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lewissheridan

And The Moral Of The Story Is ?

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My Mrs. says to me there is this Chinese joke:

A Chinese woman and an English woman die and go to heaven.

God says to them both, how do you feel now you've died.

The Chinese woman said "dissapointed, i just saved up enough money to buy a house!"

The English woman says, "I nearly paid of my mortgage, but no regrets, lived in a nice big house".

I didn't get the joke. :o

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My Mrs. says to me there is this Chinese joke:

A Chinese woman and an English woman die and go to heaven.

God says to them both, how do you feel now you've died.

The Chinese woman said "dissapointed, i just saved up enough money to buy a house!"

The English woman says, "I nearly paid of my mortgage, but no regrets, lived in a nice big house".

I didn't get the joke. :o

The joke is the Chinese womans heirs inherit her fortune,

the English woman's house reverts to the bank?

Not that funny really

ABB

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If god says to me

"how do you feel now you've died"

And the word "house" springs immediately to mind, I shall demand to go back and have another life.

Houses are just a pile of bricks that stop us getting wet and cold, I do sometimes think we need to take a deep breath and a step back !

The joke is the Chinese womans heirs inherit her fortune,

the English woman's house reverts to the bank?

Not that funny really

ABB

Actually the Chinese woman pays 40% inhertience tax and the English woman spent her money enjoying herself taking the grandchildren on holiday ??

Edited by terrified

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Guest Winners and Losers

The moral of the story is live for today. Glaringly obvious. :rolleyes:

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My Mrs. says to me there is this Chinese joke:

A Chinese woman and an English woman die and go to heaven.

God says to them both, how do you feel now you've died.

The Chinese woman said "dissapointed, i just saved up enough money to buy a house!"

The English woman says, "I nearly paid of my mortgage, but no regrets, lived in a nice big house".

I didn't get the joke. :o

English woman forgets to add that she got it in the divorce settlement :o Along with all the usual single parent benefits :blink:

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It says to me that God is potentially a VI.

Now we know why there's been a tripple top...

And God said... house prices shall reach a permanently high plateau... and it was done!

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The english woman doesn't have any grandchildren because her children cannot afford a basic house anywhere so they all turned gay and did re-runs of the freddy mercury "I want to break free" video wearing cow-hide costumes scoring the beautifully laminated wood floor that Sarah beeny had fitted for their landlords who subsequently kept kicking them out on the street with no protection because of the legal stance regarding security of tenure in this country since they in turn were going bust after having just been to an Inner Tits "You Can Be A Landlord Too" course for £2,500 where a gay yankee boy told them that they only had their own fear holding them back from using the bank's money to buy into the top of a resdiential property crash of a magnitude never seen before on earth that was caused because a guy called alan got a bit senile and used Homer Simpson's Tele-working bobbing bird to control his economy which duped another scottish guy called gordon to reduce his interest rates accidentally, naming no names.

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The english woman doesn't have any grandchildren because her children cannot afford a basic house anywhere so they all turned gay and did re-runs of the freddy mercury "I want to break free" video wearing cow-hide costumes scoring the beautifully laminated wood floor that Sarah beeny had fitted for their landlords who subsequently kept kicking them out on the street with no protection because of the legal stance regarding security of tenure in this country since they in turn were going bust after having just been to an Inner Tits "You Can Be A Landlord Too" course for £2,500 where a gay yankee boy told them that they only had their own fear holding them back from using the bank's money to buy into the top of a resdiential property crash of a magnitude never seen before on earth that was caused because a guy called alan got a bit senile and used Homer Simpson's Tele-working bobbing bird to control his economy which duped another scottish guy called gordon to reduce his interest rates accidentally, naming no names.

There's a book in there somewhere. :ph34r:

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The english woman doesn't have any grandchildren because her children cannot afford a basic house anywhere so they all turned gay and did re-runs of the freddy mercury "I want to break free" video wearing cow-hide costumes scoring the beautifully laminated wood floor that Sarah beeny had fitted for their landlords who subsequently kept kicking them out on the street with no protection because of the legal stance regarding security of tenure in this country since they in turn were going bust after having just been to an Inner Tits "You Can Be A Landlord Too" course for £2,500 where a gay yankee boy told them that they only had their own fear holding them back from using the bank's money to buy into the top of a resdiential property crash of a magnitude never seen before on earth that was caused because a guy called alan got a bit senile and used Homer Simpson's Tele-working bobbing bird to control his economy which duped another scottish guy called gordon to reduce his interest rates accidentally, naming no names.

And breathe... 1, 2... out... 1, 2... in 1, 2... out... 1, 2...

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It says to me that God is potentially a VI.

Now we know why there's been a tripple top...

And God said... house prices shall reach a permanently high plateau... and it was done!

Well, according to legend^^^^^^factual truth, God built the world in only 6 days.

He just forgot to add in enough houses.

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The Chinese woman said "dissapointed, i just saved up enough money to buy a house!"

The English woman says, "I nearly paid of my mortgage, but no regrets, lived in a nice big house".

theres a flaw in this

no one actually ever saves up to buy a house, they save a deposit traditionally and borrow the rest

theres nowt wrong with the english woman, as she has nearly paid off the mortgage (well done to her! some people are treading water on interest only mortgages or increasing debt by remortaging!!!)

maybe i am looking into this too much :unsure:

save a deposit and buy something not overpriced without overstretching myself.... nowt wrong with that God is there?

Oh BTW the queue for hell is overthere with the BTL bandwagon

Edited by notanewmember

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..and on the fourth day. behold there were higher IRs.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.'"

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The moral of the story is live for today. Glaringly obvious. :rolleyes:

I'd love to do that but I fear I may wake up the next morning faced with the task of having to explain my drunken nakedness to a judge.

winstonchurchill.jpg

Edited by BuyingBear

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Guest Bart of Darkness

Well, according to legend^^^^^^factual truth, God built the world in only 6 days.

He just forgot to add in enough houses.

Naah, he forgot to make the UK big enough so that its population didn't have to live in cramped Barrat estates/shoebox apartments.

<installs GoogleEarth and looks at the UK from space>

Heyyyyyy.... wait a minute!

Jules: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother******er before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

Jules Winnfield, Pulp Fiction

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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