effect but you'd probably be going a bit far.

People want a nice quiet neighbourhood so tell them there are satanists next door but apart from the odd goat squealing they don't bother you.

Get the neighbours to put some loud music on for the afternoon if possible. Mind you that might encourage them.

Make a list of all the problems in the area - are the schools bad? etc etc

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Get yourself a bar of cooking chocolate, bring the boil, then pour around the toilet bowls.

Get some of that Green Slime Kids love to play with, and place the odd smear on the Bathroom Mirror, and a hanger on the bathroom door handle.

If you have a friend who has a cat or dog, get yourself a nice handfull of hairs and springle liberally on the lounge carpet, get yourself a Kellogs Cornflake box, put some sawdust in, then add ammonia and some of those Vegetarian Sausages broken in half, place the article on the kitchen worktop.

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Get yourself a bar of cooking chocolate, bring the boil, then pour around the toilet bowls.

Get some of that Green Slime Kids love to play with, and place the odd smear on the Bathroom Mirror, and a hanger on the bathroom door handle.

If you have a friend who has a cat or dog, get yourself a nice handfull of hairs and springle liberally on the lounge carpet, get yourself a Kellogs Cornflake box, put some sawdust in, then add ammonia and some of those Vegetarian Sausages broken in half, place the article on the kitchen worktop.

There speaks someone with experience? :D

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When I was a student I rented with two friends this fellow's granny anex. He was going through a divorce, the house was for sale, but he was determined that it wasn't going to sell at the price his ex wife wanted. He liked where he lived.

Three male 20year olds in the annexe really frightened off the buyers of an otherwise very nice property near Virginia Water (stockbroker/rock star area of Surrey). :)

Oh and it was 1982 and the middle of a correction.

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I have to say that indeed it was from experience.

In the first part I used to own a couple of students houses, I can tell you that going to collect the rent each week saved me a fortune on food, as I could not eat for days after.

In the second part, over the years I have viewed hundreds of properties and the big put offs are Animals, Animal Toilets in Kitchens, Dog Turds across back gardens, Sh1t Stained Toilets, and the smell of urnine in Bathrooms and Cloaks when several men share a house and pee on those twee toilet matts leaving it to fester for months.

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Thank you for these good ideas.

However it would seem that the market might be doing the job for me. Apart from two people on the first day, no one is coming to see the house. Absolutely zilch. After the flurry of last month, have the wings fallen off the housing market?

The move is a real hassle but I am encourage to find that rents are quite soft at the moment. If the landlord comes back and asks me to stay after all, he might have to tempt me with a little rent reduction (say a 10% reduction).

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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